Parents choosing your college

caramelkisses06 · 07-25-2007, 06:00 PM

Hey all - I'm doing some research for a project I'm working on, and need to know if there's anyone out there whose parents chose their college for them, meaning literally forced them to go to a particular school, against their will. If you've heard of anyone like this (or if this is you) please share the story!! It would really help me out. Thanks!

umcp11 · 07-25-2007, 06:10 PM

*raises hand*

I'm trying to get over it, though :P. They're paying. So it's all good...

FemmeFatale · 07-25-2007, 06:49 PM

Just *conveniently* get rejected at any college they might force you to attend against your will.

I know some Asian parents who insist that their kids go to a certain UC, and short of complete mental breakdown there is no challenging that stubbornness.

umcp11 · 07-25-2007, 06:54 PM

Actually, I was told that if I got rejected by CP I would be going to community college.

MBP · 07-25-2007, 07:22 PM

I have to stay within a certain limit as far as distance.
And I have to pay for it myself after like 15,000.
But other than that, i get to choose.

FemmeFatale · 07-25-2007, 07:29 PM

Oh, jk.

That IS harsh :/ Although I can't say I haven't seen the same all or nothing mentality. Some parents don't even consider great state schools because they're apparently all the same. LACs are another story...

Anyway, my friends and I are quite used to arguing over education with our parents. With one in particular, I shared the experience of fighting tooth and nail to attend the high school we did. I wore my parents down with months of persuasion. Conversely, she didn't tell her parents she wasn't going where they thought until the first day of school.

College was another issue because of the whole money thing. I got lucky with financial aid, but I did have to spend a few months justifying and defending why I picked the college I did. My friend on the other hand is attending a college she's not that thrilled about because of the cost issue. Her parents eventually realized how unhappy it made her and are allowing her to transfer at some point, which I suppose is a victory.

Otherwise, I think it's important for people who are perhaps forced into their college to make the best of things. It's really easy to blame your parents, or the college, or "I didn't want to do this in the first place" but you have to make the change or deal with what you have.

umcp11 · 07-25-2007, 07:42 PM

Yup, exactly. No, it's not a Top 20 school, and no, it's not in California (two of my other choices *cries*), but to be honest, I'll love it, and it's free (for me). My parents had a set amount of money they were willing to pay (i.e. as little as possible despite an EFC off the charts), and I wasn't allowed to take out a cent in loans because they would have had to cosign.

ChamilitaryMayne · 07-25-2007, 07:51 PM

My parents didn't necessarily choose my college, but their income chose it. In reality i had no clue where i wanted to go to school, so i made the most economical choice by going with UF. My parents also have to pay for school for my siblings. The tuition is paid for, the housing is cheap, and i am covering the other expenses with small loans. School starts in less than a month and i can't wait.

beanieboo · 07-26-2007, 04:50 PM

i was allowed to choose my own completely (very happily too) but my parents were much harsher with my oldest brother. he wanted to go to university of delaware but my mom didnt want him to because his hs girlfriend-ish person (who was not the most upstanding person) was going there and because she knwo its rep as a huge party school. she wanted him to go to penn state but he didnt want to because he said it was in the middle of nowhere and too far from home. neither of them would agree so he wound up going to umass- amherst and hated it. he transferred after a year there to pace university in nyc and finished there

college18 · 07-26-2007, 05:31 PM

I applied and got accepted to many schools that I chose to apply to. I got rejected from most of the schools that my parents forced me to apply to. Turned out I ended up going to a school of their choice, a school that I never thought I'd go to. It was the only one school on their list that I did not get rejected. Pretty sad...sigh... The schools I wanted to go to were pretty expensive though. So far I am not really excited about my new school (university). The cost is not that bad (in-state) and they're helping me pay for it, so...I don't know...I'm still going to try my best regardless. But I might try to transfer next year and see if the school can give me a better Financial Aid.