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Sad at School :(

jonahyonajonahyona Posts: 16Registered User New Member
edited August 2012 in College Life
Today is my first day at La Salle University in Philadelphia. It's been a rough day for me. I haven't met anyone. I said hi to a few people but none of it lead to anything further. I look around me and see all these people in groups and having a good time. It also seems I don't fit in here. I've seen many many jocks and my hall is compromised of jocks. As usual, I'm the odd egg out. It seems things have always been that way. I don't know if I'll ever make any friends here. I've had this issue in the past (I left my previous college after one semester because I was miserable there and too far from home.) I can't leave another school, I won't leave. I need an education. I've signed up for some community service and a trip to South Street (probably gonna be awkward and I'll walk by myself.) Clubs don't start for another week. If I don't meet anyone there then I don't know what I'll do. I just hope things get better. I hate staying in my room and crying because I feel so sorry/disappointed in myself.
Post edited by jonahyona on

Replies to: Sad at School :(

  • joemarle25joemarle25 Posts: 7Registered User New Member
    Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. I can promise you things will work out in the end. Stick in there. You're bound to find a friend. :)

    Sent from my PC36100 using CC
  • KatMTKatMT Posts: 3,433College Rep Senior Member
    Transitions are always difficult. We moved a lot when I was a kid, and each new situation took time to adjust to.

    Signing up for community service and a trip is a great step to meeting people. I think it gets a little easier as we get older, but throughout life most everyone is insecure when meeting new people, some are just better at masking it than others.

    Things I learned moving a lot and starting many new schools and jobs (I work in the performing arts field, so lots of jobs... :-))... assume that people want to make a new friend... be friendly and interested in what others are doing... ask questions to get to know others... don't expect to make "best friends" quickly, this takes time. Find like minded people by participating in activities that you enjoy. Don't necessarily expect your roommate and/or floormates to become your "people." Try not to be too discouraged if it takes time to find your place and the people you want to spend time with. It is 100% normal to feel lonely and out of place when you start somewhere new.

    If you feel you are having a hard time adjusting to your new environment do not hesitate to visit your campus counseling center. They can help you put things in context, develop strategies, and it always helps to have someone to talk to and help sort things out.

    All the best and sending good vibes to help carry you through this "next big step!"

    Hang in!

    Sent from my DROID RAZR using CC
  • invader71invader71 Posts: 1,502Registered User Senior Member
    Do not worry hang in there you just started and will make some friends as time goes on. Do you have a roommate by any chance or are you in a single? I know going into school last year as a Freshman as an oos student knowing only one person was tough but I was lucky enough to have a roommate that clicked really well with me and we both became good friends while still having our own groups and mutual friends. I can understand that you may not have hallmates/floormates that may not be your close friends because of interests and that is fine because you will have plenty of chances to meet new people.

    I am not sure if classes started for you yet but when you pick your seat for each time make it a chance for you to introduce yourself to a new person, maybe exchange numbers and hang out or get something at the dining hall to eat prior to class or afterwards. When you go to the dining hall alone for a meal make it your responsibility to sit across or at the same table as someone else who is alone that you have never met. I know it takes confidence and is scary but after doing it a few times I got to meet some really cool people although I did not try it that often lol.

    I think the service opportunity and the trip will give me plenty of chances to meet new people and probably in a more smaller and intimate situation. You will probably meet people who are older than you and have advice and strategies for being success at your school and you can learn about certain classes, and professors, and social spots on campus. Do not be discouraged if you do not make any bffs immediately, i made some good friends during my first year but no one i would consider a friend for life, friendships take time and you have it.

    And next week when clubs start go to all of the meeting of the clubs that interest you and stick with the ones you want to dedicate your time to and the ones with the people that you want to hang out with and get to know more. I know you are not a freshmen anymore but people still want to make new friends, you can never have too many friends so just be friendly and nice and I am sure people will want to know more about you.

    The key is to keep a positive attitude throughout the whole process and just introduce yourself to as many people as you can you are bound to find someone with similar interests. You can invite them to eat, maybe watch a movie, chill at your dorm and play video games, or even something as simple as studying together. I think I have learned something valuable this past school year: People aren't going to come looking for your friendship you are going to have to put yourself out there for people to notice.

    Also if you are into partying, you can always find a party and socialize from there. I did not go to alot of parties last year but all of the ones I did attend I met alot of new people without having to drink or get wasted. Also if you are into sports try to form or join an intramural team, great may to hang out with a small group of people and see them on a weekly basis and get exercise.

    DO NOT TO BE AFRAID to try new things!!! I went on a snowboarding trip for my first time ever and had a blast I went with two friends and ended up making a handful more just from talking on the slopes and we all plan on going again sometime in the winter.

    I am a fairly quite guy until I get to know people but just make sure you socialize and put yourself out in the friend market because especially at a big school you are bound to run into hundreds if not thousands of new people. I admit it is not easy and is kinda awkward at the end up all worth it.

    GOODLUCK and keep your head up and I wish you the best this semester!(ps sorry for the long post)
  • diana2012diana2012 Posts: 423Registered User Member
    If you're reading this, get off CC NOW and just go talk to people. It'll get easier. I promise. My best friend and I hated each other with a passion the first time we met.
  • Kel2012Kel2012 Posts: 164Registered User Junior Member
    There are an awful lot of stories like this on this website. For now, just take your "loneliness" and try using it to your advantage, education wise. Go to the library and read books. Sit on a bench and read or study. That's what I would do. I don't know why people are so afraid of being alone. I love it.
  • deeperdeeper Posts: 21Registered User New Member
    I don't think you put yourself out there enough. If you've already accepted being the "odd egg out" instead of trying to communicate and make friends, you're just beating yourself up.

    Not everyone is great with orientations- keep your head up. Once classes start, get there a little early, sit next to people and introduce yourself. You're likely to find people with similar interests in your major as well. Just loosen up, you'll find some people!
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