Scholarship Essay Help?!
I'm applying for scholarships at a local university and I need help with my essay! Sorry if this is a lot to read but any help is appreciated!
Tell us about an intellectual challenge that has mattered to you- an idea that you have wrestled with and explored independently. How have you resolved it, and what impact has it had on your plans for the future?
My essay rough draft:
I watched as she made mistake after mistake throughout the years. She went from low self-esteem and anorexia to partying and alcohol to letting a man push her around. My sister may not be what one would consider a role model, but she's what inspired me to become what I am today. Seeing the things that got her into trouble helped me realize that I need to stay strong and believe in who I am, not letting peer pressure influence me into anything else. This has been something I struggled with during my first few years of high shcool.
When I was a freshman, everything was changing. It was a confusing time in my life. I began to let others get the best of me (I'm not sure if that is the best wording here???), but it didn't take me long to realize I was going down the wrong path. Noticing that this was exactly how my sister's problems had started, I took a 180-degree turn for the better, and tried my best to stay that way.
Many people expected me to end up being just like my sister. For many people who have siblings like mine, they will fall into those stereotypes. While I chose to look at my sister as what not to become, others viewed her as someone they'd like to be like, like my friends did. They would come over to my house and be negatively influenced by my sister's actions. I always tried my best to stop this from happening, but I would seldom succeed. Now many of the people that surrounded me were bad influences. All I could do was face the daily challenge of not becoming something I didn't want to be. Eventually I drifted apart from my friends who continued to make bad decisions, and though it wasn't easy to let them go, I began to make new friends. By this point, my junior year was just ending.