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well, you can't actually move in until move in day, so get to duke itself on the 19th...i got there a couple days early because i was flying and stayed at a hotel for those days.
There is a schedule for parents and family during move-in. It is optional, of course. I think it continues through mid afternoon the day following move-in, but I'm not positive about that. You should be getting information about that soon.
My parents are staying until the 21st. The parent orientation stuff ends on the 20th, but my parents learned from moving my older sister in that it's better to stay an extra day for final trips to target, etc.