sybbie719

Waverly,

Thanks for posting the article. While BU has never been considered a school that has been "generous" when it comes to financial aid, they have always been upfront when it comes to discussing their financial aid policies. They are very forthcoming with the following statements:

Especially after reading this article, I think that the Op and the other student that I referenced to were both given classic admit-deny acceptances.

thumper1

And it doesn't help these two students that they did NOT have complete financial aid applications filed with Boston University BY THE DEADLINES BU publishes.

For any new posters or juniors reading this....Deadlines are VERY important. VERY. DO NOT MISS DEADLINES.

In the case of the two posters here, there are two factors...the late filing of their financial aid application materials, AND the strength of their admission application. Neither is working in the favor of the students.

thumper1

Waverly, That is an excellent article that deserves it's own thread...and maybe a sticky at the top of this page. I suspect that many schools that do not meet full need consider financial aid applications in a similar fashion. Thank you for posting this.

sylvan8798

I hope that she does not share this attitude. Every school has plenty of kids who are there to be educated.

kmcmom13

To the OP -- I realize you're frustrated right now, but outcomes of the college app process are unpredictable at best, even when there is not as much financial need. In your case, you really do need to take care to have your level of need met, because it would otherwise make things exceptionally difficult for your parents -- not to mention breaking their hearts that they couldn't help more!

Is it possible to take a gap year and reapply at places that are known to meet need? Or to defer acceptance at BU and work full-time for a year, reapplying for aid the next year by the deadline?

Are you willing to consider two years of community college and then applying as a transfer student in order to keep your debt-load down?

These are all very viable options that many many students before you have undertaken to pursue their studies. Not sure what you have against your in-state option either but perhaps you should re-examine your thoughts on that. Best wishes on the outcome. Please do not throw the baby out with the bathwater here -- go forward and do well

alyssaz

Thanks everyone. I'm going to see what happens my umass Amherst financial aid package was really good, better than URI. I will look into PC. I'm still going to visit BU but chances are it won't work out based on what I'm reading. I'll update everyone soon.

I think everything happens for a reason and if it is meant to be than it's meant to be

thumper1

Good luck to you! It sounds like things are falling into place!

teachandmom

OP, and howsefrau32, I was a kid from a poorer family, having to wait tables on my wealthy classmates during college. It may hurt to hear the truth, but a family that makes 17,000 isn't even "solidly middle class". They are poor. To be a poor student who doesn't have the money for the clothes, all the activities, the road trips, the shopping trips, and all the other extras that wealthy kids enjoy at the top schools is so difficult to deal with. It is a constant reminder that while you may attend classes at the same school, you are having a completely different college experience from those around you. Sorry, we all see the world from our own experiences. I still see wealthy kids who get to choose their college without concern about debt and affordability, but purely based on which school they like the best. Girls in particular can be horrible to each other, and I experienced that first hand waiting tables at dinner to classmates who complained because their $200 a week allowance was late as they rolled their eyes at me because I was trying to clear their dishes before going to do my homework for the night. When you are a poor kid, you don't have a yacht or second home to invite friends to over spring break, etc. Sorry, but you have to admit, the top schools, with many wealthy students, are a tough place to be. They are competitive in and out of the classroom. And seeking out the other low-income students to befriend can be near impossible, because very few want to let on that they don't come from the same background. My roommate once even asked if I wanted to borrow clothes, because her designer label stuff would be much more enjoyable to wear...I could go on. I loved my LAC, and am so proud of my college experience, but it was tougher than it needed to be in many ways too...

sylvan8798

I grew up in pretty destitute poverty as well. When I was looking to transfer from cc to university, one of the schools I was accepted to and visited was an expensive private (not ivy, but still $$$$). It was lovely, but I really didn't feel as if I would fit in there. People were wearing very expensive clothes, talked about doing things and having been places that were out of my $$ league, and many of them went home to the megalopolis on weekends, so there wasn't that much weekend activity on campus. I just felt like I wasn't really one of them, although they seemed nice enough.

thumper1

I also grew up in a single family household. My roommates family was worth TENS OF MILLIONS of dollars. We remain friends to this day. Somehow her wealth and my lack of same did NOT matter. She never worked a day in college and I worked 30 hours a week sometimes. I had many friends at my school from all different economic levels. To be honest...I never really knew the level of wealth of my roommate or many of my friends until WELL after we graduated from college. It just wasn't important to us.

You know...different kids have different experiences. Mine was a very positive one.

cptofthehouse

I came from a very middle income family. I worked in the cafeteria for a good part of my years at a school where a lot of the kids came from millionaire families. Some of my best friends came from such families. And, as with THumper, it was not a big deal at all. I don't think we thought about it much.

But I will say, that things are very different now. More kids live the rich life even when their parents are not. When they get to college, that 's when things really get sticky, because it's not as easy to keep up with those who are truly well to do when that nut of a college cost is right there. I know that kids don't eat at the cafeteria like we used to have to do. That's a great equalizer right there. And more parents are subsidizing some pretty nice digs for their kids. More cars on campus, and more luxuries for college kids. I know when I went to college, there weren't that many kids who stuck out as poor or rich. It was very much an income leveling experience.

