I am willing to read and critique any essay, but...
Future college students, I'm addressing you in particular - you need to learn how to take constructive criticism. I love this site; I love the optimism and reliving the days I waited until I got each of my acceptance letters with you. If you have not read Strunk & White "Elements of Style" (and yes, I hear certain people groaning) then my advice to you is going to be rather limited.
If you cannot use a semi-colon properly, do not use one. It will not make you appear smarter than you are.
If you insist on using a cliche (e.g. solid as a rock, thrown to the wind) I will stop reading immediately.
If you do not know the difference between i.e. and e.g., your English teacher has failed you.
This all speaks, unfortunately, to those individuals whose first language is not English. I cannot begin to muster enough sympathy for you. I know native English speakers that cannot conjugate verbs or stop themselves from saying things like "they've done good".
I appreciate the "thank you" I get after a criticism, knowing that you are foaming at the mouth the entire time you read what I respond with. It's good manners; your parents taught you well. But be prepared for someone who does not know you (much like the people who will eventually read your admissions essays) to say things you might not want to hear.