Non-custodial parents and financial aid woes - Page 2

Sequoia · 04-29-2008, 03:40 PM

galoisen: Did you send documentation to the college that child support payments would end this year?
It made a big difference to my D's fin aid award, even if FAFSA, CSS did not reflect that.
I suggest you call the finaid dept at your college and clarify that. It's paperwork that wasn't initially required until I sent my D's college a special circumstances letter. In sending the document, our finaid was increased.

galoisien · 04-29-2008, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Just curious - how is the father "negligent" if he made his child support payments?

If the father left the family and does not see his kid(s) that can be considered a moral issue, but not negligence if the financial obligations are met.

Because the amount we're receiving (11,000 a year) is hardly enough to support the family. That's precisely the point -- at the time, we wanted to win over sole custody from an abusive parent (the court has ordered that all contact with us must be supervised). The father is paying the bare minimum, which I want to argue is inadequate given the lack of factoring in education costs.

(The father, btw, was the sole breadwinner, so he thought he had complete power over us ... I don't want to recount the amount of abuses he committed right here, if you please...)

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Once you turn 18 the game changes.

But then I should be free from dependency status too!

TrinSF · 04-29-2008, 04:13 PM

I don't know about suing, but do ask for a non-custodial parent information waiver, or at least tell your financial aid office about the situation. My children have a similar situation: while my ex pays a token amount of child support (about 2K a year), he ended all contact with the children years ago. We have no contact information for him (he pays support to his state, who gives it to my state, who gives it to us). By explaining the situation (including other private details not mentioned here), we were able to have most schools waive the non-custodial information.

CC'ers will frequently say that it's impossible to get a waiver, but ask anyway.

galoisien · 04-29-2008, 04:15 PM

Sequola: I will try to clarify that -- the application form did ask for when child support payments would end. If there are other things that might change over the course of the year (such as the entry of my sister the year after mine), does it become easier to work out changes in person, once I'm already in?

My current preliminary financial aid award (til I get my green card renewal processed) will leave me with a 24k debt in loans, which is not horrible for four years, but not extremely good either, and the entry of the non-custodial parent would reduce my award, but it would target the loans first.

Of course, maybe if I want to bite the bullet and take the 24k debt, which I am content to accept but not like totally elated, I suppose I could keep my pride and rub it in my "father"'s face later when I lead my own life; he would know he had no part in fostering any of it ...

cptofthehouse · 04-29-2008, 04:31 PM

Galoisien, none of this is fair. It isn't fair to any child to be in a family that gets torn apart by divorce. The rules try to protect and be fair, but there are always groups that do not get fair treatment.

If you can get a consultation with an attorney, you can get a better idea about whether a suit is worthwhile or not.

The whole financial aid thing is terribly unfair to kids. If you are unlucky enough to have parents who won't or can't pay, you are severely disadvantaged. Kids with parents who have the means to pay but don't feel like doing so, are stuck. Though you are over 18, financial dependence as defined by financial aid is age 24 most of the time. Crazy in my book, but them's the rules for everyone who does not fall in a small exception category. As for having a divorced parent who is uncooperative, having an intact set that are not willing to pay is just as unhelpful. You are entitled to grants and loans via government since FAFSA does not include the noncustodial parent's income or assets.

anothermom2 · 04-29-2008, 04:45 PM

Matrimonial is not my field, however, at least one state that allows for a forced payment by the non custodial parent, held in a court decision something to the effect that in an ongoing marriage, the contribtion by the parents is voluntary, but that circumstances might dictate a forced contribution in a divorce. In that case, I believe that the parents both were college educated (maybe even grad school, I don't remember), and the court said that it was not an unreasonable expectation for the father (in that case) to expect to pay for the college education. However, this of course came about as a result of a lawsuit. I wouldn't expect others to just follow through voluntarily, even in that state. Going to court takes time, money, etc.

nurseratchet · 04-29-2008, 08:15 PM

Just because a state has that law in effect, doesn't mean a judge would rule in favor of forced support. You are looking at thousands of dollars in atty fees and a long time. The best case scenario might be a ruling in your favor which could equal an award of 1/2 of what your in state tuition might cost. The legal fees could be much higher than that. No state would rule someone has to pay for you to go to the college of your choice. Remember if you see an atty for a consultation they may tell you anything you want to hear. Good luck and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

