How to convince my Asian parents?

afraidtoapply · 07-06-2009, 02:49 PM

Well, my parents are Asian, but unsual. I'm 17 and want to apply to a prep school in Boston and I'm in Texas. But they wouldn't let me go. My mother walked away when I told her "mom, if I apply and got in, I'll go to another state". She didn't care about my opinion. What's worse, when I talk to them about colleges, believe me, they said " Oh don't bother applying to H/Y/P, you're gonna get rejected anyway. It's OK to attend the local university." and because I live in Houston they say " yeah at the most you can go to Rice(?)". I take it as an insult because I rank high at school, albeit not-very-famous one, and I really want to go out of state to achieve. I want to get into Harvard, go to Yale or Princeton. But they just don't let me try. And my mom is funny as she has a habit of telling everyone she knows the postitive and negative sides of mine. I don't understand why she has to boast the negatives just to have something to talk to her friends. I'm really frustrated with my parents. How should I convince them to let me try?

Philsophydude · 07-06-2009, 02:51 PM

What are your stats mate?

Unoriginal · 07-06-2009, 03:07 PM

Why go to a prep, boarding school? Why don't you just enjoy your senior year at your current school, work hard in your senior classes, take your standardized tests, and just see where you get accepted? Not going to prep school isn't the end of the world.

afraidtoapply · 07-06-2009, 03:10 PM

No actually I'm in tenth grade. I'm going to turn 17 this year. I want to the chance to apply first, but they didn't let me to....
Because I have a goal so I would try to go all the way to meet my goal. If you have a goal like I do, you would want to do it

Unoriginal · 07-06-2009, 03:19 PM

Yeah, I have goals, and I try to reach them.

Going to a prep school is not guaranteed admission to top universities. The idea of going to New England from Texas simply for high school seems a bit outrageous to me.

Kids from public schools get into ivies and ivy-caliber schools all the time. Kids from my crappy high school got into Columbia, MIT, Princeton, etc.

Philsophydude · 07-06-2009, 03:25 PM

I agree with Unoriginal. That's why I asked you for your stats,

Unless you're in the top 1%, have a 2300 SAT+, varsity sports, and you're not being challenged enough in your current school system there would be no benefit in going to a prep school vs a public one.

Demiitasse · 07-06-2009, 03:57 PM

^What they said.
Being at the top in rankings at a public school is often times more impressive than ranking 20th in some rigorous prep school, and plus, you can relax and still be at the top your junior and senior years if you stay in Texas. Why go so far away?
If you feel unchallenged, take online/outside courses in AP's, brush up on high caliber EC's and competitions if appropriate, and so on.
You can take their comments as insults, but don't just stand there. Prove them wrong.
"But they don't just let me try"--the only person stopping you is yourself. What are they going to do, beat you up?
You don't have to listen to your parents about not applying to HYP though. Just do it! You'll have 0 chances of getting in if you don't even apply.
Finally, all asian parents just bad-mouth their children because it's a way of being "modest" as my dad explains to me. (Modest in an extreme way. In an asian way.) It's normal for asians, so man-up and good luck whatever happens.

P.S. Rice is awesome.

afraidtoapply · 07-06-2009, 04:10 PM

No I'm not at a top public school. It was a long story but I got cheat off by my GT coordinator and so I missed the deadline.
Being modest sure helps you sometimes when you talk to others, but it sure doesn't if you go extreme in your mind i.e: having low self esteem
@Philosophy dude: I'm in 10th grade therefore I don't have any SAT, I got a few good EC, no varsity sport (I'm playing tennis but not there yet)
@unoriginal: Are you sure that your "crappy" high school send kids to Ivies? Then it's not crappy anymore. My high school never sent anybody beyond U of Texas, albeit an extremely rare case a kid (Hispanic) got into Rice in 2008 because of his PSAT. Prep schools sure don't guarantee anything, but they increase your chance. That's why

P/s: I'm not saying Rice is bad but I want to shoot for the star

Demiitasse · 07-06-2009, 04:15 PM

I know, but you know asian parents...they don't want to boast so the opposite is being extremely modest and saying "Oh you know my son/daughter isn't good at anything blah blah blah." Just don't worry about it.
Instead, focus on proving them wrong!

My crappy high school sends kids to Ivies. It's a state of mind. Afraidtoapply, just try!
Go ahead and shoot for the stars, but don't forget to apply to Rice :]

fizix2 · 07-15-2009, 07:38 AM

^ heh my asian mom is the exact opposite, she has a binder with my awards and sat scores that she takes out and shows to people. it really bugged me when i found out.

op: it sucks that your parents like to discourage you. but you can succeed regardless of whether you think you can. you can always apply behind their backs

like others have said, take it as a challenge! and stay strong

it seems kind of weird though...are you sure they're not just saying these things because they don't have enough money to send you to an out of state school?

afraidtoapply · 07-15-2009, 08:54 AM

Uh not that.... If I'm selected I'll go on a full scholarship. The problem is they don;'t even let me try

fizix2 · 07-15-2009, 09:11 AM

how silly of them.

afraidtoapply · 07-15-2009, 09:37 AM

they;re not silly. I think they're just overprotective.

Gryffon5147 · 07-15-2009, 07:22 PM

In the long run, it doesn't matter how good or bad the school apparently is. Don't let your school's college record discourage you from doing well yourself. You could be the one who sets precedent.

etceterae · 07-16-2009, 10:00 AM

Why not try TAMS? I've got 4 friends who go there and they all love it. Also, it's still in Texas so your mom won't feel the extreme distance issue.