If this is an issue to you, check out the college scenes and don't pick one that seems offensive to you. Will tell you, however, that this is an issue that will come up in life, if your student wants to go into "worlds" and work places that have more well to do families. I remember when DH was first working, and we had the little ones, we were really strapped and seeing families with generous grandparents and lots of family support made us realize what a difference that could make. There wasn't a dime that came into our household that was not earned by DH or myself, and not a service we got that we did not have to pay for. We were in a strange city where we hardly knew a soul and this was a pattern throughout the years as we moved for DH's jobs. Until you get some network going, it is tough, having to do it all yourself.

My son who lives in NYC has trust fund kids as friends who are living in apartments and condos that are pure luxury as well as some friends who are homeless. Many are struggling with student loans, and he is not, but he doesn't have a parental check that many do. But he has a home and family a half hour away that can supplement if he's truly down and out. He seems to move seamlessly among the different types of people.

mom2collegekids

I came from a very middle income family. I worked in the cafeteria for a good part of my years at a school where a lot of the kids came from millionaire families. Some of my best friends came from such families. And, as with THumper, it was not a big deal at all. I don't think we thought about it much.

But I will say, that things are very different now. More kids live the rich life even when their parents are not. When they get to college, that 's when things really get sticky, because it's not as easy to keep up with those who are truly well to do when that nut of a college cost is right there. I know that kids don't eat at the cafeteria like we used to have to do. That's a great equalizer right there. And more parents are subsidizing some pretty nice digs for their kids. More cars on campus, and more luxuries for college kids. I know when I went to college, there weren't that many kids who stuck out as poor or rich. It was very much an income leveling experience.


I agree. I went to Catholic K-12, and we were middle-class. When I was in high school, the "rich kids" were the doctors' kids who all sent their D's to my all-girls prep school. These girls didn't act badly, and their school clothes were limited to our uniforms (an equalizer), but the moment they turned 16, a new car was purchased (not BMWs like today) and they did have better weekend clothes than the rest of us (but not "designer" or designer purses). I used to joke to my doctor daughter best friend that I thought her mom went into the junior section at a nearby fine dept store and said, "I'll take one of each in size 6."

That said, it's different now. There are soooo many more ways to "show wealth"....iPhones, iPads, designer purses, designer clothes, fancier cars with all the options, mani/pedis, streaked hair, rarely eating in the dining halls (which has become equivalent to HS kids who take the bus vs HS kids who have cars....the "cool kids" eat off-campus. ha ha).

And, Cptofthehouse is right...now middle class kids have some of these things...Smart phones with data plans, designer handbags, cars, etc.... I call it the Small Family Syndrome. In my day, families were larger so middle class families couldn't buy any "extras"....now that families are smaller, middle class kids have a number of the luxury items. And, a number of middle-class kids aren't even expected to have part-time jobs...they, too, get allowances and have "daddy's credits cards" for emergencies and gasoline.

In my day, it wasn't an issue at a school when the majority were middle class, the few poor were on working scholarship, and some are rich....since the majority of us were in the same boat....just having the basics. Now, the rich and middle class have "the extras" while the poor have very few.

The elites try to equalize the situation by meeting need without loans and such, but even they know that it's a problem. I believe that Amherst's president was even considering funding clothing for poor students and providing airplane tickets and clothing to the parents for parents weekend. While I thought the idea was a little over the top, even he recognized that simply providing for COA doesn't stop the obvious differences between the haves and the have-nots.

Again, I don't know about BU....but since it is a pricey school that doesn't "meet need", I suspect that it has its fair share of affluent or upper-middle class kids.....because the regular middle class and poor can't afford to attend.

1moremom

I think a great deal depends on the kid. My son went to an ivy and god knows there were many kids from wealthy families who traveled on the breaks, wore expensive clothing, had iPhones as soon as they came out. He came home on breaks, wears tee shirts and jeans every day and still has a cheap phone (while fully funding an IRA on a grad student stipend). He found kids whom he was comfortable with and shared interests with. Some were wealthy, some were far from it. If a student feels he is not accepted because he is not invited to join one of the private clubs or is not able to rent a limo for dances perhaps that says more about his values (or perhaps, lack of self esteem) than it does about the general culture on campus.

thumper1

I know plenty about BU. My kid graduated from there. He had friends from all walks of life. To be honest, I'm not sure he ever knew anyone else's family incomes. None of his friends had cars or personally bought condos. Folks all use the T in Boston. We are not uber wealthy, nor are we in the poor house.

While BU does not meet need for ALL students as clearly stated, they DO meet need for some, and if your admissions application is a particularly strong one, your chances of having your need met increase (as noted in that article).

mom2collegekids

@1moremom

I think it's different for girls....they have more ways to show affluence on a daily basis....hair, nails, shoes, purses, etc.