RunningtheBasses

There is not much anyone could add to improve this thread. BassDad, your account makes for wonderful reading, filled with valuable information for anyone embarking on their own incredible journey.

That said, I would like to share an abbreviated version of our own adventure to show that the fun doesn’t always end with the mailing of that deposit check. The best possible outcome sometimes lies at the end of a rather long and winding road.

By junior year, S figured out that he wanted to major in music performance. He’d been taking lessons from a great teacher, someone who regularly subbed at the Met orchestra and NY Phil and played in our local symphony. By all estimations, S was “pretty good,” so we took a rather conservative approach in applying to schools: two in-state state universities with solid music programs; one LAC; one large out-of-state university.

S auditioned onsite for one of the in-states offsite and was waitlisted. The other in-state audition was onsite, and went very well. The instructor really wanted S, offering what money he could and going so far to call his private teacher to ask how he might persuade S to enroll.

S was a late auditioner at the LAC and was not accepted.

The auditon at the out-of-state university got off to a shaky start. (In hindsight, I think the fates were trying to tell us something.) S fractured his wrist (not badly, just a hairline) about a week before his audition date. A cast would have made it impossible to practice, never mind audition, so S (with my reluctant okay) got by with a removable splint. Then about two hours and two states into our trip to the school, he realized that he had forgotten his instrument. Nevertheless, when we finally got there (with instrument) he played well, made it into the scholarship round, and got a nice offer that ultimately sealed the deal. Or so I thought.

Some months later, we drove down to attend orientation for admitted students. S went to workshops, registered for classes, the whole bit. All seemed fine, until well into the ride home when S nearly caused me to drive off the road. “I made a mistake,” he said. “I don’t want to go there.” Neither did he want to go to the in-state school. He was adamant. Now what?

Well, S got a job. For a year, he continued lessons with his private teacher. He played in a community orchestra. He enrolled at the local community college and took core courses at night. He saved money and did some more research. And he set his sights on a completely different school, a conservatory within a university. He auditioned, was accepted with a nice scholarship, and immersed himself in his surroundings. He transferred his core credits. Four years later, a very happy S graduated magna cum laude with a BM in performance.

Onto grad school, but not right away. The stress of senior recital, school performances, and finishing degree requirements took its toll and his auditions at the conservatories did not go well. S sought counsel from a professor, who told S to enroll in the certificate program at his alma mater for a year and to just play, don’t do any academic coursework. Good advice that paid off – he auditioned this spring and was accepted at a NY conservatory in their MM program, with a little money to boot. He couldn’t be more pleased. Will S make a career of music? Who knows? He is following what he feels is the right course, and I applaud his tenacity.

I share this saga to help ease the anxiety of both those kids feeling the pressure of having to make exactly the right choice, and those who ended up with not many schools to choose from. There are many routes to success, not just one. And sometimes the more meandering path will actually lead you closer to your desired destination.

jazzzmomm

As I woke up in the pre-dawn darkness today, my stomach in knots, wondering if I have steered my kid in the wrong direction with his school choices, I sat down and read this post, and came right back to my senses.

Thank you for telling that story! Of course there are many roads to success, and they are not always smooth and straight. I hope my son would have the strength, as your son did, to confess that he did not feel comfortable with his options, and make a bold choice like taking a year to regroup. It's great to hear that waiting and thinking about things worked for you! This reminds me how important it is to LISTEN to your kids.

musicmom

RunningtheBasses-
Thank you so much for that story. Your son is a wise young man and he has wonderful parents who listen.

Our son's music adventure has not been a straight path either. He is shortly finishing an undergrad music ed degree and hopes to pursue a MM in performance. Your story is very encouraging!

RunningtheBasses

You are most welcome. I am glad my post achieved its intended purpose.

musicmom, I wish your S well. A number of my kids’ peers (some musicians, some not) had college experiences didn’t proceed according to plan. Yet they're all still standing.

My S was quite fortunate in that he had several mentors who were willing to share their accrued wisdom. This helped S follow his instincts, but in a sensible realistic way.

