galoisien

That's not quite literally I've been writing for some of my "why School X?" essays, but I wonder if I have been coming off as a bit cold or arrogant unintentionally.

Basically, for the generic "how does School X fit with your goals?" question, I've been giving a little backstory (childhood experiences with diglossia, etc.) about what interested into my chosen majors (linguistics/cognitive science, bioengineering/biochemistry etc.) then outlining a research plan.

I've written things like, "I have been suspecting that a creole-based dialect continuum exists runs Singapore to Northern Malaysia. Within the next four years, I wish to complete a create a comprehensive survey that will analyse geographical, historical and sociolinguistic variation in English-related dialects spoken in the area from Singapore to Northern Malaysia; my sociolinguistic analysis will include analysis of variation by class, age and self-identified ethnicity. From my searches at Google Scholar, it seems that no one has ever attempted using isogloss analysis or memetic theory to analyse the variation in the English-related dialects and creoles spoken in the region, and I hope to employ both tools in my analysis. School X's resources in linguistics will greatly assist me in achieving my desired plan." In one of the preceding paragraphs, I might have outlined my idea for a more precise memetic model of language change, using the existing concept of "infection," but introducing a new idea of my own, "concept eligibility," that would especially give greater insight into the issue of why some sound changes are regular while some are not.

I tend to be a bit more specific in detailing School X's "assistance" of course -- for Georgetown, I named their Linguistics Round Table (though I just realised I have a major truncation in the sentence before that I didn't catch[!]). For Penn, I named several professors who would be of great assistance, e.g. William Labov, the founding pioneer of sociolinguistics, and Mark Liberman, one of the major bloggers from "Language Log," because "I love his dry wit," and most importantly, his sharp observation skills I've witnessed him exhibit on Language Log that would help me catch the variation I was looking for. For some other schools, I didn't genuinely know (about) any of the professors but noted their existing research areas.

How well does this strategy work? Basically it tends to be 80% about me and 20% about the school. Except for a few schools, I've barely noted anything about the environment (save the peers, etc.), the lifestyle or whatever. Does it come off as too arrogant/self-centred?

alethiometer

It seems a bit more geared toward grad school rather than undergrad, but I suppose it could work. I definitely think the parts about the school's attributes in your desired area of studies help. You say that it's currently 80% about you, and 20% about the school - I would try to talk about the school a bit more and not go into so much detail about your desired thesis. Have you sat in on any classes at these colleges? Details that show that you have visited the college and interacted with the college and the people there are always good.

galoisien

Sadly, no -- I applied to all of my schools on waiver, so I hardly have had the financial resources to make physical visits!