bondgirl · 04-29-2008, 11:25 PM

I am in a terrible predicament. My ex lied about submitting his noncustodial paperwork to the school my son was accepted to. We still haven't received an aid offer yet. According to the school, we might not even get aid because he didn't turn it in before the deadline. The school has a policy of meeting full need with grants, instead of loans for students with our income level. Instead, it looks like I'm going to be shelling out 50K this year because ex is trying to spite me. (My son didn't apply to any state schools because the private schools were going to be much cheaper due to FA). I am seriously looking into taking him to court. The finaid.org site and some other sites I looked at says that the ncp is legally responsible for 1/2 of college expenses regardless of the college the child chooses. Even if I had to sustain some legal fees, it would be worth it considering the amount of money at stake. Does anyone know what agency enforces the payments? Is it the same as child support payments? Ex is about 10 years behind on payments, and the state hasn't been very efficient at collecting them. If the same agency enforces college payments, then it probably wouldn't do me any good even if I did win in court.

galoisien · 04-30-2008, 12:51 AM

Wow, you definitely deserve more sympathy than I. At least my "father" doesn't pretend to be caring ...

Are you comfortable releasing the name of the school? I'm just curious because then perhaps the others here might be familiar with other policies that might kick in. My school was rather lenient with me (I was totally overwhelmed to the point that I sent in my app many weeks after the deadline...!), but have you met or talked with specific counsellors who might have the authority to decide special situations (or have the funds been totally allocated?)

Quote:

Ex is about 10 years behind on payments, and the state hasn't been very efficient at collecting them

My situation is not as bad (my "father" has been cheating us out of a few thousand every year for seven years by creating a time-lag among payments and paying at irregular intervals), but I do wonder if this is a national problem that needs to be rectified with greater recourse, because it's also a great trouble enforcing child support obligations (especially now that he, as I last recall, is out of state).

Paying 50k is your worst case scenario, yes? Has the school not gotten back to you yet? I had rather grim projections twice this year, due to special circumstances I had trouble getting my schools to recognise at different stages of the admissions process, but if your school is anywhere near as understanding as mine, some relief may be in store ahead as well.

I'm only a teenager so pardon me for my natural tendency to come up with often infeasible ideas (hence this thread), but other options (before going to court) may be going to the press, contacting his employer or his colleagues (if they have anywhere near the integrity and mores that you have), should your pleading with the school not work out. That at least costs no money, compared to hiring a lawyer.

Quote:

The finaid.org site and some other sites I looked at says that the ncp is legally responsible for 1/2 of college expenses regardless of the college the child chooses.

Is this just for your state? Because if can apply to my situation, I don't know what I've been missing out on ...

I hope you CC'ers will pardon me for my inquiries. I am not in dire dire need of college support from my non-custodial parent (he could have done that when we really were in dire dire need 6 years ago, 3 years ago, or even 6 months ago, so we could have afforded to renew our green cards) and 24k of debt is palatable, whereas bondgirl's situation is far more dire. Still however, I wonder how I would go about even making the inquiry to low-cost advisors (such as the aforementioned legal aid or local bar association). The idea of suing my father to pay for my college education was a product of a capricious thought today while reflecting on the estimate I got back plus jealousy at my friends' intact home situations. Would they treat a 17-year-old HS senior's requests seriously? (I don't want to add to my mother's already substantial and stressful to-do list.) I do have other existing grievances with my father (such as late child support payments and cheated money, and his role in the legal debacle that resulted in the unjust loss of our house), and we haven't been pursuing them aggressively because my mother simply has had neither the time nor energy to fight two battles (one for subsistence, one with my father) again.

Muffy333 · 04-30-2008, 05:45 AM

Again, try to get confirmation of the law from an attorney in your state. And because its a fairly common issue in divorce settlements or decrees, a matrimonial lawyer might just give you the quick answer without charging you...check legal clinics that might handle matrimonial law or call the local bar association.

I think finaid.org is maybe stating rules from the college's point of view that both parents "have" tp pay equally.

bondgirl · 04-30-2008, 08:08 AM

Galoisien- I don't want to reveal the name of the University, because I work there. My coworkers read these boards, and I don't want them to figure out who I am :-)

Quote:
The finaid.org site and some other sites I looked at says that the ncp is legally responsible for 1/2 of college expenses regardless of the college the child chooses.

Sorry-I forgot to specify that I live in one of the states where this is law. Here is the exact wording from the finaid.org site: "The courts will generally order the ex-spouse to pay half of the college costs regardless of the institution chosen by the child."

Galoisien- you are very right about problems collecting child support being a national problem. You wouldn't believe all the hoops my state made me go through just to start getting my support order enforced. I imagine the process is much more difficult for someone with less resources (and education) than myself, which is sad because those are the people that need support the most. And I have found out it is pretty easy for the NCP to skirt payments, even when under state enforcement. Added to that, I recently received a letter from the federal government that they are going to start taking a small fee ($25/yr, I think) out of everyone's child support payments (that are collected through state agencies) to help pay down the federal deficit!!!!

