KP2001 - Fair enough, wrong turn of phrase I apologize, you are definately not an idiot. That said I now understand you to be a Navy Physician so I find it hard to believe you are unaware of data and reports that say the current Ops Tempo and activation pace and duration on the Gaurd and Reserve associated with the on-going GWOT isn't putting excessive strain on our military and their families - regardless of whether they are Active Duty, apparently like yourself, or are in the national guard or reserve components. In any case the studies and reports that I've followed, read and base my opinions on are on a trail that starts with a 2003 GAO report to the Senate and House Armed Serivice committees here:
http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d031004.pdf.
Following that trail will lead you to items such as a 2006 AIR COMMAND AND STAFF COLLEGE - AIR UNIVERSITY paper/theseis by an LTC that is titled "EFFECTS OF OPERATIONS TEMPO ON MOBILITY PILOT RETENTION IN THE RESERVE COMPONENTS" approved for public release and available on the www at:
https://www.afresearch.org/skins/rim...rs=enginespage. Interestigly one of the statemetns in that paper whic I wholeheartedly agree with is: "Many people have traditionally thought of Guard and Reserve pilots as “weekend warriors” and that they would only be called to active duty after all other options had been exhausted. This is clearly not the case." The paper goes on to provide data to support this statement, it further chronicles and explains "While serving the Air Force, the part-timers must also factor in their family. Many issues effect families. Temporary Duty (TDY) and mobilizations result in family separations. This separation can be stressful for both the member and the spouse. Mobilizations may also affect health care benefits and monthly income." It gives details as to what that means and while active duty PCS every three years or so during their careers I would tell you in many instanes the lack of a similar support network for NG and Reservists who are activated and have their family lives impacted to a degree and frequency as the current GWOT causes, in some cases more so for certain career specialists, is something that current GAO, DOD and other studies have been completed on and are ongoing in response to Congressional Enquiries. I'd expect over the next 12 months, now that the NG is led by a 4 star general, these items will be better addressed and even more data will become available.
In response to your question " Just one example that I was talking about today with someone: moving every 1-3 years. I'm currently active duty and in the past 2.1 years I have moved (PCS) 3 times. And not short moves either, NE to SE to NW. Now explain how a spouse is to 1)get and 2)keep a job with that schedule to add on to the fun of moving. " If I make a leap here and suppose you are younger than I - say late 20's/early thirties while I'm 49 I will tell you this situation isn't unique to active duty military. I have had a 27 year Post KP career that has been pretty successful. To put that in motion I worked hard, took opportunities and moved frequently early in my career. In fact we got married in 1988 and between 1987 when we got engaiged and 1996 - nine years later - we moved 5 times. I'm not complaing, I'm just giving you the basis for my answers and letting you know you don't have to be on active duty to move around alot for your career. In fact I'll tell you over half the Kings Pointers I know move around the world more post graduation than most other folks. It's part of what makes us who we are and as successful as we are.
In our case we had some mitigating factors - 1) My wife is a nurse and finding employment in that career field isn't as hard as finding employment in many others. However like you we dealt with the stress and disatisfaction that uprooting yourselves from a job you like at a place you're happy with, and a social group (Church, etc.) you've just gotten to know and vice-versa and being "the trailing spouse" causes. 2) We tried the I'll go first and commute thing once - it didn't work well for both of us during the early stages of our marriage at all so we made a concious effort and some accomodations, she never had to work where she didn't like it wen we did these moves and if that meant tightening our belts and living on one income for a few months while she got settled that's what we did. She also picked all houses, churches and schools regardless of what advice I might get form folks I worked with. There were others but I'm sure you understand and are doing similar things. During those 9 years we sacrificed thigs so my career could move as quickly as possible though.
3)The end result is/was that in 1996 with our son entering first grade we made a concious decision to try and make our next move one of our last and to a place and position that would slow things down abit as far as relocation. That worked but again not without sacrifices. For two stints of almost two years a piece (mid 1998-mid 2000) and (early 2005 - late 2006) I traveled alot and basically lived away from our home here in VA in apartments my then employer provided me for as long as 8 weeks at a time. In one case in Turkey and another in NYC. Doing this allowed me to keep my career going without causing our family to move, don't get me wrong we talked about it but it didn't happen and at this point I'm glad - for us we made the right choices.
Bottom line from my perspective - we all make compromises and sacrifices to do something we want and achieve our goals. Me and my family did and it sounds like you and your family are too. I thank you for your service but I also have to believe you get a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment out of it, like most all folks I know who pursue Active Duty Miulitary Careers do to. I don't begrudge you those feelings or think any less of your sacrifices because you get that sense of accomplishment. I also don't belittle the impacts and sacrifices on others who might be doing so as Gaurdsman or Reservists and I took exception to the way you characterized their contribution to our national defense. If you want more data or links I'll galdly send them individually but I wouldn't want to be condescending again so if you'd like to find them yourself I'd google search with keywords "DOD Data Stress On Reservists Ops Tempo" or similar.
No I''m not a troll nor do I think you are else I wouldn't have gone on this far. if you are a troll like I think the kid who started this thread is - then you got me and I hope you have a good belly laugh. Trust me when I say you don't want to google search "DOD Data Stress Reservists Suicide Rates" or "DOD Data Stress Divorce Rate" statisitcs which apparently ahppily held steady in 2007/2008 at just 3.3% per DoD (active, Guard and Reserve" -I highlight this because if it's only about data and not about people/anecdotes then you can make the case the military (all services - Active, Guard and Reserve) doesn't put stress on the family unit apparently any more than civilian life since the divorce rate doesn't seem too bad. Before you blast me - I don't believe that or share that view for a minute.
Thanks again and good luck in all you do.