DeeMarieTee

I know this advice is hard to feel good about now, but really do give it time! I was a college freshman 12 years ago, but I still remember that first semster of college, bouncing around to different friend groups and not really fitting into any. Then, all of a sudden, I created one very good friend, and we then became connected into a larger group of friends with whom I'm still close today. I would say, if you are more introverted like I am, perhaps just try to establish one good, close friendship and work from there.

Also, something someone told me years ago when I first started at a new job, he said "If your co-workers ever invite you to go out after work, just say YES." and I can tell you, it has been great advice for me -- and you could translate that to "after class." If someone wants to grab lunch, dinner, coffee, go out (as long as you don't feel pressured to do something you are uncomfortable with), then I say do it. Just say yes and gather all of those experiences. Sometimes it's just one of those fun college nights that all of a sudden turns into a strong bond of friendship. So as much as you feel comfortable doing so, I would say, say yes to all of the invites that you get.

And finally, don't believe everything you see on FB. I once heard the quote "I wish my FB life was exciting as my real life." Usually FB only reveals the highlights of a person's life, and people who might be trying to look like they're having a blast (when inside they might be lonely and struggling like you), could easily portray their life as super-social and fun with a few FB posts/pictures. Don't worry. Something will almost definitely click for you. And if not, then, if you've given it enough time, you could think about transferring.

sportygrl148

Okay thanks for all the support guys!
And where do most people meet their close friends?
Class? Clubs? Dorms?
And do most people find apartments to share after freshman year?
I really want to get an apartment, but again, I don't really have people to share with....
Also I heard that most people find their true friends as sophomores, juniors, seniors? Is that true?

ThisMortalSoil

My closest friends have come from living off-campus (I'm good friends with my current roommates and the ones I had last year, I stayed in the house but they moved out) and from my upper-level, major-specific classes.

strongbeans12

just lower your expectations. i was depressed last year until i just accepted college to continue to be a lonely, unfulfilling place. i made one goood friend and im happy now with my lack of fun in life.

littlepenguin

I'm also a first-year, and I've been going through my own spells of depression and anxiety for the same reason. I never had a close-knit group of friends in high school, so I came to college wanting that, but I would have anxiety about constantly going out on the weekends to spend time with people and fit into a group. I quickly realized that I was forcing myself into social situations and oftentimes felt like I didn't have much to contribute to the group--I was only there because I felt like I had to be.

I took a step back and started reconnecting with myself and the things I'm passionate about. I reached out to different organizations on campus, applied for a couple of programs that I felt would be fulfilling for me, and started making more time for leisure reading and my own writing (which is my passion). The more I felt fulfilled through my own activities, the less I felt the need to feel fulfilled through fitting into a close-knit friend group. And the more energy I put into the clubs that I truly cared about, the more connections I made with others. I still don't have a best friend or a group of close friends, but I feel like these things are falling into place because I'm pursuing what I'm genuinely passionate about.

Adjusting is hard. For everyone. And making the effort to move beyond the depression you're feeling now is really difficult. I can't tell you how many times I've had anxiety because I didn't know when I would ever feel comfortable with my living situation. But trust that it will all work out, and that you're not alone. If possible, try talking to others (maybe your roommate or your school's counselor), because it might feel much better to say your thoughts out loud instead of letting them fester in your head.

Good luck! And feel free to message me. I always thought it would be comforting to talk to someone else who shared the same anxieties.

(Getting a boyfriend will not help. I currently have a boyfriend from a summer program at our college that we both attended, but being in a relationship makes it harder to make friends and go about your own life, which is something I'm handling now as well.)

PhillyGirl94

Girl, I feel you. 100%. All of my friends went to college a month before me, as my school has shorter terms than theirs, and they made it seem like this huge party where everyone's cool and being social is easy. WRONG. I mean don't get me wrong, everyone's friendly enough, theres just no 'click' you know? This was especially difficult for me because I had a good amount of close friends in high school and very rarely felt alone there so this was the last thing I expected for college. Not to mention the fact that my roomie got kicked out so I'm now practically living on my own. And trust me that sounds way cooler than it really is! It gets lonely and can be kind of depressing especially when I hear the girls and guys on my floor out in the hall living it up. They're cool, btw, but just not my type of crowd.I'm not the type to force myself into a group simply for the sake of "having friends." I think a lot of people do that especially in situations like this but I'd recommend the opposite. The only way to find authentic friends is for you to be your authentic self, whether that means being the lone wolf for awhile or whatever. But anyways, I try not to be the type to just sit around and wallow in my problems so I decided to at least try some stuff ya know? I joined a few clubs, for instance, and if nothing else that keeps me busy, so I have less time to be lonely. Also I'm making more of an effort to push myself towards starting conversations and what not instead of waiting for everyone to come to me, as can be my habit. This whole college thing is definitely a work in progress but I don't think it has to be a miserable one. Keep your head up! I'm convinced that we can both do this!

PS- Feel free to msg me!

swimmer2468

So I posted a similar thread somewhere else, but I'm scared of experiencing what you are describing right now. I actually read an article on one of my target school's newspaper that relates:

goo.gl/8YJ8n