HOW to ask girls out in college???(New Edition)

sammywu · 10-17-2004, 10:53 AM

yeahhhhhhh, it is my first post at the new forum!!!

I felt that I should continue this thread. Let's ppl to update "their progress." lol

Anyway, right now, I am REALLY into a girl I met at a student org (she is the vice-president). I mean, she is EXACTLY the type of girl I am looking for. I would not regret that if she is the only girl I have in my entire life. And maybe I sound like I am driven crazy. But I am serious. There are many times I am attracted by girls but I never make any move. This time is different, and I have never felt this way b4. I am attracted not only her beauty but also her personality as well as her intelligence.

I mean, a girl has all three: intelligence, beauty, great personality, really kills me.

Because I had emailed her to ask about events hold by the student org. She knows me. And just until yesterday, I emailed her and ask her IM address. I simply just said I'd to meet more ppl and make more firends in my freshman yr. And I got her IM address today.

She is gonna to be in my MSN's contact list. I FEEL DAMN PROUD ABOUT MYSELF.

I mean, I have alway been a shy guy for my entire life. But I really don't want to on pass this chance. What should I do next?

Thanks a LOT!!!

p.s. sorry about the long post

neobez · 10-17-2004, 11:34 AM

emailing her isn't much if you ask me. You have to talk to her in person.

And saying things about how she is the "one" already will not do you any good, it will only make it harder to talk to her. Not spending significant time with her and saying these things is really not a good sign. Try to refrain from giving her these heavenly titles until you get to know her a little. . .on your own, not by what you see when she's talking to a group of people. I'm sorry, but saying she is the only girl you'd want to spend your life with when you're only getting her IM now isn't a healthy thing to say at all. I'm being honest with you, just go at it gradually without making her to be this grandiose figure. You can't know if she's perfect until you get to spend significant time with her. . .alone. Make a conscious effort to stop things like that.

But that's my opinion, and I've had little to no success with girls, so take it as you will.

glowingamy · 10-17-2004, 11:41 AM

I agree with neobez; don't trust these little image projections you get. It doesn't matter how smart or nice or pretty a girl is if you don't work well together. I know a lot of guys who are smart nice good looking and even though when speaking I am thinking, "Oh my god! I'm talking to this person! Oh my god!11!!111" I would never want to "make a move" because well aside from me being a girl, fundamentally we are extremely different. First find out if you have much in common, good luck with that :)

destinypath · 10-17-2004, 11:48 AM

Yeah, they're right. While I *am* glad you're a shy guy just stepping out, don't let the whole thing take you over. Don't ascribe "angelic-ness" to this girl until you really know her. And one huuuuge don't: don't tell her, especially at this stage, that you think she might be "the one" for you. That is a huge turn-off to girls when we barely know a guy and he's suddenly all over us. So play it slow, be patient. It will work out, have faith!

anovice · 10-17-2004, 11:56 AM

I agree with others about not acting(or being) too into a girl without *really* knowing her. There is this kids who adored me, talked to all my friends about me, says how much he thinks I'm perfect for him, and then one day he asks me out: I tell him that he's a little too infatuated with me and that he needs to step back and rethink his actions...and I said just like that. He was crushed(for a while), but now we're cool with eachother and even go out every once and a while as friends. Also, I always think its easier to get to know people in a group setting before being alone together... Also, go somewhere fun to start... like a festival or something, not a private dinner.

sammywu · 10-17-2004, 12:37 PM

yeah, u ppl r really right,

After reading u ppl's posts, and step back to think a little.
Now I realized that I got too excited this morning, I shouldn't think she is "the one" b4 really knowing her.

And thanks for the input!!!

Xanatos · 10-17-2004, 01:14 PM

Sammy, this might be a strange thing for me to say, but are you sure that she doesn't read this forum? Assuming that you are using your real name for your username (which it kinda looks like you are), it might be a bit awkward if she happens to stumble onto this little thread you have here.

destinypath · 10-17-2004, 09:18 PM

Hah, let's just hope that doesn't happen.

athlonmj · 10-17-2004, 09:23 PM

actually, that would be hilarious :-P

aim78 · 10-17-2004, 10:01 PM

Face to face is the only way to know. Reactions are everything.

Akino · 10-17-2004, 10:07 PM

A crush can be a terrible experience if you let it sit. It'll eat you alive. I've always taken the approach of just conveniently positioning myself to end up in conversations with whoever it is. Eventually, I figure out whether it's a bad idea or not to ask her out. As a rule of thumb, if you can't talk to your crush it usually means that the two of you aren't compatible. If you find yourself struggling to make conversation, cut your losses short and get out of there. It's really tough to accept, but crushes will fade with time.

sammywu · 10-17-2004, 10:38 PM

sammywu is not my real name

sanyo · 10-18-2004, 04:26 AM

nice cover

jangel86 · 10-18-2004, 09:09 AM

Ok, from a girl's perspective..... Don't be too obsessive, because it will show. Don't change your schedule around so you have the same classes. She will notice. Emailing could work if you actually have something to email her about, and you got her email by asking her or something (not stalking her to find out). And don't automatically assume that she likes you because she talks to you. It seems like I've gotten asked out by every guy I've talked to this year.

welshie · 10-18-2004, 10:42 AM

Then by the same token, what "signs" does a girl give to show a guy she likes him?