How do you reinvent yourself? - Page 2

WCF · 04-02-2009, 02:48 AM

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Change on the inside is reflected outward.

I really think this is very good advice. It's not enough just to try and act differently - that can come off as fake and obnoxious. If you want to change, you've got to change your mental state as well.

This is the only example I can think of right now (sorry, might be a poor one). A guy is shy and can't approach girls. It's not enough for him to simply start acting cocky or approaching girls. This comes off as obnoxious or creepy. He has to actually change his mental state to one of confidence. Eventually, it should come naturally to him.

I think TA3021 needs some of this confidence. It seems like fear and anxiety hold you back, but if you could become a more confident person, this stuff seems to magically disappear. Of course, that's more easily said than done. Focus on the things you are good at. Realize that things really aren't as bad as we always make them out to be. Stop being afraid of everything, etc etc. Perhaps a little inspiration would do the trick?

idwatkwia · 04-07-2009, 01:46 AM

i introduced myself with a new nickname that i thought i always wanted to go by. now everyone calls me it, and i hate it.

alexi_x3 · 04-10-2009, 11:57 AM

Amazon.com: How to Win Friends & Influence People: Dale Carnegie: Books

great book. i think it's something everyone should read

TA3021 · 05-01-2009, 08:54 PM

I have improved a lot since this thread began. Yet I wonder if this is it. I'm satisfied with my life now, but if it stays just like this months from now I will be sad.
A week ago, I finally came out of my shell. A personality that I didn't know I had just bursted out of me and everyone loved it. I ended up making friends. I'm not to the point where I can call and Facebook them regularly, but I feel like I'm nearly a part of their group. I just hope they're not one of those people who come and go in my life or drift away from me. I'm afraid of the momentum dying.
My social life is the best it has ever been, yet I keep thinking, "Is that all there is?"

BananaSandwich15 · 05-27-2009, 02:28 PM

just don't limit yourself. be the person you've always wanted to be. you can change your clothes cut your hair get better friends...

edt: people come and go in your life. it is possible that the friends you have now may drift away from you. if that happens it's not a bad thing. people latch onto those who are at a simliar place in their lives. if you split from your friends it just means your life is in a difference place.

i don't really know how to explain it but when you lose a friend and continune to be happy, better ones will come.

the momentum lies with you. if you are still not happy it means that the life you're living is not what is best for you. instead of trying to have friends and a social life for the sake of having one, be selective and find those who truly care about u as a person and share your interests.

fizix2 · 05-27-2009, 11:23 PM

i'm really happy for you TA

TA3021 · 05-28-2009, 05:36 PM

^ Thank you so much fizix. There are some truly good people in the world

TA3021 · 08-02-2009, 06:07 PM

I have a great job, many friends, health, a wonderful career path, and I'm close to getting my license! The biggest reason I'm so happy is because I hardly had to do a thing to change myself, if anything at all. The moral of the story is to open up and be yourself. All I had to do was set goals and work for them.

To everyone who said I could never do it: IN YO FACE!

Richard Rivera · 08-02-2009, 06:26 PM

Congrats! Are you still aiming for Southern Methodist for undergrad and then Duke or Stanford for grad, or have you gotten over your friend now that you have found success?

TA3021 · 08-02-2009, 06:48 PM

^ I think you're referring to the wrong person. I'm just going to graduate from my local school and become a copywriter. That field pays based on how creative one is, not grades or schooling. I'm just in college for the networking and to hone my writing skills a bit.

Richard Rivera · 08-02-2009, 06:52 PM

Oh damn I'm thinking of Innovative Box

TA3021 · 08-02-2009, 06:54 PM

^ LOL! From what I remember, that guy is doing great too. He even sent me a PM about it:

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The posters advised me to see a therapist. I did. I did eight weeks of it. Helped me tremendously.

The posters advised me start my own business to supply me with additional income while being too busy as a student to commit to a standard pay-for-hourly-work part time job. I did. My social life benefited significantly because of it.

The posters advised me to being mediocre and focus more on my academic work. I did. I stopped posting on this forum and now I'm finishing off a great semester with a 3.75 with a considerable course load.

BeKindRewind · 08-03-2009, 05:46 AM

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One book: Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss. It will change your life exactly the way you want to.

Pretty good advice here. I'd recommend reading The Game first, which details the transformation of a social failure to one of the greatest pickup artists of all time.

I don't know if you've ever heard of Neuro Linguistic Programming or not, but it can be a great form of self-hypnosis to give you that unstoppable confidence that you look for.

At this point in your self-improvement, you are becoming more confident and more socially active. However, your confidence still seems dependent on how active your social life is and in turn your happiness is affected. People will come and go in and out of your life, it's a fact.

Trying to become part of a group can be difficult. The thing to keep in mind is that you are your own person and you don't need to impress them. Don't do something to get their approval, do it because you like it / think it's fun and they in turn will follow.

TA3021 · 08-03-2009, 07:49 PM

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Pretty good advice here. I'd recommend reading The Game first, which details the transformation of a social failure to one of the greatest pickup artists of all time.

Does this work for women in any way? It seems to only be aimed at men.

TA3021 · 08-08-2009, 05:15 PM

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I don't know if you've ever heard of Neuro Linguistic Programming or not, but it can be a great form of self-hypnosis to give you that unstoppable confidence that you look for.

I'm having a hard time deciding whether it is pseudoscience or not. Critics say that it is no better than New Age stuff. I hope it's not true because I will be upset if I just wasted my money. I know I shouldn't base my happiness on friendship, but I've tried everything and I mean everything