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Old 11-01-2009, 04:14 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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past two summers essay

Can someone read this and give me comments?
:]
Please and thank you

- - -
Unlike most students, I knew after finals, I packed my bags and hopped onto a plane headed to Vietnam for summer of 2008. I had not decided nor did I want to go to Vietnam, but eventually, my relatives were able to convince my parents in letting me go. My parents knew that I did not want to go, but they wanted me to experience their native country and realize how “fortunate” I am to be in the United States. On the long flight across the Pacific Ocean, I sat beside my grandma and uncle. As I waited for the landing, I thought to myself, maybe this would not be as bad as I thought it would to be. Yet, when I arrived, I watched my grandma and uncle receive warm greetings from my relatives, while I was given cold stares. I told myself that maybe it was because they had never met me before, but after trying to be the “nice” girl, I soon realized that my relatives did not like me. Whenever they saw me, they would stare, look down, and then sigh. To them, I was a spoiled, ungrateful, American raised girl. I ended up being left out of family outings, and isolated at my relatives' house. It was one of the worse summers of my life and I counted the days to when I would return back to my beloved California. As I came back to the United States I vowed that the summer of 2009 would be “my summer.”
In the winter of 2008, I spent a lot of time researching summer programs and decided to take the chance and apply to Harvard University’s Summer School. Since I had already heard many interesting stories and experiences about Harvard from alumnus, I thought that it would be a great opportunity and learning experience. Though I was skeptical as to if I would be accepted into the program, I had a strong desire to participate in it.
Not soon after I applied, I received the acceptance letter, it was such a privilege to be admitted into one of the most prestigious schools in the country. Before I knew it, I started my 7 weeks at Harvard. When I was there, I studied Law and Psychology, and 20th Century: Modernism to Post-Modernism Literature. Attending the summer school allowed me access to all the university resources, from being taught by top-notch professors to experiencing the independence and atmosphere of a college life style. Everything was overwhelming and intimidating at first because the academics were rigorous. You were not required to do the assignments, but expected to. It was a challenging knowing that I only had two grades(Law and Psychology) in one, while the other three in one (20th Century: Modernism to Post-Modernism Literature). Although everything seemed to be slightly overwhelming, I was able to participate in intellectual discussions and meet people from all around the world. I found it fascinating how the people spoke. The way they spoke automatically gave a sense of how different, yet similar we were to one another. Despite my difficulties adjusting to the college life, I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of it.
Throughout the time I was there, I created goals for myself to achieve. My main goal was to find my voice and make use of it. I was missing out on having a voice. I wanted to say things to people around me, but I was too hesitant and afraid. I was getting tired of not being able to say things that were on my mind making me somewhat invisible, I wanted this to change. As my classes started to progress I started slowly started beginning to speak up and voice my ideas, questions, and observations to other people. When I spoke it was hard to especially since one of my classes consisting of undergraduates and graduate students, while the other had about 300 students. I slowly raised my hand as my knees were shacking, I said what I thought about the topic, afterwards I felt a sense of relief and accomplishment. I have always been the quiet girl with nothing to say always sitting the back corner of the class hiding behind a book observing everything around me. This change has transformed me into someone confident and it has given me more faith in myself.
Empahis/bigger words
Being at Harvard allowed me to meet more people and learn a great deal about myself, my goals in life, my dreams for the future, and most importantly, my identity: who I want to be in this world. Before, I had been puzzled by which colleges I wanted to attend, major choices, and everything in life. Now I have learned that I need take little steps in getting to my goals while enjoying the ride. I had the time of my life during the summer of '09. It was completely incomparable to my previous summers. This summer program has put all my previous summers to shame.
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Old 11-01-2009, 04:28 PM   #2
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Just so you know, it's a VERY bad idea to simply display your essay on the forum, since absolutely anyone can take the whole thing or pieces. Hopefully either you or a mod will remove it....
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Old 11-01-2009, 05:14 PM   #3
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I stopped after the first sentence because it is clear to me that you need to first self-edit this.
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Old 11-02-2009, 12:45 AM   #4
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How do I remove it?
I don't know how.
Help?
D:
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Old 11-03-2009, 03:55 PM   #5
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I would either PM a moderator (find one by searching through the forums), or just leave it be and edit it like crazy (it kind of needs it anyway -- it's fairly unclear, ~300 words too long, and simply doesn't do what it needs to: being Veitnamese, you're a highly over-represnted minority, so your essays should be spectacular. By the time you get to your final product, your essay probably won't even look close to this)

Just be wary in the future
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