Coolbrezze

Common application seems to be running now, you may can start with applications. I myself think I will go view common application in a few minutes.

Isis

Hi BaddyCaddy, Respectfully, I completely disagree with your Mom. I have rarely seen a parent who is unable to remove his/her own process from a child's process. Take it from me... I am a psychologist now, with four (yes, four) college degrees, one of which is from Yale. Both of my parents barely finished high school. Had I listened to my parents, I'd be dead and homeless by now, even though they were confident in their opinions at the time... take the advice of these fine people on this forum.

investorscooter

Baddycaddy:

I TOTALLY feel for you - and I'm a Mom who couldn't "push the chain" that was my son's interest in applying to college. You definitely have the right idea about the application strategy. You don't have an idea about how to deal with mom. This is difficult. If I were you...

1. kmccrindle is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT about the issues of finances. This should actually be the first discussion with your mom. You look at the total cost of attending the various options: in-state publics, OOS publics, private. You look at the numbers, thinking that you will get NO money. That's the only way to be realistic, should the worst case scenario come to pass. This way, any awards are gravy, making the situation more palatable. We put our COA figures on a dry erase board in the family room (covered with a blanket when we were expecting company) so the whole issue was in the whole family's face. We had the acceptance rates up on that board, too, and other pertinent info.

2. Who does your mom respect? Who's opinion has she followed in the past? What about her family members, or someone in business, or from church, or a neighbor who has done well, having attended XYZ university. Or another mom who has sent their kids off, who is more connected with current reality? You need effective allies, and you should be able to figure out who could help you with this important issue.

3. Make a deal with your mom. Tell her that for every school she wants you to apply to, that you are free to make another application of your choice. Her choice, your choice. Her next choice, your next choice. Cap it at whatever number you were going to apply to in the first place (6/8/10, whatever.) You are BARGAINING with her. You are showing her advanced negotiating skills. You are being reasonable, and considerate and she's getting some of what she wants, and the same is happening for you. How could she turn this offer down?

4. As for the "party school" options, like Arizona or wherever else, see if you can get into the honors colleges of these universities. I think that any student with a strong sense of self (which you appear to possess) can successfully navigate party schools and come out on the tail end with burnished academic credentials. But it is indeed a reasonable parental concern. So you address her concern by agreeing to apply to and hopefully be accepted by the honors colleges, or room in the honors dorms, or do whatever to mitigate the reputation. That's what many of my friends' kids did here in FL (where the public schools have that type of rep). They're enrolled in the honors programs.

Much, best luck to you!!

6starsgleaming

If worst comes to worst and having other people i.e. guidance counselor at the school talk to her doesn't work, just submit an app or two on your own to safeties.

arcadefire1027

It sounds like your mom is not logical at all.

There. I said it.

bananabel789

Definitely, definitely apply to a safety with rolling admission! Even if you hate the school and could never see yourself going there... it at least gives you SOMEWHERE to go. It was awesome for me last year when most of my friends hadn't sent in a single app, but I already had an acceptance letter and a giant scholarship offer And you can apply to a lot of schools for free on the common app. So if you have to I would do that behind your mom's back... then show her your letters.

I got into Georgetown last year, and the secret is to be well rounded and write a good essay. That made up for some of the average things on my resume. My admissions officer there sent me a card telling me he liked my essay a lot... so I guess it made a difference to them! However, keep in mind that they don't give merit aid, so if you get in, you're looking at $55,000 a year. But they are D1 and Jesuit, and a pretty good school with a reputation your mom can't ignore (although technically it is in the South)!

sun_shine

Baddycaddy,

I am hoping what your mom is trying to do is narrow the choices for you because it is quite overwhelming with the number of colleges and universities out there! However....I do believe it would be best to be realistic as far as academic standards, tuition, location and interest are concerned. It would be great for both of you if you guys were able to sit down and discuss things together without getting upset and coming to a happy conclusion for you both. Ultimately, it is your decision.
I hope you are able to come to a happy resolution with all this and the outcome will be a huge success!
Good luck to you.

Knownasnoni

No matter how much your mom means to you, YOU MUST HAVE A SAFETY!! It's better safe than sorry.

My teacher told me how this one student got admitted into an Ivy League school but when someone in her family became ill, she had to stay and lucky for her, she had also applied to her state university.

I started out with just Brown, because that was the only school I was interested in. Then I included my state university just in case and couple more Ivy Leagues for fun. But my parents wanted me to apply to more middle-ranked colleges just in case.

Luckily for me, I did get into the school I wanted...and I really mean "luckily." I still wished i had applied to more middle-ranked colleges.