LogicWarrior

For the Christians out there, how many of you really save yourself until marriage? Where is the immorality in having sex while in a long-term committed relationship?

If you do save yourself until marriage, how far are you allowed to go before marriage?

ginab591

What do you mean by Christian?
If you're saying anyone who believes in Christ, very few of them are going to wait for marriage.
If you say non-Catholic Christians, there are probably a few more planning to wait.

powerbomb

I agree - even among Christians there are going to be people who wait until marriage and there are going to be people who don't.

I think the immorality of sex before marriage is behind the belief that marriage is sanct, and that having sex equates to becoming "one".

Baelor

It's worth noting that Catholicism does condemn fornication.

tokdoc

Baelor??? Catholics do NOT believe in sex before marriage...many of them barely believe in it afterward

tokdoc

But seriously, The Bible is clear that sex outside of marriage is against God's will. Simple as that. It's easy to see all the problems that are the direct result of disobeying God in this area. I believe more and more Christian young people are seeing the wisdom of waiting. I certainly hope my daughter adheres to what she knows is right, despite the pressures, when she goes off to college next year.

Jcancollegebound

I'm a Christian and I also intend to wait until marriage before sex. As for how far is too far though, I don't know of any clear boundaries but I personally go by the rule that you shouldn't go past the point where you think you'll likely lose control and ending up having sex. Obviously that point would differ for people, but that's just my view.

bluebubbles

I'm totally fine with this "rule", but come on, don't you need to test drive the car before you buy?

ginab591

I pointed out the difference because Catholicism is less strict about some things, even interpretation of the Bible. My mother, a Catholic school teacher, was told to teach students that the Old Testament is just stories to learn from.

tokdoc-Have you seen Catholic families? Catholics just don't believe in birth control/abortions. Hence the giant Catholic families.

But this isn't meant to be a religious debate, so my answer to the question: Religion is different for everyone. You interpret it how you believe you should.
Personally, I probably won't wait until marriage. (I'm Catholic). But I do think that if I were to do anything without birth control I would have to be in a long term relationship with the guy and trust that he would step up if anything because I wouldn't get an abortion. Not that I don't believe it's right for some people though.

HisGraceFillsMe

I'm Christian and I intend to wait until I get married.

I think the problem with sex outside of marriage is that it has so many emotional ties. Once you have sex with someone, you can never really disconnect from them. (at least in my beliefs.)

As for how far we're "allowed" to go before marriage...that differs for everyone. I draw the line and say that no clothing will be removed, because that just seems too risky for me. But I know that not everyone does that. It just depends on the person.

Alix2012

I think this is true mostly for religious folks abstaining from pre-marital sex. Religious people generally make a bigger deal about sex; from a young age they're taught sex is a huge deal and they have special promise rings and they drag Jesus into it and all that. So if a religious person raised in a Christian home had pre-marital sex, they would likely form intense emotion ties and never get over it like you described. But if you're not raised to think like that, you see sex as basically what it is in the simplest form - brief pleasure involving body parts. Some people are comfortable hooking up with strangers, while others would refuse to have sex with their fiancee.

Oh and when I say "Christian" I mean the actual religious people. Most Americans would say their family is some denomination but few of us are practicing Christians - like my family is traditionally Lutheran but we're not religious so I wouldn't include myself as Christian. According to this site http://www.moroni10.com/Sex-religion.html 95% of Americans have pre-marital sex, so I'm guessing most Christians choose to as well.

Baelor

They do not believe it's correct -- but of course they believe that it exists! And your statement is essentially a repetition of mine. I don't see what your point is.

And I'm going to happily have sex with my wife after we get married and not before.

lockn

Sex before marriage often leads to a child without a stable family. When the bible was written, single mothers had it even worse than they do now, and marriages almost never ended in divorce. This was a perfectly rational basis for the prohibition of sex before marriage. Now, with multiple types on contraception that are pretty effective (and virtually fail-safe when used in combination, if you are paranoid) this is no longer an issue. Religion doesn't necessarily change to meet the modern reality, but societal attitudes usually do.

Cboe

Often? Where are you getting your statistics from?

I heard contraception and other alternate measures are good.

lockn

Lol did you read my whole post? I will quote myself for your convenience: