sybbie719

Op will not be considered an independent student until she turns 24 (in ~4 years). She will still need her parents income/assets to apply for financial aid or have 30k/yr in after tax $ to pay for school herself.

mom2collegekids

The student needs to ask for a gap year at her private school. She also needs to ask if the school would rescind the gap year if she attended a CC in the meantime.

Two years ago, a MIT frosh left due to some Depression issues and was granted a one year of absence. While home, he attended a local CC taking a few classes. He had the classes transferred to MIT, and MIT rescinded his grant for absence. (One wonders what would have happened if he had returned to MIT and then at some later point, had those CC classes transferred in, what MIT would have done....or if he had never had them transferred in).

CTScoutmom

If he had returned without transferring in those CC classes, he would have been fine. The issue was that he took a leave of absence and then wanted to earn credit during that leave of absence. Most college have policies regarding taking courses elsewhere during a leave, and you have to make sure you understand those policies before you ask to transfer credits back. I don't know if the freshman you're referring to returned with an Associates degree, or just classes, but if he returned with an Associates degree, most places would consider him a transfer.

mom2collegekids

^^^

No, he only returned with about 9 credits from a CC.

The family just hadn't read the fine print about not going to school while he took the year off to "get well." I think they were so overwhelmed by going from, "wow, our kid is going to MIT", to "our kid is suffering from depression', to "we have to quickly get him home and well" that they didn't think to read details and just thought, "he's been told he can return next year."

mathmomvt

It's pretty harsh that they didn't let the kid return! What harm would there have been if they'd just said "if you want to come back, great, but you can't use your CC credits from when you were on leave". Sure, following directions is important and all, but, like I said, harsh. I'm guessing the realization that he couldn't go back did not help with the kid's depression

mom2collegekids

^^

Exactly...and worse because he was dawdling about sending his CC transcript that summer, and his parents got on his case, so he finally did it, and it ended up being his un-doing. So, not only affected his depression recovery, but has caused a lot of "in-home blame game" because of it.

The mom, an atty, feels just AWFUL that her nagging about sending those transcripts (which were totally not necessary) caused the whole problem. It's rather obvious that if he had just returned and had never sent his CC transcript (or sent much later), the school wouldn't have done a dang thing.

mathmomvt

ugh, that must be awful for all involved Hope the kid found another awesome path for himself!

dodgersmom

Sheesh, that MIT story is bad. Really makes you hope there is something better out there waiting for him.

Yes, it's called the Magic Money Tree Bank . . . and you can find it in Fantasy Land.

mom2collegekids

^^^

lol...

steellord321

Yeah i really don't know the logic being MIT doing that. Nine credits at a CC over a year hardly proves that he was lying about needing to go home for that time.

mom2collegekids

^^^
Right. and the reason for him taking those classes was to see how he handled it.

mathmomvt

Wow, I don't even know this family and that MIT story is still really bothering me! Considering the mom's a lawyer, I'm sure they exhausted any appeals or even legal avenues that may have been open to them. It still seems so unreasonable to me. Poor kid.

nmehta98

Community College is an option.

unctarheels

I can't believe no one here has yet focused on the fact that it's the STEPFATHER getting in the way here. The OP said her mother told her before that they would continue paying for her college education. And now suddenly they decide not to? Add to that the fact that her stepfather is the one telling her to get out of the house. Other posters keep referring to "her parents" but it isn't unreasonable to consider that one of those "parents" might not have the OP's best interests in mind as a real parent would. I don't know any parents who truly love and want the best for their child that would both refuse to pay tuition when they're fully capable of doing so AND want to kick their child out of the house. It sounds as though the OP's mother isn't fully on board with this plan, but she's under a lot of pressure from her spouse.

What I would do is make a sincere emotional appeal to your mom ALONE. She's your mom. She doesn't want you living on the streets. She doesn't want you starving. She doesn't want you to end up in jail for selling drugs. She doesn't want to cut off all ties with you and never see you again. I think a good mother would put their child's interests above those of her spouse. I don't think there's any way you'll have the finances to go back to school in the fall, but the important thing is to make sure you have a roof over your head. Do everything you can to continue living at home. I know your type. I AM your type. I've had everything paid for me my whole life; I've never had a job. There is NO way I could survive on my own if my parents suddenly disowned me and kicked me out. Be smart about this, and forget your pride. Live at home, pay your parents rent, lay low, and go back to school whenever they decide you can.

lerkin

I am sorry unctarheels,

but I respectfully disagree with your assessment of situation with the step-dad. Given that the mom and step-dad paid for college in the past and the child did not even have to work, I assume that something really out of ordinary happened for the step-dad to put the their foot down and convince mom to do the same.

Sometimes kids need to learn tough lessons. The fact that OP does not understand how not paying for college and kicking her out makes her face consequences like an adult, tells me that mom and step-dad are making the right decision.

I do agree with your last several sentences. OP needs to be respectful to both parents, get a job and show both mom and step-dad that she is more responsible now than before.