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Very High Test Scores V Underperformance = Lack Of Effort?
Although son was A-/B+ student two issues surfaced toward the end of 8th grade. His Advanced Math grade fell from B to a C in second to last grading period and teacher said he was not putting sufficient effort into his work. He went on to finish year with a B case closed?
About the same time he came to us and said he was always last to finish his exams (not limited to Math) and this was becoming stressful and embarrassing. End of school was just 6 weeks away and we thought reading course during the summer would help. He readily agreed.
From ages 3-11 we resided outside of the US where he had attended English-speaking schools in each of the 3 countries where we were posted. At age 7 he was not yet able to read and he was tested by child psych who concluded, very bright child, he will read when he is ready to read. Six months later he was reading at a level far above his classmates.
HS Placement Exam scores were high and had indicated he could/should take all Honors classes available to 9th graders. We allowed him to be placed in just two (English1H and Math - GeoH) in order to ensure quality of education and reduce stress of transition.
He struggled with Math from Day 1 and had fallen to a D by the beginning of the second quarter. Conversations/written correspondence with teacher, GC, and math tutor (retained after issue arose ) were all over the board: intellectual capability, inability to process at speed of honors level course, minimal effort, transition issue, this is just the way he is, you shouldnt push him to be something he is not.
Overall performance became erratic mostly As and Bs but two-three missed Hwk assignments per class, two failed exams (in total), etc Struggle with Math impacting other classes?
My conclusion: very high test scores v underperformance = lack of effort and I began to over-manage and put significant pressure on him.
Towards the end of his sophomore year he told me the harder I try the worse it gets, I think I have ADHD.
I was diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder II at age 47 (had not been identified for +/- 30 yrs) but there are conflicting second/third opinions. I am treated/medicated as if I have BP II by psychiatrist specializing in neuro pharmacology (he was one of the dissenters). I later learned he works mostly with those who have serious mental illnesses.
Immediately had son evaluated by psych and was told son doesnt show signs of BP or ADHD, instead told I needed to back-off a little.
Four weeks before end of 10th grade took son to see college admission specialist (so I could back-off). She told him he needs significant improvement in grades in junior year in order to show trend of improvement - she believes he is capable of doing so. Also told him he needs very high Standardized Test scores - she believes high test scores will come rather easily for him.
His grades jumped up dramatically (high 80s to mid-90s) in all classes except Math. All Final exams in mid-80s .except Math F(45%).
Son had been told 6 weeks earlier that he was being dropped from Math Honors Program because he had to work too hard to keep-up. His grade was a B at the time he was told this and it is true he needed to work harder in Math than in his other courses.
Following are Math scores from Standardized Tests taken in last two years. Composite/Overall scores are in same range.
Given his performance and/or challenges to-date I was afraid that the pressure from junior year would be too much and I was looking for information on standardized test strategies in CC when the headline What's with being really smart and having learning disabilities too? caught my attention.
I started to read some of the posts and immediately began to freak-out. Have I missed the possibility of my son having a learning disability and instead done further damage by exerting too much pressure? If so, what help is needed? How much damage can be un-done?
Ill deal later with the I hate myself right now. Of all people I should never have missed this issue. Right now thats not the priority