Please critique my essay!
okay here it is:
Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, and the skills and resources you used to resolve it. Did it change you? If so, how?
Ten years. Ten years is the age gap between my brother and me. When I was born he was entering fifth grade, when I entered first grade he was getting his license, and when I started the third grade he was leaving for college. Because we didn’t necessarily grow up together, I always like to think of him as my third parent. He helped me when I fell off my bike and scratched my knees, he picked me up from daycare every day, and he taught me how to fish and play checkers. And he encourages and believes in me more then any other person in my life. Ten years. Ten years is also the amount of time my brother will spend in prison.
In 2009 my brother was involved in a drunk driving accident that unfortunately killed two people. The initial shock of it all put me into a daze for most of my freshman year. I started to become very introverted and lost many friends and began missing out on normal high school things in favor of sitting in my room and wallowing. As my home transformed from its usual quiet sanctuary to a whirlwind of chaos filled to the brim with lawyers and doctors, I found myself delving into a cocoon to escape the reality that was now my life. I was ashamed of what was happening and embarrassed to be the subject of pity.
Growing up I was always the center of attention. I always got what I wanted and always knew where I stood. After the accident I was thrown onto the back burner and my parents’ lives began to revolve around their eldest child. I learned that I was not a princess and that, although it sometimes seemed as though I were an only child, I definitely was not.
This tragedy not only muddled my whole outlook on life but also made me completely aware of the unfairness and realities of life. I could no longer be a ditzy teenager, oblivious of the struggles and pains of our existence. I was thrust into adulthood in more ways than one. My parents still loved and cared for me, but they were no longer as fully there as they used to be. Physically they were near, but mentally they were disconnected, always thinking and worrying about my brother.
I began to grow up and not rely so much on their attention. After a couple years I realized that punishing myself for a mistake my brother made was not going to benefit me. I began getting active in clubs in my school and gained a new group of friends who were honest and encouraging and had the same interests and goals as me. I began to socialize and got my normal lighthearted attitude back.
While I was not directly in either of the cars that were involved in this accident, this event shaped who I am today. It became a more loving and patient person with my family. It showed me how to handle situations out of my control. And most importantly, it showed me the true strength that I had within me.
any pointers, revisions, tips, hints, or anything of the sort would be incredibly helpful, thanks in advance!