Read my personal statement for UC prompt #1?
I know applications aren't due for another 4-5 months, but I just want to get started. I did put thought into this but not as much as this is only a rough draft. However, I'd really like some feedback and revisions...I know I need A LOT of it. I know UC personal statements take many drafts. Thanks in advance!(:
Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I made up my own imaginary father as a child. I told all of my friends that he was a famous pilot who would take me with him to travel around the world. He was like a celebrity among my friends; in fact, I was one of those "cool kids" because of my "father." I knew that one day, they would all want to meet them. That day came when an annual Father and Daughter Dance took place at my elementary school as part of the SAS 2nd Grade activities. I remember being the only girl who did not attend. The next day, most of my friends came up to me to ask where I was and I brushed it off, saying that he was busy flying airplanes. I remember coming home crying and whining to my grandma about how I needed to know who and where my father was. It never bothered me that I had never met my father until then. From that point on, I always used that as an excuse to be upset and cry.
I have memories of watching commercials about fathers teaching their daughters how to ride bicycles or scenes in movies where the father teaches his daughter how to swim to the other side of the pool. I would always run to my room and cry. I remember always asking my family, "where's my daddy?" only to be ignored. In the events where teachers assign the students to make Father Day gifts for their fathers, I would always be the one to sit there doing something else. I would be jealous of my half siblings when their dad would buy Jamba Juice for them and not for me. I cried when my mom and stepdad took my half siblings to San Diego Zoo while I was at home with my grandparents. When I came over my mom and stepdad's house once and ate a cookie, my half siblings told me, "our dad bought us that so you can't eat all of it." I felt like it was always my fault, that because I did not have a father, my mother did not love me because she had her own family. I felt different from everyone else.
Eighth grade culmination came, and I had a hunch no one would come to attend it. My grandparents dropped me off in the morning and left. When I grabbed my Certificate of Completion from the principal, my family members, including my mother and stepdad screamed out my name while my aunt and uncles took pictures and videos, and my grandparents were waving flowers and balloons. I stood there in awe as a hundred of things came across my mind. While I was too busy pitying myself all those years, I lost sense of what was most important. It actually didn't matter what I didn't have because what I did have outweighed everything else. My grandparents still took care of me despite so many financial setbacks, and my mother did love me or else she wouldn't have worked so hard as a manicurist to earn money and care for my half-siblings and I.
I was born without a father. It states "Unknown" where the father's name should be on my birth certificate. I have never met him; neither has my mother or anyone else. I would say the old and generic statement, "it was hard growing up without a father," but to me, it actually turned out to be a blessing. There are times where I wished I had my father around, but who needs one when I have so many other family members around? I have yet to learn how to ride a bike or swim across the pool; but I have learned so many other things.