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gay roommate

emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Posts: 32,338Registered User Senior Member
edited December 2010 in College Life
There is a thread in the parents cafe- concerning a student who has been assigned a roommate who is homosexual.
The student is fine with that although the mother/parent is not .
Since many schools do not allow switching because the parent is uncomfortable- what would your advice be to this mother who is clearly having a hard time before school even starts?
Post edited by emeraldkity4 on

Replies to: gay roommate

  • MischasMischas Posts: 62Registered User Junior Member
    To get over herself, and realize that she's being a bigot and homophobic. But that's just my opinion.

    EDIT: To avoid starting a flame war, she should also get over herself and realize that it's not her life, it's her son's. It's not only because she's (I'm assuming) homophobic.
  • intheoryintheory Posts: 57Registered User Junior Member
    yeah, the poster above said it all...it's not the parent that has to live with the person, and learning to live with those different from you is part of "higher education"

    and I'm really surprised at what kind of responses came up in the parent's forum...a bunch of people kept trying to point out to the original poster why referring to her daughter's roommate as "a gay" was offensive and she just didn't get it...and then there was another one who was under the impression that lesbians don't have sex anyway

    I'm kinda on the other side of things...I'm gay and my roommate is (apparently) straight, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least alittle nervous about it...not that I expect alot of difficulty being gay at Smith
  • emeraldkity4emeraldkity4 Posts: 32,338Registered User Senior Member
    I made the "joke" about how lesbians don't have sex anyway
    I believe that it is a common stereotype that alison bechdel exploits in her comic "dykes to watch out for".
    My daughter is living with a straight male roommate- she is lesbian.
    I sympathize with the original poster who seemed to be having possibly other issues and the "gay" roomate one was just the catalyst.
    The daughter doesn't seem to have a problem with it, the mother admitted that she was the one who was uncomfortable.
    I realize that adults and students will have varying comfort zones- but I also feel that unless there is a safety issue that the students who are adults, should work it out themselves.
    When I was in high school I knew very very few people who were "out" perhaps none who were actually out in high school, but a few who acknowledged their orientation shortly after graduation.
    Many high schools are much more accepting now, and students can feel comfortable enough much earlier than in the past- however, the more some segments of society open up to diversity , others out of fear are more repressive and I have heard of schools where even teachers contribute to the harrasment of those percieved to be gay.
    If you have lived in that sort of community- it could be very threatening to see your child go somewhere very different. You really don't know what to expect, and some people may believe those who warn that the "GAY AGENDA" is bent on corrupting the nations youth
  • acelratedsunriseacelratedsunrise Posts: 12Registered User New Member
    I had an old roommate who was gay and up to this point he's been the best roommate I've ever had. Does this mother think the roommate is going to seduce her daughter or something? geez

    intheory- I'm at umass:)
  • namastenamaste Posts: 3,027Registered User Senior Member
    that mother needs to grow up. sounds like typical ultra conservative family w/kids who have sense and are breaking free.
  • CynthiaRCynthiaR Posts: 190Registered User Junior Member
    to be fair to the mother, (i have not read the original thread) I know people from that generation who are uncomfortable with things, but realize that it's not a rational feeling and try to raise their kids to be more open-minded. Society was less accepting 30/40 years ago, and it's probably hard to lose the ingrained prejudices. Still, it is the daughter's life, and she is basically an adult. Mother should try to stop worrying so much. My advice would be to read some of the roommate horror stories floating around, then talk to the roommate a little to get to know her as a person, rather than just "my daughter is rooming with a lesbian."
  • HooHoo Posts: 510Registered User Member
    I really feel worse of the gay/lesbian roommate than for the mother of the roommate and her mother. Put yourself in her position. How would you feel if someone moved out of your room because of something you can't help?
  • DontMindNamesDontMindNames Posts: 1Registered User New Member
    There isn't a problem with it, if the roommate is homosexual does it matter? You can't shape another one's future without ruining it. Just deal with it, its not likely that the figure is there to violate your child, he is there just to learn. Plus what kind of nasty discusting person judges one by what skin, style, hair, gender and sexuality!? Its bad enough that you hurt their feelings, but you take it further. Read here: Don't judge a book by its cover. It means that the details go deeper than the ones you see.
  • KangsterKangster Posts: 170Registered User Junior Member
    then they might as well allow co-ed dorming
  • RoxSoxRoxSox Posts: 2,179Registered User Senior Member
    This thread is like five years old.
  • romanigypsyeyesromanigypsyeyes Posts: 22,254Registered User Senior Member
    I kinda wish the OP would come back and update now. Maybe the guy or gal fell in love with his/her roommate and are now happily married in San Fransisco. Hey... one can hope.
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