Opinion on college essay?
I was hoping to recieve some feedback on my essay. Im trying to get into a uc school, hopefully ucla. This is personal statement #1.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” For me, Henry David Thoreau’s transcendentalist quote signifies much more than just a memory of a philosophical movement but rather it is an outlook on life: find the best qualities in things. My family always allows me to see what it is like to be a part of the bigger picture. We are not just a group of people, products of years of evolution, living under the same roof; we are a real family. As an only child, I had no siblings to blame whenever I was in trouble, thus my parents have always held a special role in regards to my upbringing, and I have started to realize the importance of our relationship. If I could become a parent that is half as good as mine are, I think it will benefit the world.
Every night dinner is held in the same tradition; we eat together without distractions. Although the television is turned off, it doesn’t matter because the conversation would drown out the dialogue. I can always count on my dad to vibrantly interpret the most recent tax provision or other accounting jargon. My mom has a more realistic approach on life or the ‘real world’ and she has educated me to be flexible and “go with the flow.” As a second grade teacher at Miller Elementary School for military families, she reveals the latest problems in the classroom, but it is obvious that she adores her job, constantly spending many hours preparing to teach the material using an individualized approach. She really wants to help the kids learn and, as far as I’m concerned, she is one of the most selfless teachers there is. Her contributions to the conversations remind me of ancient memories of myself in second grade and elementary school in general. I remembered playing in the chess club at La Jolla Country Day while in kindergarten. Furthermore, as the conversation drifts in my direction I am interrogated about my day at school. But I manage to survive the barrage and in reality it has been very crucial that my parents have remained active in my education. Every night I see how we are able to communicate with one another and I find myself comforted by the fact that I am an integral part of it.
Moreover, my parents have taught me to have fun and have worked diligently to make me feel important and feel a sense of camaraderie. Playing sports and spending time with each other has become a part of our lives. The list ranges from baseball in the backyard with a wiffle ball to soccer at the park to ping pong in the garage. Always letting me win, it wasn’t until recent reflections that I realized they were helping to build up my confidence. Additionally, my mom wishing to stay home with me after I was born, sacrificed her work and took a year off . In fact, after she had to return to work, my dad changed his work schedule to be with me during the day.
My mom possesses a more specialized role by virtue of the fact that she is the backbone of my maturity thus far. I can look to her for advice in topics ranging from what classes I take in school to steering me toward making the right choices for participating in a certain party or activity. Even when I was younger she took teaching off on Fridays, taking the time to volunteer in my classroom. I thought she was just helping teach but now I realize she wanted something more; to spend time with her son.
So, looking at the bigger picture, I think this world would be much better off if parents maintained a nurturing and loving relationship with their children; I aspire to be that kind of family man.