Going to a college "beneath" you - Page 5

chaosakita · 06-30-2009, 09:01 PM

I'm curious: If you guys think that prestige is so unimportant, why are you in this particular forum anyways? I mean, all you have to do to get into 95% of colleges is get a nice SAT score and keep up your grades decently. Why bother with the stress, especially the other stress of other people who think that prestige?

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Could it be possible that they might have been [GASP] rejected?

They were all top 10 students at a very good school, and from what I saw of their extracurricular activities and academic achievements, they seemed really great to me.

Grcxx3 · 06-30-2009, 09:05 PM

I am not here to try to find a way to get my son into a "prestigious" school. I am here to get information that may help in the general college selection/admission/decision process...in order to help get into the best school for him.

Pizzagirl · 06-30-2009, 09:45 PM

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If you guys think that prestige is so unimportant, why are you in this particular forum anyways? I mean, all you have to do to get into 95% of colleges is get a nice SAT score and keep up your grades decently. Why bother with the stress, especially the other stress of other people who think that prestige?

Because we're interested in getting our children into excellent colleges FOR THEM and their particular interests, desires, talents, needs and preferences. Those colleges may be prestigious, or they may not be. You are confusing the search for excellence and the search for prestige.

Pizzagirl · 06-30-2009, 11:39 PM

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As a general rule, you should attend a college where you are in the bottom half of the class based on SATs. If you get into a reach school, you should attend. Otherwise, you are selling yourself short. You will grow more at a school where you are in the bottom half of the class.

It's like the inverse of Lake Wobegone -- all the students should be in the bottom half!

Techie1988 · 06-30-2009, 11:48 PM

There is no such thing as a research university being "beneath" you. If the regular classes are too easy, then try the honors program or take graduate courses and/or graduate in three or two years. If that's not challenging enough, how about doing research with professors. I'm sure they'll have something to stretch your mind, if indeed your main goal in college is to learn. A good research university will have plenty of opportunities for you to learn and grow. It's not high school anymore; you need to get out of that mentality.

There are "prestigious" schools (in the eyes of the OP, ring_of_fire and company), and then there are excellent schools (in the eyes of university presidents, faculty, informed employers, and the well-educated). Very few are in both categories. Perhaps your "top 10" classmates had the good sense to choose excellence over prestige and the confidence to know that wherever they go they will succeed and make the most of their years there. And maybe they want to save some money as well. That's real smart!

deprofundis · 07-01-2009, 05:54 AM

In England, we have a nasty habit of judging each other socially by how we all speak. It's impossible not to do this, however much we fight against it. It's like My Fair Lady - your vowels and so on will "place" you, geographically and socially. When I lived in the US, it was fantastic not to be placed in that way.

However, it seems to me that people are placed in America by the simple "where did you go to school" question, which is often asked seconds after meeting. So, for instance, I hear that Purdue is really great for electrical engineering; so is MIT. If someone is accepted at both, would they be so opposed to the idea of going somewhere prestigious - again with the endless pot of money thrown in - that they would choose Purdue? It's a kind of misplaced piety. I think they would be missing a golden opportunity, and a golden experience.

Grcxx3 · 07-01-2009, 07:23 AM

^^^ It's not a question of being "opposed" to the idea of going somewhere prestigious, it's a question of which is the better place for the student, which school offers a better fit.

Just like stats and rankings don't give you a feel for what the "personality" of a campus is like, GPAs and SAT scores don't give you a feel for the personality of a student. You could have a numbers match but a "personality" mis-match.

Bottom line, just because someone can get INTO a so-called "prestigious" school - doesn't mean it's the best place for that person. One of my BF in high school wanted to go into medicine. He was accepted to (and could have paid for) several ivy types (memory is going on me many years later....but I"m thinking JH and Yale). But there was a particular professor at Tulane that he really admired and had encouraged him about medicine. So, he chose Tulane for undergrad and med school, and followed that up with various fellowships at JH and in Europe. It was the right thing for him and has served him quite well with his career.

