Homophobic Roommates - Page 3

KKmama · 10-01-2012, 11:35 PM

Seatide,
The only way the roommates would be in a position to ask for the room change would be for the OP to come out to them, which may not be the safest thing for him to do. So, as is often the case in our world, the innocent one needs to pay the price.
OP - talk with your RA and see what can be done to arrange for a room change. You should not have to live under conditions where you are constantly hearing complaints about gays and unable to speak up for them (and thus yourself), or worry about what they may or may not do if they discover your orientation.
AFTER you and all your belongings are out of the room you might want to tell the former roomies why you left.

TomServo · 10-02-2012, 12:27 PM

Tell them you're gay and that they should be more respectful. I say this as a religious guy who prays before meals and doesn't believe in premarital sex.

MissGen · 10-02-2012, 01:27 PM

Tom, I don't think you understand the realities of all the ways that could go horribly wrong for a gay person with two homophobic roommates.

TitoMorito · 10-02-2012, 01:37 PM

I agree with MissGen; unfortunately, not everyone is as open-minded as you, Tom.

mibsprincess · 10-02-2012, 02:22 PM

What if the OP sits down with the roommates and the RA? With the RA there to moderate and explain options and consequences this may diffuse any violence as well as educate the roommates. This can also open up the option for the roommates to move.

dchau503 · 10-03-2012, 01:26 AM

..........So I left my laptop on one day...on this thread and my roommates saw it and they didn't want to confront me about it so they went to the RA and the RA sat us down and we talked about our living situations. They both know that I'm gay now and they say they're cool with it but I'm still not sure.

Note to self....never leave your laptop on and leave the room, especially on a sensitive site.

ucbalumnus · 10-03-2012, 01:37 AM

Well, that's what automatic idle screen lock is for.

But then it looks like you accidentally managed to cause something better than expected to happen.

dchau503 · 10-03-2012, 01:50 AM

Now the real issues begin.... Oh how I wish I stayed in the closeted world of my parents' home and hometown.

excelblue · 10-03-2012, 02:47 AM

If there are real problems, it's most important that you protect your own safety. If it's truly an uncomfortable environment, get yourself outta there at any cost.

That said, the door is now opened to discussion. People form new opinions all the time. It's like what happened to all those racists from the 60s; there was a lot of dialog, and most of them have a new opinion these days.

ucbalumnus · 10-03-2012, 02:48 AM

If there is any trouble with anti-gay harassment and the like, you probably have most of the college student population (i.e. the RAs and most people in your dorm) on your side (and, given where you attend, it is likely that proven harassment or violence has a good chance of resulting in eviction for the harasser). Recent polls indicate that 63% of people born 1981 or later (i.e. age 31 or younger) favor recognition of gay marriage (and it is probably even higher for the younger part of that group -- i.e. those in college).

Pew-Forum: Gay Marriage Attitudes

Also, even a (slight) majority of Catholics and white mainline Protestants are in favor (though white evangelical and black Protestants are mostly opposed):

Pew-Forum: Gay Marriage Attitudes

thisislife · 10-03-2012, 04:20 AM

Move out, their beyond reason

LemonDormiens · 10-04-2012, 07:58 AM

Honestly, it's just going to be really uncomfortable for you to just stay there in that situation. Of course, moving out would be one of the more clean and simple solutions to the problem. And there is the choice of standing up against your roommates. If you don't want to change rooms, maybe they can. It's not your fault that they aren't able to appreciate you for who you are.

thisislife · 10-04-2012, 01:48 PM

"Honestly, it's just going to be really uncomfortable for you to just stay there in that situation. Of course, moving out would be one of the more clean and simple solutions to the problem. And there is the choice of standing up against your roommates. If you don't want to change rooms, maybe they can. It's not your fault that they aren't able to appreciate you for who you are."

Whatever you do , don't stand up to them, this will create a conflict which can get REALLY nasty, really fast .

Just go to an RA and say you seriously need new roomates

MaineLonghorn · 10-07-2012, 12:24 PM

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europegrad · 10-09-2012, 05:43 AM

First, the roommates don't even know the OP sexual preference is homosexual.

Second, there is no way of knowing how they would react. Just because many people think homosexual relations are inherently wrong (me included), doesn't mean people will attack, be violent or engage in bullying.

One of the roommates even told the most he would do is "stop talking with".

It is possible to have a cordial, if distant and indifferent, relationship with flatmates/roommates that have certain behaviors that annoy you on moral grounds, but don't affect you personally (which would be the case of smoking or loud music).