Noncustodial Parent Issue

rockermcr · 10-30-2009, 10:15 PM

I'm applying to Yale EA, and I've been so busy with my application (which is finally submitted!) that I haven't had the chance to look over financial aid stuff in great depth. So, long story short, my parents are divorced and my relationship with my father is strained at best. I do have his phone number and could contact him if necessary, but I'd rather avoid this. I don't have any information regarding his personal finances, employment, or even his address.

Yale requires that students submit the Noncustodial Parent for of the CSS (if applicable, of course) but, if my understanding is correct, my father would have to fill this out himself. I'd rather forgo this situation altogether, and was wondering if this would be at all possible. I don't want to misrepresent myself in my CSS profile and say that I have no means of contacting him, and so I'm not entirely sure of what I should do.

Any advice?

P.S. I'm very unfamiliar with this specific subsection of CC, and I apologize if this is an issue that is commonly addressed. Feel free to direct me to any threads you think would be helpful.

THANK YOU.

'rentof2 · 10-30-2009, 10:23 PM

You will have to contact him to fill out the non-custodial parent form. It's not as easy as just saying you don't have contact with him.

You can let him know, though, that neither you nor your mother will have any access to or any knowledge of the information he reports. Nor does it obligate him to pay anything.

I mean, the college will take his income and assets into account when figuring your FA, but that doesn't mean he has to pay it. Just by filling it out, he's not agreeing to anything.

rockermcr · 10-30-2009, 10:29 PM

Thanks so much for your speedy response.

Hmm... Okay. So, although I have his phone number, I haven't spoken to him in a number of months and I really don't intend to. Would this count as not having contact with him?

Now a question in regards to deadlines: if I submit my portion of the profile on time for the due date (this Sunday), would it be okay if he gets his in later? As well, if he doesn't fill his out at all (yes, he is that unreliable), what would happen to my financial aid package?

mom2collegekids · 10-30-2009, 10:49 PM

Having his phone number indicates that you can contact him.

You need to call him and ask for his address or email or whatever so that you can get this info to him.

Your F/A package will probably be in jeopardy if he doesn't fill out the forms.

Frankly, I'm surprised that someone (your GC or someone) didn't explain all this to you before you applied ED. Not having his info could be a problem.

You need to make sure that you also apply to some financial safeties and some schools that only take FAFSA. I know that if you get accepted, you'll have to withdraw those applications, but if you don't get accepted (or the F/A package isn't viable) then you'll have other school options.

The no contact waiver is mostly for kids whose dads (or moms) have been out of their lives completely (no contact at all, no phone number, etc) for essentially their whole lives. The waiver is for abandoned kids who have no method for contacting their bio-dads or bio-moms. Typically, people can "find" their bio-parents through relatives, etc.

I realize that that may seem unfair to kids whose dads can be located, but won't pay a thing towards their college expenses. Having a "strained" relationship is not an excuse.

rockermcr · 10-30-2009, 11:01 PM

I'm sorry, but quite honestly, I don't appreciate your arrogance. First off, I'm not even applying ED. I'm applying EA, and, surprisingly, I am entirely aware of the difference between the two. As well, no one could have informed me of anything in relation to US financial aid because I am a Canadian student, and I've had to fend for myself throughout this entire process. And, as you might imagine, the stress of senior year, especially when one is applying early to a very selective college abroad, is more than slightly overwhelming. Sorry to have been a little uninformed.

Could anyone please answer my question in regards to deadlines?

'rentof2 · 10-30-2009, 11:26 PM

Rockermcr, I would just go ahead and get your Profile app in by the deadline. Contact your dad (maybe another family member could do this for you if you think it would be less strained or awkward that way.) I believe you will have a link you could email him where he can submit the information directly online. Fire off an email to the college(s) letting them know that the NCP information will hopefully be coming soon, but that you're not in a relationship with your father such that you can pressure him on the due date, however he is aware of it and your hope is that if the information arrives a bit past the deadline that it will not be too far past it.

I think that will be fine. Colleges deal with this stuff all the time. As distanced as you feel from your dad, try to find a way to let him know this means a great deal to you, and you appreciate his doing it.

Kids like you that wade through all this stuff on your own are to be admired. Good luck to you!

rockermcr · 10-30-2009, 11:42 PM

Thanks so much for your input!! I will be in touch with Yale via email to explain the situation.

One last question: my understanding is that the financial aid package I would be given on acceptance in December would only be "estimated". As such, wouldn't this leave me some more time to submit a definitive CSS profile (once 2009 taxes are in) to get my final financial aid package? I see no reason why missing the early deadline would disqualify me from financial aid altogether...

