kristiuna

Hello guys!

I just received email from one of the LAC colleges and they said that i should also send "letter from a third part (like a counselor, a member of the clergy or another professional familiar with your family's situation). "

Can this person be a teacher,who had everyday contact with me?

Who would be the most appropriate person if we didn't have any counselors?

My mother has a clergy,who knows of her husbands neglect attitude.But he doesn't know much....

So who would you suggest to write a letter?

mom2collegekids

How long has the teacher known you and your family?

The person is supposed to have known your family very well for a very long time and knows first hand that the NCP has not been in the family's life..financially or physically (both). The person has to certify that the NCP has not spoken, visited, or financially supported the family for many, many years. Usually a teacher isn't going to have that info...at least not first hand.

Is this your bio dad? You say "her husband".

What's the story? When was the last time you saw or spoke with your dad? When was the last time the family or you received any financial support?

Do you have a long time neighbor or someone else (not related) who knows that your bio dad hasn't been involved with the family?

NCP waivers are hard to get. If your dad occasionally calls, visits, etc, then getting a waiver may not happen.

Be sure to protect yourself by ALSO applying to schools that don't require NCP info and still will be affordable.


I see that you're an int'l applicant. Some of these schools may be "need aware" for int'ls. Not sure if being an int'l will make it harder to get a waiver, too.

kristiuna

Thanks for the answer!

My parents divorced 10 years ago.Then my bio father disappeared and we have not received any kind of support(neither financial nor emotional) from him.
We don't know anything about him...So his new marital status is unknown for us..
...
Who would be such kind of person?
Maybe neighbor ?

mom2collegekids

Have you had any of the same neighbors for the last 5-10 years that know your family well enough to honestly state that your bio dad has abandoned the family completely?

BTW..what about your dad's parents or siblings...do they know where he is?

If you could provide maybe 2-3 letters (clergy, neighbors, etc) stating that your dad has been completely out of your family's life for 10 years, that might be more influencing than just one letter.

I would have them state who they are, what kind of work they do, how long they've known your family, etc...


But, again, getting the waiver is only a small part of the battle. These schools admit few students. You're an int'l and these schools are "need aware" for int'ls. If you have a lot of need (which it sounds like you do), you may not get admitted just for that reason.

If you have the stats for top LACs, then you may have the stats for large merit scholarships at other schools. Those can be your back up schools.

kristiuna

Thanks for kind advice!

Yes,we have same neighbors for many many years

Probably they know where he is...We don't have contact with them either,but i think theoretically it will not be impossible to contact them and ask for information...

sybbie719

You wrote that the your clergy man knows about your mom's husband neglectful attitude. I guess this means that you have a stepdad. His information must be included in the financial aid forms, regardless of whether or not he wants to pay fit you to attend school.

Many schools do not accept 3rd party letters from neighbors or family friends. Op would be best served meeting with her GC to get the non custodial waiver for her bio dad. Counselors write these letters all of the time.

mom2collegekids

Krist...

Can you clarify?

Do you have a stepdad also?

Or when you wrote about your mom's husband, did you mean your bio dad?

Are your parents legally divorced? Or did he leave and the legal divorce never happened? If they are legally divorced, was he ordered to pay child support? Did he just ignore the order?

kristiuna

No, my mother has never remarried.I mean my bio father who neglected us.

They were legally divorced but my mother never asked him to pay aliments.

In my country there doesn't exist "counslor tradition"...They are not actively involved in anything here.
That's why i thought using neighbors or clergy to write letters.

dodgersmom

The letters just need to be from someone who

(1) is familiar with your family's situation, and

(2) would be deemed objective and reliable.

In other words, the college wants to get the facts from someone who has no interest in whether or not you qualify for financial aid and who, perhaps because of their occupation, could be considered a reliable source.

Just do the best you can . . . getting statements from a few different people if necessary.

For example, someone from your school might be able to say, "In all the years that Kristiuna has been a student here, we've never seen the father. The only person we've ever met is the mother." That does not, standing alone, prove that your father has been gone for 10 years, but it provides additional, objective support for the statement of the neighbor (or grocer or mailman) that father hasn't been seen for years.

kristiuna

dodgersmom

Thanks a lot !

Could you tell how many words in a single letter would be appropriate ?
Maybe, 100 words ?

dodgersmom

It should only be as long as necessary to tell: (1) who the person is who is writing the letter; (2) how that person knows your family; (3) how long he or she has known your family; and (4) what he or she knows about your father's involvement or lack of involvement, support, etc.

Shorter is always better . . . as long as all the necessary information is included.

And you shouldn't stress about this quite so much. There is no deadline for the NCP waiver request . . . so do your best, but if what you provide isn't enough, and the school needs something else, you can always send it.

kristiuna

Thanks dodgersmom!

You really helped me with suggestions.I truly appreciate!

dodgersmom

Kristiuna - You mentioned a clergyperson. You should definitely ask him (or her) to write a letter. I would guess that a letter from this person, together with a letter from someone at your school, should be enough. That is more reliable than a neighbor . . . because anyone could say they're a neighbor, but there's no way, really, to verify that. A letter from a clergyperson or school administrator would be easy to verify.

mom2collegekids

Yes....

Schools like to see letters from people of "highly respectable" professions because the thinking is that this person isn't going to lie.

However, since you've said that your clergyman doesn't know much, his letter combined with letters from neighbors, teachers, etc, would create a small packet that would likely be accepted as very believable.

I can understand that a clergy person might not know much if interactions have been rather light..."nice sermon" and "how do you do" sort of thing.

If there were a way to also indicate that there hasn't been contact or support given, that may also help. Not sure how that could be proven.