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I'm a junior with good grades (94 avg) and SATs (2270). I'm in a highly selective high school that sends many students to top colleges, and I'm doing pretty well there, but I spent sophomore year upset because people who I didn't think of as significantly "smarter" than me were getting much, much better grades. My mother and I had assumed that I have ADD for a while, but the discrepancy between my "potential" and my performance became extremely apparent this school year, and in December, I was diagnosed with ADD (inattentive).
I've spent the past hour reading various articles about "gifted" kids with ADD, and all of it rings true. It's so, so, so psychologically debilitating. When I was younger, I knew I was smart, and assumed that I'd be going to an Ivy (not that I knew if I even wanted to go to one). That's not going to happen, though. My friends dismiss it, saying that they'd also do better on stimulants and that everybody has some degree of it. My best friend also has ADD, but sometimes I'm reluctant to talk about it with her because she's doing much worse in school than I am. (For the record, I LOVE the creative advantages of ADD, and I don't think I'd give those up for anything.)
I've been on Focalin for a few weeks, but I don't know how much it's helped -- I've been crashing pretty hard, and I still have trouble not procrastinating, although when I do work I'm able to focus more easily. I still leave things for the last minute and find it hard to self-regulate. If I start using the computer while I'm on meds, it's really difficult for me to stop. I have a lot of theoretical motivation, but I don't seem to be able to apply it.
Does anyone have any coping strategies other than "giving yourself a schedule"/using a planner better/stuff like that? I have a very hard time sticking to a routine. I know I need to do behavioral therapy, but I don't see when I'd fit that in after school. I know there's personal weakness here -- I just want ideas.
Should I disclose to colleges? What if my grades don't improve enough?
I don't even know what specifically I'm posting here for, but any suggestions/support would be welcome, as I'm kind of in a pit of despair at the moment.