popcorngoddess

Hi--I'm a high school senior trying to pick between two really great schools for next year. Of these two, there is one that would be my definite first choice. The problem, I have a close friend who is also seriously considering the same school.

This friend and I are involved in many of the same activities and are passionate about many of the same causes and academic subjects, which presumably would continue, at least to some extent, in college. The thing is, my friend tends to be more motivated and more assertive and is consequently generally better at these various activities and subjects. People look up to her more.

In high school, this has been fine--more or less--but I do know that I want a change in college. The college we are both considering is fairly small (about 1300 people), so I don't think it's possible to just avoid her, nor would I want to do that, because she's a good friend and I love her very much. Still, I'm worried that, if I went to college with her and became involved in the same activities, etc, I would fall into the same rut I'm in now and wouldn't explore and challenge myself as much as I would otherwise. She would overshadow me the way she has in high school.

I guess my question is, is college different enough that I really shouldn't worry about being overshadowed, etc, even at a school this small? Should I go to this school even if she goes, or would it be better to go to the other one (which is still AMAZING, by the way, just not as high on my list), where I would have a chance to grow and expand more on my own?

Thanks.

Chedva

It would be better, IMO, to go to whichever one your friend doesn't. College is a time to reinvent yourself, and if you're going with a close friend, you may not have the opportunity to do so. You need to stretch your wings and test your talents without worrying about being overshadowed, and without bringing high school with you.

VeryHappy

Go to the school you favor without consideration of where your friend goes. You will both meet lots of new people; your interests will evolve; in four years you will both have moved apart and will have had very different experiences. Don't let HER decide where YOU'RE going to school.

collegehelp

In college, everybody starts from scratch. The high school social network and status are gone. Other students won't know or care much about your high school background. Don't worry where your friend goes. If you go to the same school, just be yourself.

popcorngoddess

Thanks for your thoughts on this. I guess part of my worry is that I automatically act a certain way around her now, which isn't really all that easy to break out of or to change, so 'being myself' around her means I'll still act the same way in college, without developing as much as I would otherwise...if that makes any sense.