hookem168

*Student gets an answer incredibly wrong in-class*
My AP Calc teacher: "Tommy, stop acting like someone with mental disabilities!' hahaha

*Student talks to her friend/giggles obnoxiously, etc.*
my AP chem teacher: "*siiiiiiigh* *SPLASHES BEAKER OF WATER ALL OVER GIRL* Quick! It's hydrochloric acid! Omg! Get it off! Hurry!"

hahaha

jk_91

briguy, I forgot, something to do with identifying a graph. I was honestly too busy laughing to understand what we learned that day. It was particularly funny because he actually made that, uh, fingering motion.

phanatic

Hmm, the "quizzies" quote sounds like something from my school.

Anyway, here are a few I've heard:

Student: "I heard something about how Warren G. Harding was black!"
Another student: "Wait, wasn't Lincoln half-black?"
Teacher: "No, the thing about Lincoln was that he had a relationship with one of his slaves."
Me: *headdesk*

(And these are just humorous, from one teacher known for his sarcastic and witty remarks)

Student: "Wow, I sense your sarcasm."
Mr. W_____: "I'm glad you sense my sarcasm, because I'm laying it on pretty thick."

Mr. W_____: "Do you want to cuddle on my lap while we read?"

Mr. W_____: "Now we're getting somewhere! Educational insults are flying!"

Mr. W_____: "In a moment, I'm going to impale myself with my own coffee cup over all the blank stares I'm getting." <-- And he *always* has his coffee cup!

Oh, good times, good times, in that class.

Kaznack

AP Chem teacher:

"____ (name that rhymes with Maine), in my butt, you are a pain...wait a minute..."

radionowhere

my middle school history teacher used to say, "catch the cow by the tail and go fishing!" what does that even mean?

zsg

Super-serious principal: "Sex is like a sandwich."

Everybody started laughing, and he never finished his simile.

Same principal: "I value the Aeneid more than any of your lives. If you and the book were caught in a burning building, I know who I'd save."
Same principal, to a student: "If this were Hobbes' theory of nature and we were both monkeys, I'd steal your banana and **** on your face."

entrancestone

After finishing a project in technology in like 8th grade, my teacher wanted the magnets back and he said "Give me your gizmos".

War Chant

My physics teacher said "Thats what she said!" replying to a student in the middle of the class, we all started cracking up.

Johnson181

We've had a few male teachers use "That's what she said!" at the best times (all-girls school).

Poetry teacher: "...nature and all the trees are having sex!"

Physics teacher: "now depending on the size of the bottle, you'll have to decide if you want to use a big nipple or a short nipple" (we were making lamps).

woami

driver's ed teacher: "Now, you want to go in while the engine's hot, and pull out while the engine's cold."

Is my mind just perverted? I was the only that that started laughing at this statement.

briguy

i get it. it's the "pull out part." lawlz

proletariat2

I get it, too, but you really have to look for it.

I've had more than my share of silly quotes, but I won't get into them.

Johnson181

It's not that difficult to see... you don't need to really "look for it."

dreamer..

My crazy analysis teacher: Cosine is like a bucket..FILL ME UP! FILL ME UP! lmao.

My crazy Spanish teacher: "The baby was MUYY feo"
Student: "You can't call a baby ugly!"

She replied, "Oh my god,it was SOO a-ugly,the face..it was just hideous!"

Just imagine it in a heavy accent,lol.

briguy

lol i like the cosine is like a bucket one