'rentof2 · 10-31-2009, 12:12 AM

The thing about the deadlines is that you get everything that is under your control in by the deadline. If your dad gets in his NCP information a few days late, or a teacher gets their rec letter in a few days late... that's usually not a problem. Colleges know you don't have control over all those things.

With EA and ED dates they don't have a lot of flexibility just because they turn those decisions around pretty quickly, but a few days when it's something out of your control will not kill you.

Some EA schools will give you your decision and an estimated FA award by their EA notification date. I have heard of EA programs where you'll get the admissions decision early, but not the FA award until the spring when everyone else gets theirs. I do not know how it works at Yale. Someone on the Yale board may know.

If you do get an early estimated award you will have to file your FAFSA (mom's info only) after the first of the year. (You can't file a FAFSA for 2010-11 until then anyway.) And your parents will also be able to update their CSS Profile information at that time, after they've got their final numbers for 2009.

Then the school will issue you a final award once that has all been done. My son did this with his ED app a couple years ago. If your projected figures are pretty accurate, your preliminary award should give you a very clear idea of what your final award will look like.

thumper1 · 10-31-2009, 09:42 AM

rent basically sums it up. You need to file that Profile and your dad needs to do the NCP Profile and please....do not miss the deadlines for the submission of these forms. Remember that the Profile also takes time to process...do it early enough that Yale has the appropriate information by the deadline.

I believe Yale does give estimated awards either with or shortly after their EA decisions come out. Someone from Yale will have to verify this. BUT Yale will not give you ANY financial aid award until the school has received ALL of the information required to process a financial aid award.

One thing you don't mention is whether or not your dad pays either child support or alimony to you or your mom. If that is the case, that also is a form of "contact". Having his phone number is "contact". Knowing his address is "contact". Schools that require the NCP info also will assume that your NCP is going to contribute to your college education financially and will use that information in the financial aid award computation.

Have you discussed finances with your mom regarding college? Do you have the financial resources to pay for Yale? Have you run your mom AND dad's figures (and yours) through one of the EFC calculators? Have you asked your parent(s) what they are able and willing to contribute annually to your college education? All of these questions need to be answered.

The good thing about Yale is it is an EA early application. You will have the ability to compare financial aid packages from other schools where you are applying before you make an enrollment decision.

Also, I don't think anyone here was being "arrogant". You are applying to a very selective university here EA. I would assume that you are able to do the necessary research regarding the financial end of this decision...especially since you are fending for yourself. The information here should be helpful to you. You may not LIKE some of what you read (e.g. that if your dad does NOT complete the forms, your aid will likely not be processed OR that your dad's income and assets WILL be considered by Yale in their finaid calculations whether he agrees to pay for part of your college expenses or not).

rockermcr · 10-31-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

If you do get an early estimated award you will have to file your FAFSA (mom's info only) after the first of the year.

As a Canadian student (with no US citizenship), I wouldn't have to fill out FAFSA, right? I thought FAFSA was only for US citizens. Thanks so much for your help!

kelsmom · 10-31-2009, 01:38 PM

Right. You need to check the school's requirements for international students.

mom2collegekids · 10-31-2009, 01:45 PM

So, what happens when a student applies to a CSS-required private school and needs F/A, but a parent (who is able to be contacted) refuses to fill out the info?

PS. I'm sorry that I misread and thought you were applying ED.

rockermcr · 10-31-2009, 01:48 PM

That's what I'm wondering. I will call Yale's financial aid office on Monday morning to explain the situation. I'll post here to tell you what they say. I'm certain there are tons of other students in my situation, and they can't all just be denied financial aid...

thumper1 · 10-31-2009, 01:57 PM

If the school requires the NCP form, and you have contact (phone or whatever) with the parent...the school likely won't process your financial aid application until your forms are complete. You should call the school to ask. I'm quite sure you aren't the only student who has had this problem.

We didn't have any issues like this. BUT when we talked to finaid folks, they were very clear...until ALL financial aid applications and supporting information are in their office, they do NOT process financial aid for a student.

rockermcr · 10-31-2009, 02:07 PM

I understand the importance of filling out all forms, and there really isn't any reason I should be exempt from the rules. I'm going to do my part and submit my profile in the next couple of hours, and then do whatever I can to ensure everything works.

Two more questions:

1. Is this type of issue something I could write about in "Explanations/Special Circumstances"?

2. This is Yale's financial aid website, detailing all requirements for Early Action applicants. Under the "Noncustodial Profile" section, it states that my father would have to submit his 2008 taxes directly to Yale. This is ONLY for my father, right? All of my mother's taxes will be detailed in our CSS profile, and I won't really need to send anything directly, right?

Does anyone have any idea what the Noncustodial Profile is like? Is it as detailed and lengthy as the regular profile?