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05-10-2008, 01:20 AM
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#76 | | New Member
Join Date: May 2008
Threads: 1
Posts: 7
| Can I please read it? | 
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05-10-2008, 03:31 AM
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#77 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007 Gender: Male
Threads: 41
Posts: 2,318
| I'd like to read it =D pm me | |
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05-10-2008, 06:32 AM
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#78 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Female
Threads: 1
Posts: 102
| Wow. People. | |
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05-10-2008, 10:56 AM
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#79 | | New Member
Join Date: May 2008
Threads: 0
Posts: 1
| could you send it to me too? | |
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05-10-2008, 04:01 PM
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#80 | | Member
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: on vacation Gender: Female
Threads: 58
Posts: 865
| >>Most kids my age have sex frequently.
Picture your admissions officer as that balding guy with wire-rimmed glasses sitting in his rocking chair muttering about "kids these days."
You might get an open-minded, sexually active 20-something, but it's very possible your adcom thinks kids who don't save themselves for marriage are immoral hormone-crazed whores whose very presence would pollute their university's hallowed halls. People like that still exist, you know. I mean, it wasn't long ago interracial marriage was considered taboo.
Last edited by fizix2 : 05-10-2008 at 04:06 PM.
Reason: the sky is falling
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05-11-2008, 02:35 PM
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#81 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Threads: 30
Posts: 222
| you know, I don't doubt that it is good because I'm intrigued.
PM me, and I'll let you know what I think- if it comes across genuine or contrived. | |
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05-11-2008, 02:47 PM
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#82 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Threads: 30
Posts: 222
| Just kidding...read through the posts, read your essay.
I'm sorry- but I will have to agree with Annika. Look at this way. I understand your situation and the event itself was huge, a turning point for you for sure. I will not deny the emotional significance of the event. BUT when appyling to colleges, the event doesn't matter. It is the rhetoric- it's how you presented your essay. People have written about rubber balls and chairs and gotton into Harvard while people who have written poignant accounts of helping blind lepers in South America were rejected outright. College adcoms won't know the event- they don't care- it depends on how YOU present it and your essay, frankly, wasn't gripping. The writing was a bit crude( not the sexual aspect, but grammatically). While you may have felt that your candid response would have been your winning point, you did not sell it. It came across as a naive, voyoeristic paragraph that seems wholly immature. At one point, you reflected on how you didn't rape her- while the situation to you is different, on paper, it comes out not just bland and flat but also alarming. I was reading this thinking, would I want a student, who at 13, thinks he was morally right to not **** a girl while she was passed out?
I'm sorry but I can understand why you got rejected. | |
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05-11-2008, 05:59 PM
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#83 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Gender: Male
Threads: 6
Posts: 1,502
| Edit: Never mind. | |
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05-11-2008, 06:24 PM
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#84 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: PA Gender: Female
Threads: 6
Posts: 35
| I guess that some posters are right - the admissions officers might not like it. It is a risk of course. I do think it's about a meaningful experience, but you have to look at it from the point of view of another person. A large part of what you read is how it is perceived.
I think people are being a little too harsh though, it's still a good essay. | |
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05-11-2008, 06:30 PM
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#85 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female
Threads: 21
Posts: 188
| PM it to me | |
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05-11-2008, 10:40 PM
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#86 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Threads: 9
Posts: 208
| please pm me it, I would really apreciate it. | |
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05-11-2008, 10:56 PM
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#87 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Threads: 9
Posts: 208
| I didnt really understand what your admissions counselor thought was so amazing about it, sure it was well written and a unusual topic, but the point that it drove in? That you resisted a 13 yr olds temptation? So here's what the admin officer knows about you: you went to drinking parties at age 13, were in one night stand situations, and a focal theme in your life was being faced with sex and resisting it. Its not the fact that you addressed sex, it is that you addressed a very awkward part of it - a thirteen year old with a drunk 17 year old - and the overall message was that you wouldn't take advantage of a drunk girl. I would like to talk to your counselor and see what she thought was so amazing about it. The writing skills and honesty are good though | |
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05-13-2008, 01:59 PM
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#88 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: SEA- Future College Reject Gender: Unknown
Threads: 16
Posts: 241
| This is the "most powerful essay that you wrote but will it be the most powerfull essay that the admission officers will read? What tell us that you did not actually have sex with the girl? Why should we trust you? By the way, waiting to have sex is not unique. In the catholic church in the Dominican rep. they preach abstinence and there are some young people who practice it. Have you do the virginity pledge? Do it then you can say something interesting. When you are criticizing the kids of your age who are having sex, what about the chidlren of the officers who will read your essays? Do you mean that you are moraly better than them because you don't have sex? What about then? Did they have sex when they were your age?
Last edited by Grande Antilles : 05-13-2008 at 02:01 PM.
Reason: You idiots!
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05-13-2008, 07:08 PM
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#89 | | Junior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Threads: 7
Posts: 90
| I agree with what others have said... your essay comes off as if you want kudos for not raping a drunk seventeen-year-old girl. As a seventeen-year-old girl, that is immensely disturbing. Should I go around thanking every guy I meet for being able to resist his urges and not rape me?
Also, just on the grammatical level, the structure was a little awkward, and could use some revision. | |
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05-14-2008, 12:45 AM
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#90 | | New Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Threads: 0
Posts: 1
| PM it, please! | |
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