AliBubble

I'm applying for a program that allows me to take college courses my senior year at a nearby (pretty selective) college. The thing about it is that if I'm accepted, I can turn around and turn it into an application for college in my senior year, so I'm taking it seriously, but it's still more of a practice run. Anyways, the idea:


I wanted to kind of reference the college in some way so I think I want to talk about when I came to the school to watch Barack Obama speak in the primary (with a fever of 104. I should've been in the hospital. =)) That would just sort of serve as in an intro/transition to an essay about personal motivation, and what I want to accomplish with my life. I know the "Obama" thing has probably been beaten to death, but the essay wouldn't really be about "him" specifically.

Tell me what you think.

AliBubble

And my intended area of study is PoliSci, so it kind of ties together.

anglophilia

Well when I hear you went to school with a 104 fever, that just sounds irresponsible, as you could have made yourself get worse not to mention infecting your classmates.

AliBubble

I didn't go to school with a 104 fever.

I went to the Obama rally. Which was at the college I'm applying to. Once in a lifetime experience that I wasn't going to pass up.

bsmdncechick23

You could possibly make this work but make sure it focuses on something about you and your personality...not just on Barack Obama or the fact that you went to see him with a fever-- that doesn't say much about you as a person.

There's most likely something else better you could focus on in your essay, but you could definitely mention this or, like you said, use it as a minor lead-in. Also, it's a good idea to stay away from what you want to accomplish in the future...anyone can write about curing cancer, becoming president (just using as examples) etc., but writing about what you've already done or experienced gives admissions staff a better idea of who you are.

AliBubble

Thanks for the suggestions. I definitely mean to make it focus on my personality rather than just saying "I Like Barack Obama". It's supposed to show my passion for politics, and the rest of the essay might talk about my motivation for choosing this path which will bring up past experiences.

I should probably just write it and see if it ends up being any good.

bsmdncechick23

I'm sure it'll turn out well. And if it's not as good as you like, it's always easier to start tweaking when you have a good base of some sort.

Good luck!

AliBubble

I changed my mind and wrote about my experience as an exchange student in Japan. It was easier to write about.