Wow, I didn't realize we had a forum now!

TrinSF · 08-05-2009, 03:57 PM

Hi! I'm not just a parent, I'm also a full time non-traditional student. In 2010-2011, all three of my family will be in college -- me and my son and daughter!

My story: I started out with great SAT's, a "gifted underachiever" and spent freshman year at a women's LAC. Unfortunately, I had emotional and financial issues (ran up a 2K phone bill talking to a boy for hours long distance!), took a year off, and then ended up at a big southern public flagship U. While I was there, I got married, and tried to attend college *and* start a family, with poor results. (One semester I had a miscarriage during finals week!) After a professor in my major department told me that he was giving me C's so that I would give up and stop going to school, because "It's time to be a mother now, not a student," I left school.

Now that I have one child in college and another nearly there, I am finally pursuing my lifelong dream of completing my undergraduate degree. Because I was already a Religion major, I'm doing that -- which makes some folks crazy, because they think a non-traditional student should get getting a "useful" degree. Because my old GPA was terrible (1.4, or something like that, from all the WF's and Incompletes that became F's) I couldn't go to any of the big name schools nearby. Instead, I'm at a big non-selective public university. I thought I would just suffer through as fast as I could to get to grad school, but I *love* the department, which is really well suited to my interests. As a result, I'm not rushing so much to graduate.

My son and I will be applying to grad schools at the same time. One of his goals is to get his BA before I do, which motivates him to do well in classes and not take any time off. His graduation will be a week before mine, if we stay on schedule!

So, what about yall?

bessie · 09-01-2009, 03:10 PM

I went back to finish my undergraduate degree 10 years ago and now am at a CC taking some pre-req's for a different major (graduate degree this time) that I intend to apply to next spring. I am giving myself the same advice I give my kids: find something you like to study. If I went for a degree just because I could make money upon graduation (which I sorely need, don't get me wrong!), I do not think I could do it. I keep scaring my son's friends by telling them I hope we end up in the same class this semester! There is the distinct possibility that my older son and I will be in grad school at the same time! My husband, while supportive, simply hopes we will all be able to find some kind of employment at the end of this education rainbow. LOL.

vpappas83 · 10-23-2009, 05:30 PM

My freshman year of HS my parents marriage fell apart, and they took it out on my selective HS education... dad wouldnt pay and mom wouldn't take me to school (it was far). Then mom took off and dad raised me. Dad got me back on track Junior year at a public school, but midway through senior year he was waiting for me one day to tell me I had to drop out and work full time because he was sick. Doctors didn't diagnose for 2 years, and dad died 32 days after diagnosis. Close relatives said go find your mother and left me destitute. Mother's new hubbie wanted nothing to do with me... so mom and I made a deal I paid her rent and travel expenses and took out loans to finish a tech program, and took the little money left over afterwards and moved to Europe to find surviving family. Family in europe wanted nothing to do with me "because they didn't know me". After a while they accepted me, support me, and reinstilled confidence.

They got me back in US, at a CC doing a dual degree program HS/ AA and now with a 4.0 and 29 ACT... I'm 26 and applying to the country's most selective schools... and I think I have a pretty good chance!

splash79 · 10-23-2009, 11:48 PM

I was an honors student in high school and was accepted to every university that I applied to, and I did decently in my first three semesters of college (3.50+). During Christmas break between fall and spring of my sophomore year, my dad died suddenly in an accident. I attended his funeral and went back to school 4 days later. I did horribly in school after that. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't get out of bed, and didn't care at all about school. I failed my spring semester and took the summer off, but fall was no better. I tried one more time in the spring, but decided to drop out midway through the semester.

I tried going back the next year, but found that my confidence in being able to handle college coursework was completely gone. I remember that I froze up in the middle of an accounting test and ended up crying in the parking lot because if it, so I withdrew from classes and figured that getting a degree wasn't in the cards for me. I felt like I had let everyone down, because I was the first in my family to go to college.

Fast forward to last year. I was working as a admin at a physical therapists office and some of the patients were talking about their kids preparing to apply to college and I started thinking about that degree that I had always wanted. That night, I started to do research on community colleges and had applied by the end of the week. I started classes a month later, will have my AA degree in December, and plan to attend a local university in the spring.

I haven't done as well as I had in high school or the first part of college (I have a C or two), but I am very happy with my performance, considering what happened the last time. And I am beyond happy that I will be getting my first undergraduate degree, which I've wanted since I was a child.

sundoll · 10-24-2009, 12:40 AM

Oh what the heck, I'll jump on the intro bandwagon.

