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Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: NY
Posts: 3,362
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ok.
12 days left.
Might as well as discuss the "significant other."
Some of you are packing, some are not. Trust me when I say that IF you can come in solo, without a bf or gf pulling at your heartstrings, you will be ahead of the game.
Too late? Already someone attached? Be prepared, for your life just got a whole lot more complicated.
They call it the 2% club. 2% of those coming in with a "S.O." will end up still together at the end of the 4 years by the bay, usually heading up the aisle right after tossing that cover. 2% of 1450- you do the math. You would have better odds playing crap out in LA (not that I am recommending you do that). If you are one of the long-shots, and actually make it out the other end still intact as a couple, good for you, but if you ask me, launching a career and marriage right out of the gate is a lot to deal with. Some do, and some actually make it to 25+years- but we are talking about a whole different generation from yours.
So putting the 2% aside, that leaves 98% of you coming out in 2013 either single or with someone else, and lots of time to meet a whole host of others inbetween. Truth be told, those of you with gf's/bf's will be lucky to still be a "couple" by the time you head home for Thanksgiving. And while you are "pining" away (old fashioned term- look it up), you have no idea what your s.o. is up to- and there is a good chance they will be up to lots. Will assume they are about the same age, launching from home to colleges of their own, meeting a whole host of people, and LOTS of time and freedom to party-hardy. That is not the road you are on, and the clash between the two leads to lots of drama, lots of "worry," a good dash of "anger," plenty of heartache, and one big distraction from the job you have to do.
You do not have the time to party hardy- literally and figuratively. You will be lucky to stay out of trouble to get a few hours of liberty each saturday, and even then you are tied to a 30 mile limit of the yard. On Sundays, you are stuck on the yard, restricted from sitting anywhere, and lucky to fit in church (assuming you do that), extra lucky if your company allows you a little extra sleep on sunday (in truth, the upperclass want to sleep in as well), and somehow you have to fit in memorizing your rates for your professional knowledge quiz Sunday nights, and completing any homework for monday classes. So, so easy to fall behind with studies, especially if you have other things occuping what little "free" time you have. Add in a varsity or JV sport, club, D&B, etc, - you get the picture.
Plebe killers:
aside from the usual chem and calc, the killers are internet, internet and internet. So easy to get distracted. So easy to lose an hour fighting with a gf/bf that does not "get" why it is you can't call them 24/7, or respond instantly to their text messages. They grow tired of it fast, and you will get your fill of the drama associated with the whole thing. So think long and hard about a s.o. and how it will impact on your goal. It's all about focus, and anything that distracts from that can and will hurt you.
As time goes by, you will learn to balance the demands of academics and your military obligations, and there will be time to include other activites in your schedule. I know a s.o. seems unbelievably important right now, but in the big scheme of things, you are going to meet a ton of people, especially if you are "free" to meet them, including the friends you will make right at the academy.
Parents and s.o.
I could write a book.
Let me summarize that the mix does not always work. Parents who come to visit thinking they will have their family together for "family" time, and gf who may have a different view and want "couple" time. IF you can keep them seperate that is a "good thing." Put them all on the same weekend and GOOD LUCK. I don't care how well they "all" get along now, trust me when I say you are going to have one heck of a balancing act on your hands before you know it. So if you are in this situation, talk it out with your parents and S.O. now, before you get there. Figure out if you want "joint" visits or if keeping them seperate will be better. You have limited time, and you are going to have a lot of people that really care about you tugging at your sleeve to have you to themselves. Things that start off relatively well can, and often does, sour quickly, and usually before you have any warning that there is a storm brewing.
Can it ever work?
Yes. But putting it out there and discussing it early can help to avoid the pitfalls. Now, before any drama can take root, put it on the table for discussion, while you have the time to discuss and before you get frazzled with being a plebe.
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