michael5

I'm currently a sophomore in my first semester at school. When I was a freshman I transferred from my original school to the one I'm currently at after the first semester. My original school was a state school and the one Im currently at is a private school which is much more expensive. I left my original school because I was convinced it would solve all my problems of hating it. My second semester of Freshman year wasn't great either. Since my new school is in the city, i had to room in a hotel due to lack of space. My roommate for that semester was pretty bad, no friends, and pretty weird so he didn't really introduce me to anybody. And im not bashing on the kid cause he probably had more friends than me there. I have a few friends who go to nearby schools that i would see every now and then, and one really good friend who went to the same school but I didn't wanna cling to him and his friends so I tried to hang with him as little as possible. But pretty much the rest of the semester was terrible. I made no friends practically and only really went out when It was with friends from home. Im kind of a shy kid, and probably have some social anxiety. But when I'm home I'm fine. So i kinda told myself it was just a ****ty first year and next year would be different. So right now I'm about 3 weeks away from the end of the first semester of my sophomore year and I'm pretty miserable. I live in the dorms now, and my roommate is cool although we're not best friends we get along and hang out every now and then. I have terrible anxiety about everything going on right now so I've been seeing a school counsellor. Basically heres my summary of what I need advice for, I have no friends at school, only really go out with people from home, sometimes hate being around my group of friends from home cause they all have stories and friends to talk about and I have nothing, and I always feel overshadowed by my friend who goes here. Im not a weird kid or anything, I just get pretty nervous about basically everything, I'm still undecided as a major and not really that close to deciding. Ive applied to a state school and am thinking of transferring there next semester to save my parents money and basically try and start over. I feel stupid for transferring after one semester at my old school, and I feel pretty stupid now about maybe doing it again. I just don't know what else to do, cause I don't wanna be miserable another semester and I know if I stay it will probably be the same way and also next year id have to live off campus. If you guys have any advice about this or have been in a similar situation I'd appreciate any feedback at all, thanks

scubasteve1119

Hello Michael,

I'm sorry for your discomfort. Maybe try first by just staying positive, much easier said than done.
This may be part of becoming more of an individual. I'd like to believe most people go through this, some rely on others for comfort while other strong individuals (like yourself) don't necessarily need others for support.
Keep in mind-
There is no such thing as a perfect college. There is no such thing as perfection. What are some of the things you love doing? If you have some things you love doing, go and do them. If not, go and search for them with a positive attitude. You might be able to find happiness anywhere if you search hard enough.

michael5

Thanks for your advice, I've also considered taking a semester off to take a step back and look at my options. But I would also feel worse knowing I had to leave school while my friends are all enjoying it. As for things I do, my counsellor has gotten me to start doing some things I've been wanting to bit been putting off such as running, and continuing guitar lessons. What I'm really hoping for is to just make a few solid friends that I genuinely like and can hang out with and do the whole college thing, some partying, nothing crazy though. Just good some good friends. Like I said I get anxiety a lot and it definitely keeps me from making friends and meeting girls and all that. I never really had it that bad until I started school and it sucks cause it keeping me from enjoying it and i know im not a weird kid or anything. Im trying to deal with it but lately its really been holding me back.

TheRuggedMale

Hey Buddy .... tough it out, its good preparation for "life' When I was in college I was in an awful dorm at Syracuse University. All guys dorm and on the edge of campus, across the street from a ghetto... a real ghetto. Many guys rushed fraternities to meet people, and more importantly women.... I tried for one night .. wasnt my bag. Many freshmen transferred that year as a result of our non-social living arrangements.

I suggest getting out of the dorms, asap.... they are brutal. Having a roomate is brutal enough .. sharing a bathroom with 30 other people is Guantanamo. I suggest getting a job at a bar or restaurant...or somewhere else somewhat social where you will interact with people you are interested in.

I used to do this in my twenties and thirties when I moved to a new city, pick up a shift as a bartender 1 or 2 nights a week, even though I didnt need the money. Some of those people are still close friends of mine 15 years later.

By my sophmore year at Syracuse I had met 4 guys that are still very close to me today and ... tough it out, make some small changes to increase your social interaction .. with people you are interested in. All this cool guy, cool girl crap goes away soon .. hang in there !