I just don't know what to do now. I'll try to keep this short. My close uncle passed away in september. This is the first time someone in my family has died that I know of. The problem is that he caught ecoli and several other infections consequently. His abilities to communicate were slowly going away. It got to a point where his mouth would stay open, could not talk or see, almost like Terri Schiavo. He couldn't communicate to his family his last words. Then I was there when he was cremated, helping to put wax on him so he the cremation could be done properly.
This left a deep scar on me when I began my freshman year at college. I started getting dreams that it was my dad and I couldn't say my last words to him and other similar dreams. I couldnt concentrate on class as much as I wanted to. Whenever I get stressed out, especially during my tests or even quizzes I would often get these nightmares. My mind would just freeze whenever I took the test, and I would score badly on them. I tried not going to sleep a couple of times but that just didnt work out. Im on the border of getting a C in one class and I know for sure that I will have a C for another class. However the reoccurrences of these dreams have gone down a lot during my birthday when I saw them happy and I started to really realize that my uncle is in a good place. Hopefully, I can come to peace when Im with my uncles family and tell them how Im feeling over Thanksgiving break.
I want to go to med school, but I just cant imagine having 2 Cs and maybe one 2 As during my first semester will effect my GPA and my chances of getting in. These Cs are in my science classes too. In order for me drop the class I have a C in, I would have to talk to the dean and only the dean can make an exception at this point for extreme cases like these. I dont know how the dean would react to this. Would the dean think Im mentally unstable because its been about 3 months? Would the dean think Im a cruel person for using the death of my uncle as a excuse for performing poorly in my classes? Would the dean spread rumors to the faculty/colleges about me? How would I be viewed?