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04-27-2008, 04:40 AM
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#1 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Threads: 23
Posts: 40
| How to manage competition between friends?
Hi, i have a problem with my friends.
my group of friends are all very high achievers, and last semester, my gpa was higher than them all. however, this semester, i'm lagging behind all of them, and have a hard time bonding with them.
i feel really competitive, and I don't know how to control this sort or irritation, annoying feeling.
has anyone been in the same position? | 
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04-27-2008, 08:01 AM
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#2 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Threads: 12
Posts: 90
| You need to realize that the moment you cross the stage at graduation, no one will ever care what your class rank could have been, should have been, would have been, or actually was.
What is the connection between being first or second or fifth or sixth and your college admissions, scholarships, and future job opportunities? Nothing.
I have friends who got into every prestigious institution they applied to/ earned full-rides with a less-than-perfect GPA/ SAT score, and I have a friends with 4.0/ near-2400 who hardly received anything.
When you look back on high school in ten years, or fifteen, or even as you make plans for that summer between 12th grade and college, what do you want to remember? Being miserable because you allowed for a pointless ranking system to govern your experience? Or do you want memories of laying the foundation of a network of close friends, a group of people you truly enjoy being around and will consider family for the rest of your life?
Seriously, get over yourself. Otherwise, if something like class rank governs your emotions now, you are in for a very unhappy future. | |
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04-27-2008, 09:10 AM
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#3 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: New York Gender: Male
Threads: 2
Posts: 52
| It's good you're taking admissions very seriously, but honestly, you should chill out a little. STOP asking your friends what grade they got on that exam, project, or essay. High school isn't all about grades.... grades are probably like 1/5 of all aspects of high school. Talk about the meaningful things of HS, and develop a bond with them. And get over it. So WHAT if they have a higher rank than you? You're still going to have a really REALLY good rank at the end. As Scuba said, what you really sacrifice memories and friends just for college admissions? | |
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04-27-2008, 09:26 AM
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#4 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Little Rock, AR Gender: Female
Threads: 5
Posts: 124
| People are going to chide you, and, in a way, you should be chided, because I think you've lost a bit of what high school is about. It's about developing relationships and memories that will last you your entire life. That aspect of high school should not be given up simply for a numbers race.
That being said, I can understand completely where you're coming from, and know that you are not alone in this sort of mindset. Whenever you get that sort of feeling, take a step back from whatever you're doing and breathe. Remember that high school is simply four years of your life. When you recall high school, do you want to remember that you lost a few friends or didn't make a couple of friends because of your obsession with numbers?
Breathe. | |
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04-27-2008, 10:11 AM
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#5 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NJ Gender: Male
Threads: 6
Posts: 68
| There's no academic competition between me and my friends, instead we always help each other out. However, there is some kind of competition between me and some kids that not NOT my friends, sounds weird, right? Like there's this kid who always thinks he's the smartest kid in the whole school and always despises me and other kids. | |
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04-27-2008, 06:56 PM
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#6 | | Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Lancaster, PA ----> Bryn Mawr, PA Gender: Female
Threads: 4
Posts: 769
| Ask to not talk about GPAs/SAT scores/grades, any of that number stuff that can lead to competition. And then just do your best for you. Competition spoils friendships. | |
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04-27-2008, 07:06 PM
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#7 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: mid-atlantic Gender: Female
Threads: 6
Posts: 82
| Here's a tip: Congratulate them on their accomplishments. If they win some silly biology game, give them a high five. If they win a Science Olympiad medal, tell them good job. Mostly congratulate them for stuff that doesn't involve you, and they'll probably subconsciously do the same for you.
Also, competitive friends usually don't work out. Really. Like, Paris and Rory from Gilmore Girls? They totally only were friends because Rory was so chill. And that was only after a long period of hate. | |
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04-28-2008, 08:12 AM
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#8 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Threads: 23
Posts: 40
| hey guys...
thanks to everybody that replied and I feel a lot better now.
I guess I've been kind of ( overly) obsessed with numbers and grades that my social life was forfeited.
and @glassesarechic, i totally agree that competitive friends don't work out..and I love watching gilmore girls  . your tips were really useful btw..i used them today.
..................................thanks again! | |
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04-28-2008, 02:49 PM
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#9 | | Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Threads: 4
Posts: 76
| You have to be a sad idiot to care about the difference between number 5 and number 6th in the class - very very sad, as that class rank difference says nothing about your academic ability, your smartness, or your character. The fact that someone would care so much would be ground for rejection from college in my eyes - should teach them a good lesson | |
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