revolversun

Hey everyone. I'm filling out my reslife form and survey for my college and I'm currently stumped on the question about "what qualities do you want in your room mate?" Obviously, I want someone who is friendly, respectful, and a little nerdy like myself, but...

Is there a "don't ask, don't tell" mentality on these surveys? I'm a bisexual (maybe homosexual) who is questioning my sexuality. I certainly won't let my sexuality interfere with my roomie's life, but I want to be able to be open and honest with my roomie and have a relationship based on trust and acceptance of one another's values and ways of life. Is it ok to mention this on the survey?

thanks

-revolversun.

Iirokotree

yes, it would be very considerate of you to put that on your application. Some people may feel uncomfortable towards those of different sexuality other than there own. You wouldn't want to get there and have unnecessary awkwardness. It's better that reslife knows so they can room you with someone who is open and inviting. You wouldn't want to get stuck with someone if you make each other feel uncomfortable. But also ask yourself, does your sexuality (be it bisexual or homosexual) really define you? If not, i would just leave it off. Some people (like myself) could care less what you're sexual orientation. All I want is a neat roomate. Also, it would depend on what school you're going to. Some schools are more liberal (such as LACs) may be more liberal than others.

revolversun

No, it certainly doesn't affect my lifestyle, mannerisms, and how I behave. People are normally surprised when I tell them.

I'm attending Lewis & Clark College in Portland, OR, so it's a pretty liberal place.

fa-la-la-lena

If you want to mention it at all a quality that your roommate might want to have is "open-mindedness." Otherwise I don't see the need for distinguishing yourself through your sexual orientation

OKgirl

I'd put open-mindedness as a desirable quality for them.

The only thing I'm wondering is that if you put that you are bisexual/homosexual, do you really think that someone would put "A quality I want in my roommate is that they are bisexual/homosexual."

AJH2008

Why don't you just put "someone who is non-discriminatory"

quaere

It's best to be clear about what you want. "Open-minded" or "non-discriminatory" are vague terms; no one would say that they're not an open-minded person. If you specifically want a gay-friendly roommate, write "gay-friendly", which leaves no room for confusion. Lewis & Clark has a pretty large queer community, from what I've heard, so it's likely that there will be other LGBQ students with the same request. Best case scenario, you end up with one of them. Second best, they try to find you someone who seems accepting, even if their paperwork doesn't explicitly state that they're gay-friendly.

i_wanna_be_Brown

no one's going to write that they want a gay roommate, but some people will write that they definitely do not want a gay roommate.

kelseyg

Am I the only one who considered putting "I don't mind having a gay roommate" down? After talking to a few students who seemed to think a gay roommate would constantly oogle and hit on them, I felt badly that said potential gay roommates might end up with such people. :\

Student615

There will almost certainly be people who will request (or indicate tolerance for) a gay (or "gay-friendly") roommate. There may also be a place on the form to describe oneself, and some people will certainly list qualities like open-minded, socially liberal, accepting of all lifestyles, etc. I personally think it's better to give, within reason, too many specific details than not enough. My freshman roommate and I were a fantastic match, and when we talked about the questionnaire, it turned out that we'd both put down a lot of the same wacky, seemingly unimportant details/preferences..."just in case." Reslife staff must've laughed aloud when they came across our two forms.

OP, if this is important to you and you're comfortable writing it on the form, do so. The way you phrased it in your original post is just fine. Do be sure that you're comfortable having a roommate of any orientation (perhaps your own acceptance goes without saying, but, well...not everyone's does), and if you're not, be honest about it.

Best case scenario, you get exactly the sort of roommate that you're hoping for. Worst case, you don't! Odds of that "worst case scenario" go way up if you don't even put your own preferences out there. If you're a reasonably respectful person yourself, than at a school like L&C, you'll probably be just fine either way. Best of luck