PatheticHopeFul

I'm not anti-social and I have made plenty of friends in high school--just not close ones. Now I'm a nice, smart girl. I'm slightly introverted but that's because I'm more of a deep thinker than a loud speaker in public. I'll be attending a top LAC this year and my issue is that I kill conversations; i.e. I can't hold one for more than 15 seconds. Here, I'll show you an example of one of my many conversations with friends:

Friend: Hey, how've you been!

Me: Good. You?

Friend: Pretty Good.

Me: Ok.

Lame, I know. And these are people that I've known for almost everyday for two years (though sports). I used to be a bit of a loner, I've branched out since then and many people in school knew me. I just can't hold a conversation to save my life. Most of the times I just don't know what to say or how to act. I don't want to get to personal so I ask generic questions but that seems to just make the situation more awkward. I don't want this type of behavior to follow me to college. How do I change it?

please and thank you

TitoMorito

Friend: Pretty good.

Me: So, what's new with you?

It works pretty well for me, since it opens onto a topic I can then ask questions about/comment on.

alexissss

Bump.

I'm the same way.

spectastic

friend: oh nothing, you?

me: not much...


lol. i hate those awkward conversations.

TitoMorito

That's where you go off and do something you can talk about later, instead of standing around being awkward. Or, if you share any classes or anything in common, you bring it up: "So, what about that math test? I don't think I did so well..." Sometimes you need to put in the effort to come up with topics that are of mutual interest, instead of always relying on the other person to do so.

santookie

Hmmm make observations that aren't critical of people. Then just elaborate.

You: Hi, you have some really neat looking glasses. The design is very awesome.

Stranger: Thanks, I got them at blahblah.

sopranokitty

my roommates and I were like that when we first met each other, but over time, as we got more comfortable around each other, our conversations got longer and more random. Basically, the more comfortable you are around someone, the longer your conversations will become.

summerchica

^ i agree.. as you get more comfortable with them you talk about anything and everything

invader71

Well when you get to college it is really easy to meet people especially in the first few weeks as a freshman. There are a bunch of questions you can ask that work for just about talking to anyone on campus. Some examples are: Where are you from?( you will meet people from all over the country even from abroad). What are you majoring in?(you may have similar majors or find someone doing something cool like pupperty) What dorm do you live in or do you commute?(make sure not to be creepy when saying this). What classes are you taking this semester(you may find they are in one of your 200 kid lecture class). Just ask them what their interests and I am sure you are bound to find something you can talk about in great detail.

Islander4

Don't be afraid to ask simple questions. You don't have to interrogate the person, but just try to get a continuous dialogue from that question. Also, don't be afraid to say hello to someone if you see them again. Connection is very important.

Keep in mind that not everyone you meet will connect with you though. Americans are pretty notorious for being friendly to strangers but not actually connecting on a level that could lead to friendship.

marcdvl

Try answering with a short response followed by a question. This makes the person you're talking to do most of the talking, while you are still being an active participant.

Bound4aCollege

I am totally extroverted, but my best friend is exactly like you and we get along just fine! The main thing is that when you're talking to someone, just smile a lot! Instantly, their view of you is that you're a cheerful, happy kind of person and fun to be around! They'll want to keep talking to you and it won't b awkward, but obviously, don't just stand there smiling and saying nothing. Ask questions, even if you don't really care (which is terrible), but they'll think u do... Talk bout the weather for petes sake! lol that's how friendships get started!!

fumafoo101

I am just like you. I have hard time starting off conversations in lecture, or lab but I try my best when someone speaks to me. For instance I had a girl ask me about a case study the other day and it turned into a 15 minute conversation about how we both need more direction from the TA. It continued into lab, and we both got the whole group talking. My lab only has 13 students, and our group consist of 6. Since that lab was so great in helping me learn, and memorize in a fun way, I am thinking of asking if some of them want to meet up during our long 4 hr break.

Like other posters suggested ask questions when silence comes about if possible. If you don't the other person might have questions for you as well. Worse comes to worse you both have nothing else to say to each other. At least you know they are approachable in the future if you have any questions, or are looking to talk to someone.

swattiechick

Ask people questions about themselves. That is the best way to get conversations going.

MyPaperBleedsInk

Sounds just like me. I tend to think to myself often, so apparently I'm not that approachable, so any conversations I do end up having I have to put in some work to keep them going.
Things you can ask/talk about ~~
Classes. Do they share one with you where you could ask how they're doing or discuss how difficult an assignment/test was? Or maybe you could just ask about their major and classes they're involved in and then talk about your own.
Current Events. Something big going on whether it be on campus, national-news, or world wide? Maybe they've heard about it too and care to share their opinion on it.
Activities. Are you both in the same club/sport? You may want to ask what they think about it, or how long they've been involved. If not, you can always just ask what clubs or sports they ARE in, and what they think about them just in case you wish to join. Are there any on campus events/speakers that they went to or are going to? Discuss that, and why you may or may not go.
Just on those three topics alone, I managed to have at least an hour or two conversation with this girl I had just met and didn't really feel comfortable with at that time. Eventually it led to having a more friendly relationship.