Thanks for the insights. It is a bit of an exaggeration on my part to say he'd totally walk away. It's just that this decision still feels so tenuous. He hasn't 'fallen in love' with Cornell but it is not bc of Cornell--he's just not that type of kid. He's not going to fall in love with any place based on a visit and some marketing materials. Anyway, what you all said is very sensible and balanced. You are right--his views may change--but right now he would rather smoke weed than drink or be around sloppy puking drunks. I drank in college but he is not me and I don't know college culture anymore. I am glad to hear he will have company whatever he decides.
haha, in that case don't worry at all---the weed culture here is just as relevant as at any other school. we are located in ithaca...the commons has wonderful restaurants, but they're interspersed between the 5 headshops within that one block
however, weed, while arguably not as dangerous as alcohol medically/physically, is a LOT more dangerous in terms of restriction. If an RA suspects/smells weed in a dorm, they're instructed to call the police instead of just writing the kids up on a JA like they would do if you got caught drinking. my floor freshmen year happened to be full of a bunch of guys who loved smoking, and actually bought a "floor vaporizer" to prevent the chances of getting caught (less of a smell). It worked all year, but towards the end they got careless, and during the last week of spring finals they got caught. Luckily, they didn't have very much on them (they were finishing the last of it since they were leaving the next day), so they didn't get in huge trouble, but it could have been really bad---police were on the scene. If I were you I would caution him on this.
while I look down on the current binge drinking culture of girls in high heels puking in the corner, and loud and obnoxious guys doing same, I am shocked at anyone saying weed is less dangerous than alcohol.
Not in today's world. MomofNEA - the weed of today is genetically stronger than the weed of 20/30 yrs ago. It is also laced with many many chemicals all of which contribute to mental deterioration.
I dont know how to link anything onto a post, but if you do research online you will find medical facts about today's weed.
I haven't even thoroughly read all the posts on this topic (I will), but I will say for now that people who tend to frequently go out are more focused on consuming alcohol than anything else.
Also, I find that people who incessantly look at their phones do so to avoid any interaction with strangers. Just try walking through this campus (or in Collegetown) on a typical day. The lack of friendliness on this campus is pretty appalling sometimes.
^^Haha, do you think people incessantly looking at their phones is unique to Cornell?? Have you been to any other college campus or walked any city street? Or any small town street or high school? It' s universal.
Drinking is not against the law and not a bad or evil thing to do. You can choose to drink or not. Or you can choose to drink responsibly, rarely or even a little too much once in a while or often. It is not black or white. Students don't either get drunk all of the time or never at Cornell (or most colleges.) There is a spectrum and you can choose to be where you want on this spectrum. There is plenty to do that involves no drinking and also the opposite.
Please be aware that some responders on this thread have only been at Cornell for one month. To assume that one knows all about a school after one month is a bit presumptuous, unless perhaps it is a Cornell professor's student attending Cornell.
The idea that drinking is necessarily antithetical to doing well academically or professionally is not valid. There is probably some negative correlation between alcohol and success; but with people who only drink on weekends, I'd say there is no predictive power, at least at Cornell. The drinking culture is not any more or less pervasive than a typical Northeast school would have, and probably has fewer drugs than a West Coast one would.
There is more social ridicule for my religion than any decision to drink or not to drink (not that there is much at all... but the latter is nearly nonexistent.) Close friends may make it a pet project to get you drunk (depending on your friends), but if they are really friends they will respect your decision not to. People you just met at a party won't care: more booze for them.
A good comparison is video-gaming subcultures. Just because a large fraction of Cornell's student body plays video games a lot doesn't mean (1) they are terrible students or (2) you can't find a group of friends outside that culture. Both are habit-forming and very similar in many ways, but I don't see any kids looking for colleges worried at Cornell gaming communities...
EDIT: And for good measure, I'd like to note that I don't drink often, but going out with my friends and having fun on Friday made me a more efficient worker this weekend while preparing for exams and interviews, and doing projects. Again, it's not black and white.
^^#22. Lived in Ithaca for 6 years, D attended Cornell for 4 years graduating in 2010. Her boyfriend, of almost 3 years, just received his PhD from Cornell, 2012. Also had a cousin and uncle graduate from Cornell. Never mind some best friends.
And your knowledge about Cornell other than one month???
It is a big adjustment going to college, especially if you are from a different region. The first few months tend to be harder until you get a circle of friends. Cornell can be quite small once you have a group of friends, know people from different clubs/sports. I was actually kind of surprised how many people my older daughter knew when we walked around the campus and collegetown. My younger one still feels a bit lost after 6 weeks, but in listening to her and her friends while having lunch, they seem to be very happy at Cornell. Some of those kids are going to rush this Jan and some are going to wait.
I didn't drink when I first entered Cornell and I didn't mind the parties/drinking games. As long as you are with good friends/people, the most pressure you'll get to drink when you choose not to is "Are you sure you don't want any?" Most people won't mind if you substitute beer with water. And now that I'm older now, I can easily say I'd much rather substitute water than the horrible "drink" that is Keystone Light. Anyway, when I did finally decide to drink, it was a great first experience to do it with close friends who wouldn't let me go overboard or abuse the stuff. I can definitely say from my 4 years' experience, there is not a strong correlation between drinking and academic performance. I'm sure that on average, the worse students tend to drink more, but drinking doesn't mean at all that you aren't a genius. If I was to make a theory, I'd say light drinkers have the best overall academic performance, because they tend to have self-control (to not be heavy drinkers), yet can find the right balance in their social life. That doesn't mean not drinking at all means you don't have balance in your life or can't be social. It's just my theory based on my personal experience.
I also think going to random parties (frat or otherwise) basically stops freshmen year. Really by second semester, you or your good friend will/should have a connection (even if loose) to whatever social gathering you are attending. Having plenty of social activities depends a lot less on what the university and its culture has to offer, and a lot more to do with your friends and what you/they want to do. Insert yourselves in the right circles, and I'm sure you'll find people wanting to take trips to NYC every weekend to see a Broadway play (yes, I knew people who did practically that).
now that I'm an alumni, one of the things I regret most was not "tapping in to" all of that free beer in college. Granted, most of it was awful stuff, but I still see it as an example of my young self not utilizing the resources at hand. Shame.