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Why am I so quiet?

firaxfirax Posts: 204Registered User Junior Member
edited April 2009 in College Life
I don't understand... if I am able to ask myself this question and acknowledge that I am quiet... why can't I change!!? I'm so angry at myself. I'm FAILING to be the person I want to be. *cries*
Post edited by firax on
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Replies to: Why am I so quiet?

  • xXPhoenixFireXxxXPhoenixFireXx Posts: 74Registered User Junior Member
    What's wrong with being quiet?

    Anyway, maybe you just haven found anyone worth talking to. I was a quiet floater for half of my freshman year till I found a few people I could talk to.
  • NorthstarmomNorthstarmom Posts: 24,853Registered User Senior Member
    If your concern is the fact that you're shy, try checking out the shyness.com page. Shyness actually is a fairly easy problem to end. You also may find help from some self help books. If you check out your bookstore or check on-line, you even can find info about how to make small talk.
  • baffledgenius89baffledgenius89 Posts: 221Registered User Junior Member
    some people are just quiet by nature, absolutely nothing wrong with that. if you trully feel it's hindering your ability's to be the person youi strive to be though, you can always change it. practice talking to your friends more often, or trying to dominant conversations for a while. you could always read self help books concerning the subject, however i think they're ratehr worthless, if you want to change, then do it. don't rely on someone else to tell you whats wrong with you or what they think. change comes from within, not from us. but best of luck
  • trasi86trasi86 Posts: 177Registered User Junior Member
    I think it's all about practice. I was quiet and awkward in the beginning of high school, but then got a volunteer position where I was required to talk to a lot of strangers. It was hard, and I felt embarrassed and frustrated a lot at first, but then it got a lot easier. You'll feel horrible and probably make an idiot of yourself a few times, but try putting yourself in social situations where you're *slightly* uncomfortable - talking to people you don't usually talk to or accepting an invitation to somewhere you usually don't go.
  • fromdusktodawnfromdusktodawn Posts: 25Registered User New Member
    I don't know how to help but I can totally relate to what you are saying. It can be really painful to not be able to say what you want to say, or not to be able to speak up ever. Keep trying and keep putting your self in positions where you have to speak and it will get easier. My job helps a lot because I have to call the companies we buy products from to ask questions and I have to talk to co workers and clients too. For me if its just social for fun I can hide from interaction but at work...well I want to keep my job.
  • Chrisr88Chrisr88 Posts: 339Registered User Member
    I was unbelievably quiet and soft spoken for my entire life....until about last year. For me Air Force JROTC was what opened me up. I learned to be assertive and even arrogant at times. In my eyes it's better to look cocky to people than to look underconfident.

    Now I'm like that wherever I go...pretending to be confident even when I'm not. Swearing among other things around friends eases me through...not the best advice but it works for me and I'm generally accepted among others.
  • adconardadconard Posts: 803Registered User Member
    Yeah man I've been going through the same thing for so long. It's like I never know what to talk about with people. It's so bad that I'm even shy with relatives. We were eating a meal for Christmas day together and I could barely say a word. I just listened the whole time and hoped they would never put me on the spot. It's even worse around people my age though. I think it's just that I have very different interests from most people my age and therefore I feel like I never have anything to say to them. I think one thing you could do (and what I have been doing) is to just expand your interests and hobbies so that you have a broader scope of topics to choose from. This could be a good opportunity to figure out what your true interests are in life.
  • cherrybarrycherrybarry Posts: 918Registered User Member
    Yeah I sorta have that problem too, mainly b/c I'm not that in tune with pop culture and my interests are kinda weird. If everyone is talking about Simpsons or Family Guy, I don't know what to say, but if we're talking about trance music, then hell yeah, I'd dominate that convo everytime lol.
  • NorthstarmomNorthstarmom Posts: 24,853Registered User Senior Member
    Just mentioning that the things that I suggested in my earlier post are things that worked for me in overcoming the shyness that I had until adulthood. It's fine to be a quiet person and happy with oneself, but if one longs to talk, but doesn't know what to say, being quiet is a miserable experience.
  • adconardadconard Posts: 803Registered User Member
    Haha yeah trance music > all. =P

    That's exactly what it is though sometimes. I love computers, philosophy, trance music, video games that most people don't play, writing, reading more philosophy, and other obscure and random interests that most people never even touch on. So what's a guy like me gonna say? I'm better off not hanging out with "normal" people sometimes simply because I feel like I will get nothing out of it (as bad as it sounds it's true to me).
  • cherrybarrycherrybarry Posts: 918Registered User Member
    haha adconard, I feel the same. Everyone's always talking about Coldplay, Jack Johnson, 50 cent, etc...
    but for me, it's Armin van Buuren, Paul van Dyk, Ferry Corsten, etc. lol.
  • tarau2tarau2 Posts: 42Registered User Junior Member
    hey
    your quiet by nature. what's wrong with that? if you're really intent on changing that, start speech and debate. there you have to talk in front of a lot of people, state your cases, etc. do a drama club. but hey, being quiet isnt bad. i guess i cant talk, ive NEVER been quiet in my life.
  • movinmommovinmom Posts: 421Registered User Member
    Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. If you ask questions, extroverts feel like they are connecting with you and at the same time you learn a lot more about the person so you may be able to contribute as well. It does take practice and getting out of your comfort zone. Usually people who are shy are also good listeners and that is appreciated more than you think - you can show you are a good listener by following up with questions.
  • hopkinslaxhopkinslax Posts: 893Registered User Member
    firax, i share your feelings as I am extremely quiet as well and my quietness really hurts me in my social life....
    I've always dreamed of going out on a date with the girl of my dreams, however I can never approach her in real life because I am so shy
    However I have to admit that this year (my first year in college), I promised myself I would open myself up and I did and as a result I have more friends now who appreciate me than I did in my whole high school life... I am still trying to open myself up to the opposite sex though. It's so hard! (I think the reason for my shyness is fear of rejection) However my uncle said that I won't find out if I get rejected or not until I actually try!
  • sweetdreamsweetdream Posts: 783Registered User Member
    I have the same problem and I don't think that there is anything wrong with it. I did try to change but I found it to be difficult especially walking up to strangers or even people I don't like and start talking to them. What the purpose in that? Although sometimes I wonder what other people thinks about me. I hope that they don't think I'm too arrogant that I don't talk to them.
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