dodgersmom

???

Just to clarify, father's only contribution to college expenses thus far has been . . . nothing.

mathmomvt

Perhaps chelssd is referring to the father raising 5 kids with no financial support from their mother?

momofthreeboys

Correct, the father was custodial parent. The mom didn't pay the required child support, owes the father back child support and the father has 4 other kids to support. The father feels like he's done enough. The mother is clearly has not stepped up nor is in a position to step up which is why people are suggesting to the OP that the practical thing to do is to take the federal direct loans...and I agree. We hear this story over and over although more often it's the mom who got custody and the former H isn't contributing and claims he hasn't any money...this one is just reversed.

PatheticHopeFul

Yeah, I say take out the loans, Apple. It's your best bet with the way you situation is, atm. Don't rely on your parents or you'll end up regretting it. best of luck =)

AppleBeam

I apologize about making a similar thread to the one I posted a few weeks ago, I just didn't feel like I fleshed out my circumstances well enough on that one and I wanted to hear the CC community's' opinion about my case.

I'll probably take out the Stafford (assuming that my parents are unwilling to pay) and hope to pay if off with summer employment next year. However, I don't think I'll tell them this, because if at all possible I'd like them to at least contribute something if just a few hundred dollars. I know it's unlikely, but if I have a remaining balance on a Stafford, would it "roll over" to next year?

annasdad

No, it won't roll over. It's use it or lose it.

AppleBeam

Oh, I see. Can Staffords be used towards indirect, personal expenses or is it just for Tuition or R&B?

swimcatsmom

Yes. Your financial aid, including loans, is based on the COA of the school. The COA generally includes allowances for travel and personal or miscellaneous expenses. The way it works is that the semester's direct charges from the school (tuition, room and board etc) will be charged to your account and the semester's FA, including loans, will be credited to your account. If the FA exceeds the charges, the difference will be refunded to you. If the charges exceed the FA, you have to pay the balance.

cptofthehouse

Applebeam, none of this is fair. Forget fair. You need to deal with the hard facts of the situation at hand regardless of how fair it is and isn't.

Your mother does not have the money or the wherewithal to pay for your college on a consistent basis. You cannot squeeze water out of stone. You have seen first hand what the results have been in trying to get her to pay what she legally owes, is court ordered in child support. You really think she's going to be able to suddenly start paying you? You might get some money here and there from her as she has it and if you are lucky enough to be right there to get it from her when she has it. I wouldn' t tell her about the loans but just try to get her to pay whatever you can get out of her. I hope you are more successful than your father has been. But I think you know well, that you are not going to get anything on a consistent basis from your mother.

Your father doesn't have it either. His income is not a whole lot for raising all of you kids. Maybe he has a stash of something somewhere, and I hope he does. If he does, I wouldn't recommend that he spend it on your college. He needs some emergency money, given the responsibilities he has trying to raise you kids.

The fact of the matter, is that your parents cannot afford to pay for college for you. I don't care what any calculators say they should be paying. From the info you have given, they are pretty much strapped, and your mother is really very low income and could be living in a shelter in the future. It doesn't look good for her at all. It is laughable to even think she is going to be able to contribute to college.

The money just isn't there.

So the choice is that you find a less expensive, more affordable option, or you find a way to pay for the college yourself. You are fortunate in that the gap seems to be doable without involving your parents. You should be working right now, should have been in high school, for money for yourself, to take the pressure off your dad. And you'll have to work all through college too. That is the economical situation your family has. The money isn't going to fly off the trees in to your lap.

I agree it is unfair, and I'm sorry that a bright, hardworkig student like you has to deal with this, but there is nothing I can see that can be done. Get what you can from your parents, but understand that you will need alternative plans and that you cannot count on them to pay for anything for you. They don't have it.

lookingforward

Breathe. You are the kid in this picture. You are not responsible for the crap between your parents. It's juvenile. Imagine: kid gets in to a great school, aid is superb, even extraordinary-- and Dad starts arguing that he shouldn't pay his measly portion. Are they happy for you?

Take the loan because you deserve this education. We said all that already. It's not your responsibility to cover your parents' silly argumentative foot stomping butts. But, it is your chance to go to this great college. What would you do, end college to avoid about 27k in loans? I don't want either one of them to be able to use your dashed college dreams as yet another chance to point a finger at the other- just to continue a useless tantrum. Show them you are not in the middle now.

Yes, you should be working right now.

AppleBeam

I was working for about 3 weeks at a McDonalds, but my hours were not enough and it was very difficult to get there without a car for myself (I had friends drop me). I had to quit. It's really difficult to find a job here, a lot of employers just don't have enough spots left open. I'm still looking but I don't think I'll find anything.

MD Mom

You might also get a job as an RA, resident assistant, after your first or second year. That usually pays a good portion if not all of your room and board.

cptofthehouse

You need to find a job. Yes, it's hard to get to work. Yes, it's hard to get rides. But you have to do it. You have to scrounge for rides, beg for them to get to work. Hopefully, in time you find someone who can give your rides as you may live on their way.

I have so many kids that they HAD to get rides for a lot of things. They walked for 3 to get to work, get to the train station .. That's what it takes.

What would you be doing right now if you did not have college in the picture? Just sitting at home doing nothing? I see kids who sit like princes all summer waiting for college to begin. What the heck is with that? You find a job and work as though you have to do so to get out of that house.

kayf

Cpt, did I not understand this right? If a Stafford loan will cover his costs, why does he has to work? I agree work would be good, but is it critical?

Apple, really sorry, yes this is not fair, but a Stafford loan is not the end of the world. Dont take anything more than that, try to work summers (you can always pay down loan early, or just save) and try to get RA job as an upperclassman.

If your dad has been trying to get $$ from mom to no avail, I dont see much liklihood that you can. Yes, it stinks. And I do understand your dad with 4 other kids at home.

thumper1

KayF...the stafford loan almost covers the cost for this student to attend this college. There is a small amount left for the family to pay, but this student should be able to save some money on those costs... Things like books, personal expenses, transportation.

Apple... Take the stafford loan and hopefully between any babysitting money and all contributions from your parents when they can, you will be all set.