This is my edited CommonApp essay. It's the prompt 2, about a issue of local, personal concern and why is it important to me.
Here it is.
Please, give me some tips in what I can better or if I need to edit it more
"Bullying is a serious problem. Although many people dont see it as a big deal, bullying is in fact a type of terrorism that is present in all schools.
In my opinion, the basis of bullying is a narrow view of people. The bullies like to find differences in people and then categorize these differences as bad. However, this is vacuous, since in reality we are all equal.
I went to a Catholic School. Since it was a religious institution, the school was composed of only males.
According to some studies, the atmosphere in these schools increases the odds of bullying.
Sadly, I can support that. I was constantly bullied at my school.
Apparently, I was not good looking (superficial opinion).
Because of this, older kids loved to tease me and bother me.
First, it was with my ears. Supposedly I had big ears, but I didn't. They looked fine to me.
They began calling me names, like Mickey Mouse or Satellite Ears; the most common was Dumbo.
I constantly grew up in the school with this name. Every time an older kid felt the need to bother me, he yelled to the school: Here comes Dumbo!
He would then, with other kids, grab me from the ears and drive me around the playground, saying: Come on! Fly!
I remember that everyone stared at me, laughing, and some others looked at me with an abject view.
As time passed, the kids that liked to bother me began to leave to Universities.
Unfortunately, there were more bullies than just them.
Now I wasnt bothered because of my ears (This was until I reached 9th grade).
People now said that I was disgustingly ugly. They brought a new set of nicknames for me, including Shrek, ****, and their favorite, Hagrid.
Every time I found them, they screamed to me Hey, whats up Hagrid? and everyone again stared, laughing. The most archetypal question they asked me was: Does it hurts to be ugly?
Obviously I didnt answer. I just stayed quiet, eager to hear the bell ring.
Because of this, I was so scared that many of the breaks and lunch times I hided at the chapel. I ate there and then prayed to God for the bullying to stop.
Surprisingly, I never thought of revenge, neither did I felt any negative feelings towards them.
Luckily, I was only scared.
But Im glad I just felt that. If I had felt any feeling of revenge, I would probably have ended even worse than what I actually did.
And as you can see, my big ears and my ugliness were the basis of their bullying. This was their aberration: a superficial point of view they had about me.
Every difference is based on vacuous superficial views, and because of this, many kids suffer this illogical treatment.
From my experience, bullying is a harsh thing, and it needs be stopped.
The only way is to explain everyone that we are all equal. If you have a keen mind, you will agree with me.
Unfortunately, every day there are more bullies with narrow minds, who dont understand this general fact. If the day, where everyone realizes that every people living in this world are similar to one another, doesnt come, bullying is most surely to continue to exist."