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Common App Short Answer Critique

BroncofanBroncofan Posts: 2Registered User New Member
edited January 2012 in College Essays
I'll cut right to the chase. Here is my short answer for the common app I am transferring but I live in an area that also has good skiing (if that matters, but I wouldn't have chosen this if I went to college in LA or something). I know there is a little fat to trim. Looking for some suggestions.... any critique appriciated. Thanks!

Edit: Put my entire essay here, and I guess that isn't a good idea... looking for people to send it to. Please help... thanks again.
Post edited by Broncofan on

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