Anyway, if we don't get an FA offer by the end of the week, I will be consulting a lawyer. This has been an interesting thread!

pretzelbreaker · 04-30-2008, 11:27 AM

A non-custodial parent waiver form is the next best thing. It's not impossible to get one -- I got one from every single one of the nine schools I applied to, and they all acknowledged it.

My circumstances are pretty similar to yours. Like you, I haven't seen my father for many, many years, but he is disabled and on unemployment from the government. This may have made it easier for me to get the waiver since he has no income and the government pays my mom the child support, not him. I have no clue to his whereabouts or home address, and neither does my mom. I'm not even legally allowed to be alone with him without someone else there, so really, the schools I applied to would make themselves look awful if they made me track him down and confront him.

Every school will have different requirements as to how to get the waiver, so call and ask FinAid. All of the schools asked for a letter from a counselor, lawyer, or clergyman that summarized and verified the circumstances. Some asked for the first few pages of last 3 years' tax returns in addition to that. Everyone I spoke to was very cooperative, there were no roadblocks, and it was a very easy process.

bandit_TX · 04-30-2008, 12:48 PM

Quote:

The finaid.org site and some other sites I looked at says that the ncp is legally responsible for 1/2 of college expenses regardless of the college the child chooses.

Not hardly. You think a parent making $25k a year is legally responsible to pay half of tuition because a kid wants to go to SMU instead of State U. Think again.

BUBailey · 04-30-2008, 12:56 PM

Definitely let your college know about the situation through either a sit-down conversation or a letter, or both.

I had a similar situation where the NCP can't/won't pay child support, let alone help with tuition. While he was compliant with forms etc, I just don't see any of that money. I wrote a letter to my school and they came through. Hopefully someone in FinAid will realize money you aren't receiving is money that shouldn't be counted in your EFC. No guaranteed results, but you definitely have nothing to lose.

I'm truly sorry for your situation, and I hope everything works out for you.

bluebayou · 04-30-2008, 01:21 PM

every state law is different. A quick google came up with this for NJ:

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New Jersey is among a minority of states that require divorced or separated parents to fund their children’s higher education expenses.

Since the case of Nebel v. Nebel, 103 N.J. Super. 216 (App. Div. 1968), the New Jersey Courts have found that financially able parents must contribute to their children’s college expenses. In that case, the Court allowed the custodial mother to select a private college on behalf of her son, but determined the father’s contribution based on tuition at state universities. In Finger v. Zenn, 335 N.J. Super. 438 (App. Div. 2000) the Court overturned Nebel in part, and held that the contribution of financially capable parents ought to be calculated on the tuition at the university in which the child is actually enrolled, whether public or private.

The Court, in Newburgh v. Arrigo, 88 N.J. 529 (1982), delineated the specific criteria to be considered in determining whether parents are legally obligated to fund higher education expenses:

• Whether the parent, if still living with the child, would have contributed toward the costs of the requested higher education;
• The effect of the background, values and goals of the parent on the reasonableness of the expectation of the child for higher education;
• The amount of the contribution sought by the child for higher education;
• The ability of the parent to pay that cost;
• The relationship of the requested contribution to the kind of school or course of study sought by the child; • The financial resources of both parents;
• The commitment to and aptitude of the child for the requested education;
• The financial resources of the child, including assets owned individually or held in custodianship or trust;
• The ability of the child to earn income during the school year or on vacation;
• The availability of financial aid in the form of college grants and loans;
• The child’s relationship to the paying parent, including mutual affection and shared goals as well as responsiveness to parental advice and guidance;
• The relationship of the education requested to any prior training and to the overall long-range goals of the child; and
• Contribution made to household expenses by the current spouse of either parent [Hudson v. Hudson, 315 N.J. Super. 577 (App. Div. 1998)].

Generally, Courts will hold all financially able parents responsible for contributing to the college expenses of qualified students. However, in instances where children have had no relationship with a parent, and the parent is not involved in the child’s decision to attend college and where, Courts have held that parent not responsible for the child’s higher education expenses. For example, in Moss v. Nedas, 289 N.J. Super. 352 (App. Div. 1996), the Court refused to hold the father responsible for any portion of his daughter’s college expenses after finding that she had excluded him from all of the decisions leading up to her enrollment.

Divorced Parents' Responsibility to Fund Higher Education Expenses : New Jersey Law Blog