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Old 04-08-2009, 07:25 PM   #1
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An essay on Freedom

Not too long ago, an inquisitive man encountered another man, an American seemingly devoid of melancholy; the Inquisitor asked of the American, “What philosophy governs you in such a way that you are discernibly free from all sects of tyranny, and by what means do you remain joyous?” Excited by the question, the American invited the Inquisitor to sit and compelled him to converse over the virtues of the philosophical values that governed his freedom from tyranny, thus propagating his joy. The American explained that freedom is a right to justice. He, assuredly, asked the inquisitor, before he continued his dissertation on freedom, “From what place in the world do you come?” The inquisitor replied, “I come from a small place dominated by a king that ruthlessly rules without mercy under the authority of God.” Shocked by the Inquisitor’s response, the American espoused that he was free because of a social contract that exists between the governed individuals of that Union and the ruling politic of his country. In other words, the American asserted, he was free because of the existence of a contractually binding document called the Constitution. Ignorant to the nature of a Constitution, the Inquisitor replies, “How could a signature on a piece of paper ensure that all of your brethren will remain as free as you? Are all citizens of your Union required to read, digest, understand, and then sign that Constitution? If not, how then do you justify holding a people contractually accountable to the contents therein?” Feeling exceptionally pious in the eyes of this ignorant man, the American says that the Constitution is binding because of the very nature of the individuals that adhere to its fundamental, self-evident truths; furthermore, it does not require the signature of all of the inhabitants of its referenced Union. Quizzically, the Inquisitor asks, “By what nature do you find any truths self-evident, and by what definition do you declare them applicable to all of your brethren?” The American replies, “The Constitution guarantees the protection of the notion that all men are created equal, in the eyes of the law; all men being of the creation of some object of Divinity, are guaranteed Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness which is afforded them through the culpability of justice.” The American intrigues the Inquisitor, and gives cause to the Inquisitor as the promise of the American’s Constitution does for all citizens of that consummated Union and the bountiful fruits they mutually bear.

this is not the essay in its entirety. I would appreciate it if someone would just run over this and give me an honest opinion.
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Old 04-08-2009, 08:30 PM   #2
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well post the whole essay..? all i see is a tirade of big words, a build up to something i am beginning to think will be a funny punch line, or a very cool quote or explanation of freedom..
i doubt anyone can tell if its good or not without the rest..

BUT -

you make it interesting, imo, but it just kind of feels like a big run-on thing.. maybe structure it a bit more effeciently? maybe make the 'talking' parts easier to read/discern from the rest? + minor editing to make it more fluent and word choice maybe, but that is ofc up to you

all in all, i find it very intriguing because i really really want to see how it ends and i got kinda pi.s.sed at you for not posting the entire thing haha so i guess it works! :P at least it hooked me, and despite the sort of annoying format(most likely due to CC) i read on

well done! NOW POST THE REST!
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Old 04-09-2009, 01:08 PM   #3
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well, i could pm it to you...i am glad that it got your attention. If you want i could either pm/email it to you...it's not really an essay, it's more of a treatise . . . an is approximately 10 pages in length.

so if you want to read it, i'm more than happy to have you once over it and give me some criticle feedback.
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Old 04-10-2009, 02:42 AM   #4
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sure pm it over but 10 pages? for what school is this?
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