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05-03-2008, 05:05 PM
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#61 | | Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Threads: 141
Posts: 462
| Annika, once again, unless you have experienced a situation that tested your morality in the same way I have, you lack credibility in your insights. There is a big difference between doing the right thing, and doing something knowing you won't get caught doing. Even the most ritcheous individuals have been known to commit great sins in their life time and get away with it until they come clean themselves. In some respects, this essay may be looked at as controversial (as other posters have called it), or simple decision making (like you say). The fact of the matter is, because there are two different views as to how this essay may be looked at, I have been rejected from some of my safeties but have been accepted to some reaches/gotten scholarship from schools that were considered matches. All in all, my guidance counselor adored it, and a Harvard graduate was inspired by it. When an admissions counselor compares this essay with an essay about someone's dead father, the latter is more likely to receive an acceptance letter. | 
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05-03-2008, 05:32 PM
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#62 | | New Member
Join Date: May 2008 Gender: Female
Threads: 0
Posts: 23
| There were grammatical mistakes such as "The bottle landed facing me, as if it were destiny." "Bottle" is singular, so a singular verb (was) should have been used and other places the sentence construction was awkward.
it's the subjunctive...
interesting essay. :P can't say i'd have the guts to send something like that in, but if it worked for you.. | |
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05-03-2008, 05:36 PM
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#63 | | Junior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Threads: 5
Posts: 94
| Well, I thought it was different.  | |
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05-04-2008, 01:12 AM
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#64 | | Member
Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Unsure
Threads: 40
Posts: 382
| im curious please pm me | |
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05-04-2008, 01:29 AM
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#65 | | Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Threads: 141
Posts: 462
| trabia, i submitted it to several of my teachers, and they said something like if i used "as if" in the beginning, then it turns into 'were' rather than 'was'. | |
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05-04-2008, 01:40 AM
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#66 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Threads: 17
Posts: 256
| I appreciate this essay only because it is honest and you show some guts by sending in this "risky" essay. Other than that I think I do agree on a lot of things the other posters have said. The reason why your essay is interesting is because firstly you maintain that personal tone and secondly because you talk about sex and virginity from the very beginning (it always manages to push up the interest level a notch). However, I do not think this essay was powerful. I have read some "powerful" essays and they leave you with a completely different feeling, at least for a few seconds. I did not feel that impact after reading yours.
To be brutally honest: I don't think your essay would have stood out amongst the ad com. Please don't take this personally!
Cheers and Best of luck! | |
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05-04-2008, 07:42 AM
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#67 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Female
Threads: 1
Posts: 102
| Quote: |
Annika, once again, unless you have experienced a situation that tested your morality in the same way I have, you lack credibility in your insights. There is a big difference between doing the right thing, and doing something knowing you won't get caught doing.
| That wasn't her point. Most of the admissions officers may not have experienced a situation similar to yours. She's simply saying you need to be aware of how different people will interpret your essay.
Unlucky on your rejections, but well done on your scholarships etc. Where are you off to (if you don't mind me asking)? | |
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05-04-2008, 04:01 PM
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#68 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: MA Gender: Male
Threads: 18
Posts: 166
| hey, I would like to read it, could you PM me? | |
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05-04-2008, 04:02 PM
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#69 | | Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Threads: 13
Posts: 317
| Pm It To Me Too | |
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05-04-2008, 04:17 PM
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#70 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Threads: 12
Posts: 84
| i want to read it too.
PM it please. :] | |
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05-04-2008, 05:35 PM
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#71 | | New Member
Join Date: May 2008 Gender: Female
Threads: 0
Posts: 23
| "trabia, i submitted it to several of my teachers, and they said something like if i used "as if" in the beginning, then it turns into 'were' rather than 'was'."
yeah i meant that "were" is the subjunctive and it's right.. =P i was just quoting the other person at the beginning.. | |
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05-05-2008, 01:19 AM
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#72 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Threads: 14
Posts: 116
| i would like to read it .. PM me | |
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05-05-2008, 06:47 AM
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#73 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Female
Threads: 1
Posts: 102
| To everyone who keeps asking to PM, go to half-way down Page 4. Please. | |
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05-09-2008, 07:47 PM
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#74 | | New Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Threads: 0
Posts: 4
| Hi Id like to read it. pm me | |
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05-10-2008, 12:54 AM
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#75 | | Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Threads: 49
Posts: 351
| id like to read it too. | |
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