Good student in HS (AP, etc.) until the middle of my junior year - you can literally draw a line in my transcript where I got my car that year and my social life became the main focus. My GPA plummeted my senior year since I already had enough credits to graduate the previous year and as long as I passed English and Govt/Econ I was in the clear. At the time I had dreams of becoming an architect, but since my architecture class was during 0 period (7:15 am - boy did that cut into my sleeping time) I really screwed myself. I had been planning to apply to USC and had I kept my grades up, should have been a shoe-in. But my social life was more fun, I wasn't in a hurry to go to college or start a career, and I just let it all go to enjoy being young.

Not long after graduation I moved out of my parents' house, but I was still in my hometown and thought having my own apartment was uber-awesome. I worked graveyard at a hospital making more money than most of my friends make even now (surprising since it was an admin job) and I enrolled at the community college but again, wasn't really invested, so I dropped all of my classes except for my music and drama ones. Same thing happened the following semester, and I eventually stopped going to deal with working and paying off the credit card debt I had amassed in the past year - another fun lesson in being young.

After some other personal events, I moved home and realized I really wanted to be back in school, so I enrolled again and had a 4.0 for that semester. My hometown is essentially a black hole and I knew I had to get out, so I set my sights on SDSU and their newly created Musical Theater degree and moved 6 hours south to attend CC and then transfer. Things started out great but again, social activities were front and center and I dropped out. I was still working (another hospital) and was doing fine so I figured it just wasn't the right time. I got married, got pregnant, and got divorced all before I was 22.

Having my daughter was my trigger - I wanted to give her the best life possible, and even though I had a new job in research and all my managers and coworkers thought I was extremely bright and capable, I was limited in career and salary opportunities without a degree. It's been hard working, going to school, and raising her all my own, but I've done it almost non-stop since 2004, although I took a year off when I moved to TX so I could get settled, establish residency and save on tuition. As difficult and frustrating as the path has been, I've had the time to learn and grow from life in general, and I am so thankful I didn't go straight off to college and major in something I was apathetic about, or risk burning out from back-to-back years of rigorous coursework.

So here I am: I'm 28, a single mom, full time clinical research employee, a Psych major (BS), pre-med, and still figuring out my minor (it's required for my BS, leaning towards biology but biomedical engineering seems awesome, if it's allowed). I'm an honors student with a 3.6 GPA and Phi Theta Kappa member, very involved in local politics and volunteer in my community, often with the kiddo in tow. I still haven't figured out the timetable to finish my degree - I want to keep working so I have income to support us and have health insurance, but that drastically reduces my schedule availability and adds years to my degree completion. But I'll figure it out, and after that I'll figure out how to pull off med-school, even if it means I'm 50 before I go.

Finding the CC boards has been a lifesaver, I can vent, get advice, share my neurotic habit of checking my transfer status page 50+ times a day - it's reassuring and therapeutic. And with that, I'm off to enjoy a glass of wine before catching some sleep and studying all weekend for a calculus exam.

TrinSF · 10-24-2009, 02:09 AM

Wow, I'm so excited to see the stories! It also makes me feel better to know I'm not alone, that a lot of people have experienced life sidetracking their education. Thanks, yall!

vpappas83 · 10-24-2009, 09:40 AM

Hey sundoll... I'm still new around here.... what's the transfer status page??? I need the info I am as neurotic as anyone applying...LOL

Trin~ Nope def not alone... I was thrilled to find so many people in similar situations as well!!

sundoll · 10-24-2009, 05:17 PM

Vpappas - I meant the specific status page for UT. From what I've seen, most schools have everything electronic now, so you can check your application online at any time of day. In my case, it will be online long before they mail a physical letter out, so I check it numerous times a day to see if it's been updated with a decision. It's nerve wracking, mostly since I don't really want to go anywhere else but if I don't get in I have to get my application together for another school by December 1, and with either one, I have to start figuring out financial aid and work and course availability and a babysitter, etc. I'm a big planner these days, so not knowing what I'll be doing come spring really gets to me.

VeryHappy · 10-24-2009, 05:36 PM

Congratulations to you all. You've had awesome experiences and are more mature than traditional college students.

KTbird1 · 11-14-2009, 04:50 PM

I'm glad to have found this website, and this forum in particular. Love to hear more stories, and see more posts on here.
My story - Graduated high school in the 80's, and went straight to work. Always wanted to go to school, but for various reasons never did. I've been in electronic manufacturing for 20 years. I've never had an issue with jobs, and the field pays well. But, last few years so many shops haved moved overseas it's narrowed down the employment options dramatically. So, I was working offsite, and the shop was sold. New President wanted me on-site, but we are talking 120 miles each way. Not happening since I own a home that we are unable to sell without incurring huge losses, so seems we are stuck here for awhile.
I decided to go to community college, and have been going now for over a year. I love school. Hoping to be able to juggle work, kids, and house so I can continue and transfer to a university someday. Really want to get into another field, preferably one still here in the US. LOL.
Anyway, thanks for all the stories. Love to hear more.