If I may be so bold as to offer some advice – have S consult with at least one person in “the business” he trusts and respects, someone who knows his ambitions and has a true sense of his potential. It doesn’t necessarily have to be his studio teacher (in my S’s case, it wasn’t). Such discussions can often yield viable options that the student hadn’t considered.

Best wishes to all!

papengena

What a wonderful thread you've started bass!! I only wish I'd found it 4 or 5 yrs ago, when my son was still a Junior in high school!! I think you covered literally every single thing my son (and I) went thru from 3rd grade on, with his interest in music. Our only minor struggle was the point where he had to begin to cut out baseball to sing in all the choirs and chorus's he was in. We used to talk to him about the odds he would have trying to have a career in baseball versus his chance at a career in music....and music won out slowly. We really never tried to nudge him in any direction, but it was clear from an early age that he was very talented vocally without any extreme effort on his part. And he couldn't ever stop singing.

Anyway, the college quest for him, was pretty simple. He knew from the start that his first choice would be Oberlin Conservatory..he actually never even had a 2nd choice..lol, despite his guidance counselors telling him to apply to at least 3 schools. We agreed with the counselor, and with the help of his voice teacher encouraged him to pick a 2nd choice, which ultimately was Eastman School of Music. His primary reason for choosing Oberlin was because the focus is on undergrads. He has had a role or a lead in all the main things since he was a freshman, which I think is because of the size of the program. He loves his voice teacher as well as the many other professors he's worked with. The atmosphere is so fully focused on music, its a dream place for a young man with high hopes. I think the size of the school and its location was also something that was good for him. The rural setting helps the students stay kind of focused on the "Con" most of the time. They do go into Cleveland and the surrounding areas, but he and his freinds are really all happiest at the Con, watching each other's rehearsals, and recitals..or doing thier own.

You mentioned summer programs before they get to the Colleges of thier choices. My son did go away to different music programs each summer, which were wonderful experiences. He's continued to do that in college as well, in fact The Oberlin in Italy, program is fantastic. Five weeks immersed in Italian, all while rehearsing for various operas or other ensemles to perform in.

All in all, we support his choice 100%. It is his life, and music fills his soul...I can see it and hear it.

Soooooo...this year, we go onto Phase II in the quest for vocal performance education!! He's got to begin choosing the schools he wants to apply to for his masters..lol...(here we go again)

He dreams of Curtis, (who wouldn't)
Julliard
Rice

I'm hoping for Julliard, cause we live in NJ..and that would be sooo much easier then driving for 7 hours (Oberlin) or yikes, Rice U, in Texas!!! But, at least I dont feel as nervous this time around as I did when he first started this journey

Good luck, and congratulations to all the parents of musically inclined children!! Its a true gift from God, isn't it?

opera-mom

I have enjoyed reading all the posts on this thread. I am new to the site.

My D is a junior in HS and we have just recently started down this path. She has been taking vocal lessons for the past 3 years. She loves it..

Last year after state hs competition my brother in law (who is a local band teacher) said that we had to consider sending her to Interlochen for this years summer camp. I had never even heard of it, much less any of the other programs. After much praying and God putting many circumstances and people in our path....She has now auditioned and been accepted into both Interlochen (Michigan) and Walnut Hill School (MA) for her senior year of HS....Both programs are excellent but she ultimately decided upon Walnut Hill School where she will attend a 3 week summer opera camp (2 weeks in Natick MA, and 1 week in Italy attending operas and visiting historic sites). She will then continue on at Walnut Hill as a music major for her senior year of HS.

We have been researching university/conservatory programs. I am happy to read many good things about Oberlin as that is one we are considering. One of the teachers at Walnut Hill also teaches voice at Oberlin. We hope to visit there a little later this summer.

Thanks again for this thread....Although it does make me feel a little behind in the game :}

Anyother insites would be appreciated.

BaystateNutmeg

Papengena:

If you end up in Texas, Jet Blue flies from Kennedy to Houston (Hobbie airport) non-stop. The prices are reasonable. Continental flies from Newark or LaGuardia to Houston. We found it very doable from Connecticut.

I'm not sure where you live in NJ, but it's only a 3 1/2 to 4 hour flight (depends on which way the wind's blowing!)