wenger402

I know its very early, but i was thinking about my app essay for HS class of 2010. (applying this fall)

Colleges often want you to discuss a hardship you faced, although I dont want to make them feel sympathetic or I dont even know if this is a hardship at all...

Well I was considering writing about how my father was an abusive alcoholic, he divorced my mom, and we endured financial as well as familial struggle during my HS years, (i had to get a job) although I was still able to be successful. My community supported me and I gave back, etc...

Do you think i should write about this, will it distinguish me? Or will it sound like I am just trying to make the colleges sympathize for me, I don't know, please help

wenger402

bump 10 char

wenger402

bump 10 char1

wenger402

bump 10caar

wenger402

bump again

wenger402

*************

confused_vnese

Everybody's probably busy dealing with admission results. And you don't have to bump your thread every few minutes. We see it.

Yes you should write about it. You still have a lot of time before the application deadline so you can change it up as many times as need be until its perfect. The catch is that this kind of essays often degenerates into some boring, cliched, tear-jerker-wannabe mess after the first few paragraphs (when you described the hardship - i'm assuming yours is gonna be quite something). Or sometimes the writer is overly ambitious and tries to cramp too many things in 500 words and in the end, the reader is left confused and not impressed by any thing. So just avoid that and you'll be fine.

eddylee09

Whoa! Calm down with the bumping there!

I think that topic could be a very good one, if you can wrap it up well though.

I would keep that as an idea but right now, you should just be jotting down ideas and outlines to make awesome and unique if anything.

Hope this helps.

Don't stress too much! Just try to be new and fresh.

Mom4X

Make sure the essay is about YOU, not about the story of your dad, your mom, or your family. YOU were presented with a hardship. What did it teach YOU, not what happened. Give the result of the hardship as it related to a change in you, not the details of the hardship itself. Be brief on that part. They really do not need to read about the day you walked in on your dad beating up your mom, but rather how you immersed yourself in school and found a support group there, or how it affected your views on drinking as a teen ager, your view on manhood, or how work was your salvation, etc. Also, lots of teens work, and colleges like that, so bemoaning the fact that you HAD to get a job is not the route to take.

ivydreamin

Read the tips written by a prof at UVA, Dr. Parke Muth is his name, I think.

He said that the first sentence has to grab the reader and the rest has to keep his attention.

He gave an example of an essay that started, "In the beginning, it was the coughing at night.' The essay was on a death from lung cancer.

Mathewlr

There's nothing wrong with writing this essay but don't let this one topic box you in. And by that I mean make sure you can write more essays about different topics. That way if in the end you don't like this particular essay you'll have another to use.

This can definitely be a great essay it's just up to you to make it

Ilyzak

Like what everyone else said, try to start your essay with an anecdote with some dialogue, through that you can summarize an event between your father and mother. From there on, talk ONLY about yourself, and what you learned from that event. Avoid the "I faced an obstacle and this is how I overcame it" cliche. This type of essay will be shredded on sight (lol). Keep it nice and original, and try not to stress over whether you will sound different or not. I stressed over whether my essay was going to be different so much that anything I wrote I hated. Once I learned to stop thinking about comparing myself to other essays, I managed to write something unique only to myself. If you can overcome stressors and horrible cliches, the you will shine. But remember...EDIT EDIT EDIT!!! And also think about how you sound, and how you come across. Ask random people what they think of your paper, and base your edits on some of their reactions. Make sure your grammer and punctuation is almost perfect. Admissions officers will notice if your essay is impeccably written Good luck in your writing, and TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED! DON'T RUSH AND IT'S GREAT THAT YOU'RE STARTING NOW!