Smoking sucks. I should know. It all started in 8th grade. I was a pretty good kid. I was well behaved and got good grades, but my social life was lacking. I had only 2 "close" friends and was desperate for more. I was especially desperate for a boyfriend. Being gay and in the closet made that difficult though. That's when I decided to take my search to the internet.
I met a 20 year old guy on a chat room. Little did I know this would be the biggest mistake of my life. He wasn't really anything special now that I realize it, but he thought I was special. He would tell me he loved me and pretty soon I said I loved him. We would be talking for hours and hours each day. I started to become dependent on him.
When I wasn't talking to him, I was waiting to talk to him, yet when we talked, we always ended up arguing and fighting. Pretty soon I spiraled into depression. He made me feel bad, but I still wanted to be with him. Now eventually he ended our "relationship" because things got too complex, but I was left an emotional wreck. To deal with the stress and pain I took up smoking.
At the time I thought there was nothing wrong with it. I knew cigarettes were bad for you, but at the time I didn't care about the consequences. Bad move. Before I knew it I was smoking more and more. It doesn't hurt that I found out about other kids smoked in my neighborhood (at the time a 6th and 7th grader) and we would a smoke together.
I completely regret all of it. My "need" for a boyfriend led me to almost fail 8th grade and smoking. Now I'm a freshman trying to change himself for the better (I'm getting great grades, being more social), but I still smoke daily. Around half a pack (10 cigs) a day and it's been about 10 months. I don't even like cigarettes anymore. They taste awful and sometimes make me gag, but I'm addicted to them. I'm afraid of what they're doing to me, but I don't know how to quit. Moral of the story? Just don't smoke. It's that easy. if you don't start, you won't get addicted.