As for the "where did you go to school" thing.....that's particularly big in New Orleans, but- has NOTHING to do with where you went to college. Instead - it refers to High School! It is somewhat of a status check, giving a clue as to family status and where (more or less) you may live. However, just as frequently it is used as a conversation starter because chances are........if you meet someone roughly your age and they went to one of about 12 schools in NO - then you probably know someone (or many someones) in common.

deprofundis · 07-01-2009, 07:40 AM

I was in New York - the question would be asked about college, not high school.

It just seems there is an inverse snobbery going on that isn't particularly healthy.

Grcxx3 · 07-01-2009, 08:09 AM

Yes, in other places in the US the question does refer to college, but in the situations that I have encountered it, it was more of a conversation starter than a quiz on social class/intelligence.

However, when the college one attends is used to determine your "acceptability" - then yes, it is snobbery. And to me, another reason to avoid those "prestigious" schools.

Pizzagirl · 07-01-2009, 08:34 AM

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So, for instance, I hear that Purdue is really great for electrical engineering; so is MIT. If someone is accepted at both, would they be so opposed to the idea of going somewhere prestigious - again with the endless pot of money thrown in - that they would choose Purdue? It's a kind of misplaced piety.

I think you may be misunderstanding what's going on here. No one is talking about looking at two schools and automatically rejecting the more prestigious one because it's more prestigious and well, we wouldn't want any of THAT.

We're talking about looking at schools for the sole purpose of, or caring mostly about, whether they are prestigious or not, as opposed to trying to find the best program and setting for the individual students' needs, wants and desires. Is MIT more prestigious than Purdue? Sure. Are there valid reasons for a student accepted to both to choose MIT? Of course -- the list is long and many. However, are there valid reasons for a student accepted to both to choose Purdue? Of course.

IME, the question isn't used to "place" status; it's a conversation starter, along the lines of "what do you do for a living."

tonk907 · 07-01-2009, 11:19 AM

It's really about fit, as just about everyone else had said; do you want to be miserable at Harvard or happy as a clam at a state university? I'd personally choose the second choice.

I live in a town where we rarely send people to really prestigious schools. This year, our valedictorian will be attending UT Austin (honors) and our salutatorian will be going to texas A&M. Do they think they're "settling"? Not a bit! We may send someone to Tufts, or Wash U, or Dartmouth, or Princeton every year or so, but that doesn't mean I don't attend a good high school. In the culture of my town, it's very, very normal for the best students to go to state universities. And I think that's great. Even though that may not be what I want to do, how can I condemn someone for the choices they make? As they say, don't judge until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are all types of prestigious. What counts is making the decision that is right for you, and choosing a school that is most prestigious for you, in your own eyes.

deprofundis · 07-01-2009, 11:45 AM

Miserable at Harvard. Because you wouldn't be miserable for long - I think it was Ring of Fire who says everyone worries too much about fit. I was miserable at Oxford at first. I got over it.

Grcxx3 · 07-01-2009, 12:03 PM

^^^
And that is why there are MANY, MANY more schools available to the masses than just the ivies. Whether or not someone has the credentials to get in - the ivies are not for everyone.

I had no desire to go to HYP...... I did apply to UVA and Vandy (back in the stone age) and did get in to both, but chose not to go because they were not well known for the major I wanted.

I have no desire to put myself (or my child) in a less than comfortable environment. There are too many uncomfortable situations in life that you don't have a choice over. Selecting a college may be the last major decision you have some control over.......you might as well enjoy it.

dntw8up · 07-01-2009, 12:08 PM

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I was miserable at Oxford at first. I got over it.

It is foolish to assume that because you "got over it", everyone gets over it.

Grcxx3 · 07-01-2009, 12:13 PM

^^^
I agree dntw8up. It's like the folks on another thread saying that people who don't want to go to NE schools because they don't like the cold should just "suck it up" and "deal with it."