InquisitiveOne

This is something I ALWAYS think about when interacting with others, since sooner or later, one of my mental illnesses (official diagnoses of asperger's, ADHD; and I also probably have an anxiety disorder or avoidant PD but i havent seen a need to get diagnosed with that yet) will probably show up. I can't pretend to be normal forever.

Obviously, there is no error-free way of identifying those who may potentially be sympathetic to mental illnesses, but anything better than chance is desirable. Obviously, the world is ripe with white lies, and people often pretend to be friendly/sympathetic when they're really not.

it seems that with MANY individuals, they will not care that much (aka they will find your quirks amusing rather than annoying) if you become close enough to them. of course, this presupposes the ability to maintain a relationship, which is much more difficult to the neurotic person with asperger's, adhd, and anxiety.

Mitdu

Inquisitive--

There can be quite a bit of grey area between a mental illness, a psychiatric disorder, a medical disorder, and a learning disability. Not because they all are the same, but because there are some overlaps.

Personally, I don't think of ADHD or Aspergers as being mental illnesses, but believe anxiety disorder is. I think of ADHD as a neurologically-based medical disorder, and I believe Aspergers is a developmental disorder. Anxiety disorders do fit the criteria for a psychiatric disorder, but research shows the origin of anxiety disorder is physiological: a difference in brain chemistry.

And as you probably know, there is a high rate of comorbidity between the Autism Spectrum (including Aspergers) and ADHD. In fact, some specialists believe ADHD is actually a Spectrum trait. And there is also a high rate of comorbidity between any developmental or learning difference...and anxiety. That's why I say there is a grey area.

However, your point is well-taken. When you're dealing with others, you can't know what is in their heart.

But I have to ask: what is NORMAL? To quote others, "normal" is only a setting on the dryer. I don't think any human being can claim to be truly "normal." We all have our quirks.

People who are most likely to be accepting of others are people who are comfortable with the fact that no one is truly "normal." The main reasons that some people are not sympathetic to others/accepting of differences are fear and lack of knowledge.

If you have a few close friends who accept you as you are, consider yourself "normal." Most of us don't know what our many acquaintences really think of us. We accept their pleasantries and small talk during our interactions, but don't really know if they truly like us, respect us, or understand our unique difficulties. Honestly, it doesn't matter. Being nice to each other during basic, surface interaction is not pretending. It's the best way to achieve common goals without getting hung up on the small stuff.

If you find that you are frequently or always suspicious of your colleagues and acquaintances, you might benefit from talking to a counselor or therapist.

^_^ v_v

you tell everyone and filter out the ones who avoid you afterwards.

this strategy actually works, and brings you a hell of a lot closer to the ones who don't. but you end up with a higher percentage of mentally ill friends than you would otherwise.

also you have to bring it up in a natural way, or else it's just awkward.

Topolover

You don't. At least *I* never could. It's a risk you have to take. Either take it and chance finding someone "tolerable" or don't take a chance and NEVER find someone tolerable. I used to be so intollerant of people and my disability, because it used to bother me so much over how I have been treated in the past. It still happens, but I've grown accustomed to it. And as I have learned to overlook their incompetence, I find it's easier to find people that ARE "tolerant" of my disability. Kinda of quirky (in a sense) I think.

First, I think you're reading too much into yourself. Some of those aren't illnesses, but impairments. They cause some difficulty, yes. Perhaps it's my lack of education on them that I say they are impairments. Illnesses can be "cured". Impairments, not really.
Besides, who in their right mind wants to be normal?

Nope. You just deal with it like the rest of thew world does. I know how much it hurts when someone you thought was a friend betrays you. Man, it's plain awful. While it may hurt you, it hurts them even worse. Others see what they do and that hurts that person's reputation. How you handle the loss can either help or hurt yours as well.

It's because of their lack of education on the issues. I see nothing neurotic with those. You're just "different" than me.

I know what you're talking about though. I have a Traumatic Brain Injury. An actual physical injury to the brain from an accident. When people find out about it, they rarely understand that it's an actual physical insult to the brain. They typically think on the line of brain injury = mental illness = and then insert any of the personas from Hollyweird like "Jason", "Freddy Krueger", and "Dr. Hannibal Lector".

You may think that folks with degrees actually know something about that. Well, they don't. I remember at one college the Disabled Students Services counselor asked me if I as prescribed any medications to make me safe for college. Huh? Safe? For college? LOL! That's like asking a guy if he's on medication to make him safe for college after breaking his leg! That was a four year school. Locally I have two community colleges that have refused me enrollment until I provide a "recent" psychological examination. And I have NEVER been on their campus. Never met them. All I can do is shake my head. It's pretty sad.

All you can do is take a chance. Show that you're a better person. You can't force a person to like you, you can't force a person to accept you, just as you can't force a horse to drink.