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05-20-2008, 12:18 AM
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#1 | | New Member
Join Date: May 2008
Threads: 4
Posts: 15
| Something is wrong with the UCLA admissions process
A friend of mine wrote his personal statement on the day of the deadline for applying to UC's. He had several grammatical errors and the essay structure was extremely inconsistent (sorry I'm an English major so these things bug me), and yet he was accepted to UCLA. Anyone who reads his piece of work can see that there wasn't much thought given to structure or grammar. He even admitted that it was not the best. He said I can post his essay so I'm taking advantage of that.
Here are some examples of grammatical and structural errors from his essay:
"I am glad that my parent’s have separated." - Improper use of apostrophe
"Certainly not at the time of the divorce however, now that everything is stable in my life I look back and realize that I would not have grown as rapidly into the person I am today if they did not." - Run-on sentence
"I made many good friends who I would not have approached, due to their socioeconomic status, if my parents did not separate." - You can figure out what's wrong with this one
If you'd like to read the entire essay, I can send it to you or post it.
Anyway I don't know, maybe I'm just being a stickler because I'm an English major, but don't you think the UCLA admissions officers would've caught on to how poorly and carelessly written his essay was?
I'm starting to wonder what's going on in the heads of these admissions officers. What do you think? | 
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05-20-2008, 12:26 AM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: N. California
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,864
| "If you'd like to read the entire essay, I can send it to you or post it."
Why are you spending time on this? Why would anyone else want to? | |
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05-20-2008, 01:38 AM
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#3 | | New Member
Join Date: May 2008
Threads: 4
Posts: 15
| If you're not interested then why are you spending time replying to my post?
Wow.. | |
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05-20-2008, 10:44 AM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: N. California
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,864
| Good question... hmmm. | |
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05-20-2008, 11:57 AM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: N. California
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,864
| Ok, I'm back. Here's my answer.I was interested in your post because my D applied to 15 schools, including UCLA and Cal, and UCLA was the only one she didn't get into. At the time ( was it two months ago?), "we" were surprised, then angry, now curious. I am sure foks, including you, might have their opinions about that. Whatever. So when I saw your post, I took a look. When I read it, my first response was "why would I want to spend time reading some essay? thus, my question to you. I don't uisually post "mean" things, and I suppose that was "mean", so I have to ask myself why I did that. I think it's because in the cycle of "CC" life, it seems folks have moved on ( well maybe not people transferri More importantly though, it seemed mean spirited for you to focus on criticisizing someone's essay, and to offer to post it on a public forum. And finally, I was dissappointed, becasue I expected something more helpful, that reflected the comp[lexity of the UCLA admissions process. Of course you are free to ignore my question, but .... | |
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05-20-2008, 06:20 PM
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#6 | | New Member
Join Date: May 2008
Threads: 4
Posts: 15
| Sorry, I suppose my post was "mean" too. I'm just a little bitter about the whole UCLA admissions process and also somewhat confused. The title of my post is somewhat misleading too. I wish I could edit/delete it but I'm new to this website and I'm still trying to figure things out.
Anyway I thought someone might be interested in reading an essay of a student who was admitted to UCLA that wasn't exactly "top-quality", just as a reference. I guess I'm just a bitter English major who feels like the UCLA admissions officers won't appreciate a well-structured personal statement. I'm just confused on the whole thing. Anyway, sorry for misleading you | |
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05-20-2008, 09:46 PM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Threads: 82
Posts: 1,605
| To get back to the original question, it's possible that while a good essay can help, a poor (but still within reason) essay won't hurt, or won't hurt much. I also wonder whether the process at a large public school like UCLA is mainly numbers-driven; if the numbers are there, the essay may not even get read or read with much concern. | |
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05-20-2008, 10:27 PM
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#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: N. California
Threads: 39
Posts: 1,864
| "I also wonder whether the process at a large public school like UCLA is mainly numbers-driven; if the numbers are there, the essay may not even get read or read with much concern."
I think if you go back several weeks, you will find threads that suggest it's way more convoluted then numbers and/or essay. Many people with the numbers got rejected, and many with extracurriculars, and admissions to great schools were turned away as well. I'm sure there was a method for such hotly contested "spots", but it seems to go way beyond numbers and essays. | |
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